This is from a book on user experience. People who design all your products and digital experiences consult books like these. They agree on standards among themselves and go to conferences that reinforce their own points of view. These are the people who make sure that "Mx" is in your gender drop-down menu when you fill in your digital health record at your doctor's office or your banking form among other things:
"It's okay to use the singular 'they'....in fact, it's preferred. Gender is not binary; an increasing number of people don't identify as a man or a woman..."
"Ask for a user's pronouns separately from asking for their gender....don't assume that someone who chooses 'male' uses 'he/him' pronouns."
"If you work in healthcare...you may be required by law to ask for a user's sex. Be sure to specify: is it their sex assigned at birth? Is it their legal sex?"
These decisions are being handed down and sold to companies and institutions of all size, and regular people are shunted into this way of thinking and encouraged to think it's the default, the way we do things, every time they use these products.
Yeah, why would they question it. Most people are so busy doing the things they have to do, that they usually just assume the manual and the people from the conference know what they are talking about. They probably think this is the norm now. For many this might be the first real experience with this sort of thing (aside from reading about the stuff, but reading about the stuff is far from their own experience). So their thinking will be set this way. I know for a long time in my life I would have. Probably still. Our country is getting some vaccines. When my time comes, I'll probably just go sit there as they poke a needle in my arm. Because, at some point, I have to trust someone knows better than me.
But don't we all wish the people making these manuals actually did know better?
I work as a UX/interaction designer, and my initial reaction to your comment was "those people are just lazy or shouldn't be doing this kind of work, if they aren't even questioning the things presented to them, and just mindlessly doing them. But then I remembered attending a (useless) conference that included a workshop on how to use sticky notes to run brainstorming sessions, so...
There are a lot of people in my field who aren't knowledgeable or skilled at what they do, like graphic designers without interaction design training or experience, or even non-designers being tasked with design work (like developers or product managers) because a company is too cheap to hire a designer. And I expect they are more likely to just mindlessly take this stuff on and do it, and to not do any research or rely on actual research/data to do it.
However, the goal in designing a web site or software or an app should be to make it easy to use and to help the user complete a task (and sometimes to collect information the company needs. Based on research and data, which might also include what customers want/need (sometimes taken with a grain of salt, or with some interpretations). If you don't include a title like Mx. and customers complain, then you need to decide if you ignore it or add it. And if you need to collect some info about your user, but use weird phrasing or terminology, they will either bail, blame themselves, or get confused.
If you add a title field and customers complain that "Mx." isn't there, then you have a choice about whether to ignore this or add it. If you need to collect some info and make (biological) sex for the purpose of healthcare, and you use terminology that's confusing or inaccurate, then you are risking confusing your users or having them bail
I will say that it's unlikely that this stuff will be immediately appearing on web sites and software everywhere, because it takes time for this kind of thing to change. Especially the larger or bigger a company or web site/app is, the more likely it will take time to change all that. And usually there are far more important things, like bugs to fix or major features to add, so it would be surprising to see this as a top priority
I'm just one person, but I know better, and I will try to do what I can to combat this stuff, if and when I run into it! :)
Would you mind sharing the title of the book this is from?
I'm a UX/interaction designer, and I don't really agree with the idea that we all agree on design standards or all attend conferences to reinforce certain points of view. Sure, there may be trends and changes in design patterns, but if you're doing your job properly, you're relying on user research and concepts of cognitive psychology.
That said, there are a lot of people who describe themselves as "UX designers" who are really just graphic designers, and have no knowledge or experience in human-computer interaction/interaction design, and that's partly due to the industry/profession still being relatively new. Add to that the companies who are too cheap to hire actual designers, and leave the job to people not trained in design, like engineers/developers or product managers, and the issue is only compounded.
The content that appears in dropdown menus or form fields should be based in actual requirements, like being necessary to complete a task or provide a company/organization with info they need to track a customer's details, or for legal reasons. Having "Mx." as an option might come from a company wanting to be woke, or based on customer complaints if it wasn't there.
You also need to use terms and design elements that a user is familiar with, and if you don't, they will either bail completely, blame themselves, or get angry at you. If you need to ask their (biological) sex and are using confusing language, then you're just shooting yourself in the foot.
Which brings me to the recommendation of "they" in a singular form. What was the context of that? If you're talking about a user in generic sense, then that seems perfectly fine. I've worked with development teams who ALWAYS referred to a user as he, which I really hated, so I make a point of saying "they" when it could be a man or woman who was using the product. Easier than saying "he or she" every time.
It might also be helpful to consider that for larger companies or older products, it can take some time for this stuff to catch on. Just because it's in a design book doesn't mean it will happen immediately. And maybe by the time companies are starting to take notice, everyone may have already moved on to something completely different.
I want to answer this in detail but don't want to give out too many details about myself. You and I have had different experiences. It appears we work in the same space but not the same roles. I'm referring to conferences I attended and books published within the past 18mo or so and there is definitely more of a hive mind mentality than there was in the past. Language around gender featured very prominently.
If you want I can send you a dm
After I posted my comment, I remembered the last conference I attended (several years ago), where there was a workshop on how to use sticky notes for brainstorming. So I guess this would fit pretty nicely with that. But I would hope it isn't just swallowed whole people, if they're doing their jobs properly or thinking critically (though how many fit that is hard to quantify). It definitely takes some time for larger or more established companies to even take on new design standards, so who knows.
If you don't mind sharing some more details via DM, I'd love to know more and compare notes! :)