My standards now revolve around health. I want my skin and hair to be healthy. I focus more on what I put in my body than what products I use on it.

Most of what I see of todays trends looks ridiculