41

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAgUHyXr7_Y

Really interesting clip with a lot of truth to it, IMO. They're discussing the problem of young males becoming increasingly more maladjusted to current society and technology and how it's creating violent, single, hateful young men. History has shown that countries with too many young, unattached men tend to be prone towards revolutions, war and violence.

This is definitely a problem in the USA as we've seen with such easy access to guns and increasing numbers of mass shootings being done 99.9% of the time by men. As a mother of boys this resonates with me. Personally, I'm trying to avoid giving my kids any social media for as long as possible to keep them from getting sucked into these misogynistic and perverted online TRA/incel bubbles.

Edit: And I don't really like the bald guy's implication at the end that this may somehow be women's fault for choosing handsome men on Tinder (maybe a bit of MRA vibes from him). I'd rather they really analyze as to WHY these left behind men act out with violence when women in similar stations do not. The truth is probably somewhere in our biology/social conditioning that we refuse to confront.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAgUHyXr7_Y Really interesting clip with a lot of truth to it, IMO. They're discussing the problem of young males becoming increasingly more maladjusted to current society and technology and how it's creating violent, single, hateful young men. History has shown that countries with too many young, unattached men tend to be prone towards revolutions, war and violence. This is definitely a problem in the USA as we've seen with such easy access to guns and increasing numbers of mass shootings being done 99.9% of the time by men. As a mother of boys this resonates with me. Personally, I'm trying to avoid giving my kids any social media for as long as possible to keep them from getting sucked into these misogynistic and perverted online TRA/incel bubbles. Edit: And I don't really like the bald guy's implication at the end that this may somehow be women's fault for choosing handsome men on Tinder (maybe a bit of MRA vibes from him). I'd rather they really analyze as to WHY these left behind men act out with violence when women in similar stations do not. The truth is probably somewhere in our biology/social conditioning that we refuse to confront.

26 comments

Funny that he called out work from home being disastrous for men when the early industrialized world expected women to work from home (and still not consider her work as actual work).

Good point! Again, why is it bad for men but not bad for women? They never want to analyze the reasons behind why women in similar situations are not prone to such violence.

10% of the men get90% of the attention

Again, women who aren’t 18-25 and look like Instagram models simply are invisible

Many women want to meet men.

This guy’s observation in a Spring Break dive bar notwithstanding

10% of the men get 90% of the attention

The OkCupid data showed that women messaged men quite fairly, what was happening was that women were rating male appearance that way with only a small number being called attractive. It was the men spamming hot women with messages.

You get a very different grading system from women if you have in person set ups like speed dating. You get a standard distribution curve for men then.

We apparently need to see them move, hear them talk etc to make an accurate judgement.

Makes sense

Men can become handsome or fugly based on personality

YES. I was reading a thread on Twitter yesterday about "trad" men who supposedly want to marry nice, Christian girls who are willing to start a family, but can't find any. The woman who wrote that thread said that she actually knew several such women who fit the bill but couldn't get a date because they weren't "hot".

They want nice, Christian girls who also look like Fox News anchorbabes/Tomi Lahren/Lauren Southern. They don't want the actual churchgoing girl next door. Porn has made men feel entitled to celebrity-level and mostly artificial hotness, like they think that's what most women are like and what most men get. Most people are ordinary and these pornsick dumb fucks don't understand that. They're not entitled to anything, not even ordinary or ugly.

Yep. Looks like a beauty queen, effs like a porn star, cleans like a maid, cooks like a chef....

I really think porn has inflated men's sense of entitlement.

Yeah I noticed that. They ignore the questions as to WHY do these undesirable or "ugly" men become violent without partners meanwhile undesirable women are never shooting up places? I think it must be a social conditioning or biological difference between the two sexes, maybe a mix of both. Testosterone making young men resentful and violent combined with social conditioning that they society owes them and that men are entitled to having a woman. Meanwhile young women in similar predicaments hardly ever react in such a violent way and are ignored/taken for granted. There should be more research done into this. I suspect many men don't want to hear the truth though.

On a biological level, the Y chromosome is shot. I suspect men and women each have the capacity for violent behavior, but the ability to extrapolate potential results from actions (i.e., predicting consequences) is almost breathtakingly missing from males. As is the ability to plan ahead or logic a set of procedures in order to resolve a complex issue. Males, in general, live in the moment, floating carelessly from emotion to emotion. And as the vast majority of women enable this behavior, males so rarely face the consequences of this type of lifestyle that society as a whole doesn’t notice it until violent acts start to aggregate.

[–] Lavendersky 14 points Edited

how it's creating violent, single, hateful young men. History has shown that countries with too many young, unattached men tend to be prone towards revolutions, war and violence.

Wonder why it's single men who are more violent?

Because women absorb male violence. Men can unleash their violence on women in private to not do so in public, and this is viewed societally as a gain.

Men are telling us what they think of us, that we don't matter and that we're inferior. That we deserve to be used by them and disposed of. When will we listen to what they're saying and stop capitulating?

There is literally nothing we, as women, can do about this. Women have sacrificed ourselves to males and they have always been terrible. We refuse to do so and they are still terrible. We are irrelevant to these aspects of their behavior. They will only change if they want to. They don’t want to.

Now we can earn our own keep and own our own property we aren't being forced into marriage to shitty males, because single life is now possible.

The shitty quality males are now getting pissy because they can't get any. I don't think it's internet dating that's the issue, it's fact we can't be socially forced into pairing with them that's leaving a large chunk of men frustrated (in all kids of ways).

[–] nothefunkind 18 points Edited

I'm glad they discussed this. Like many of you, my mind goes straight to pornography and what it has done to men. Earlier today I was listening to the Meghan Murphy interview with Garett Jonsson about pornography addiction and its effects. He is a former addict who now speaks out against pornography with the organization Fight The New Drug. Anyhow, he cited several different psychologists and studies that sums up the fact that when someone is addicted to pornography, they are unable to reach any of their potential, since human beings must be genuine and have empathy in order to lead a fulfilled life. Porn use nearly always happens in secret, and studies show that sexual objectification cannot coexist with empathy - so this cuts off the porn user's ability to live 'genuinely', when they must hide their habits. We also know how much it destroys the ability to connect with people. So essentially, the porn industry is not only committing massive VAWG, it is also robbing men and boys of their chances to live a full life. I really, really grieve for our men and boys, as angry as I am that they continue to use pornography.

Anyhow i found his citations quite compelling, and I always learn something new when I listen to a former male porn addict who is now actively fighting the industry. Podcast link here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/garrett-jonsson-of-fight-the-new-drug-on-why-you/id1504029211?i=1000549030875

It struck me when Maher (who used to frequent Playboy mansion parties) was interviewing a female author who was promoting her book about modern sexuality (sadly, her name escapes me at the moment). And he admitted to her that the modern pornography is really scary, violent, and off putting to him. If someone like Maher is frightened by modern porn culture, you know its bad!

My two cents is that a lot of blame falls on porn and social media. It's psychologically "safer" in the short term for men to use porn than to try to cultivate a relationship with a woman because they're virtually guaranteed to get off and they don't risk rejection. In the long term, of course, it makes it harder to forge a genuine sexual and emotional connection with a woman.

As relationships increasingly move from in-person to online, it's just harder to meet people and make friends, let alone find a long-term partner. Dating apps encourage people to treat each other like commodities, and judge each other on a few superficial characteristics (that might not even be true). Meeting prospective partners through mutual friends allows you to assess a person's character and develop an attraction in a more organic way.

Side note: I liked the part where Maher says that women with degrees don't marry men with out the degrees, and (some of) the audience bursts into applause. I think a lot of women know that the "sad, single, forty-year-old cat lady" is a myth.

the "sad, single, forty-year-old cat lady" is a myth

The myth is that she’s sad! I know several single cat ladies, dog ladies and horse ladies and they seem to be quite content

Yes! To be clear, the sadness is a myth. I think women are very good at finding worthwhile projects to occupy their free time.

Dating apps are places where people go to have sex (actual intercourse) and sex adjacent activities like receiving nudes and sexting. Despite what the bald guy says, I have serious doubts that that huge number of men on dating apps who just aren’t pulling are actually there to attract women who will be wives and mothers. They are there to score a sexual interaction with the youngest, hottest woman they can get and not interested in the rest. Just like a bar. Men do not go to a bar and send drinks to 19 year old co-eds because they’re looking for a wife to be a lifelong companion and produce a crop of healthy children for the empire. They are looking for sex, and the raw natural sexual market for men is as brutal as it is for women (if not worse). The system of patriarchy where unattractive, ugly, old, malformed, addled and sexually inadequate men use money and property to bypass female selection by purchasing the most attractive girls and young women from their fathers is the closest thing to “mating equality” that has ever existed. The bald guy doesn’t outright suggest reintroducing it in the western world, but that’s where his logic leads and there are men who aren’t afraid to say it.

[–] Peppermint 6 points Edited

And I don't really like the bald guy's implication at the end that this may somehow be women's fault for choosing handsome men on Tinder

I also didn't like this implication. Instead of being a leader or making a suggestions to men on how to get together with women he blames the women. He gave the impression that these men are owed our bodies. Incels are the worst kind of male and he speaks like one. I saw another TV interview like this one a few months ago, the guy gave off the same implications. I'm wondering if it was the same guy.

In America, our elites have made swathes of our population superfluous for everything except empty consumption. They don't understand that people need a reason to live that isn't Netflix and chill and stuff your face with food.

There are so many people who would feel better about themselves and their communities if they could throw themselves into honest labor to build them. Why cant people be paid well to plant trees? Why can't they be paid well to farm food? Or tend to children? These are basics of civilization and we have been economically disincentivized from doing them.

This is not a recent phenomenon. Throughout history societies have produced an excess of restless and poorly socialized males that needed disposal lest they destabilize the royalty and society. Cultures had various ways of dealing with them. For some it was military conscription and endless border wars in a system called feudalism. For others it was the Merchant Marine, where they would have temporary liaisons with prostitutes. Some cultures had a system of essentially slavery or indentured servitude in which unattached males worked in labor camps and were supplied with cheap alcohol and prostitutes. In every case males were able to groove with each other in the absence of females, gratifying their inner need to bond over their masculinity while excluding women. But alas, our modern version of civilization considers these institutions as brutish and sexist.

Yeah, this isn't new. IIRC it's also why American football was invented just after the civil war to give the former soldiers something to do after.

Load more (1 comment)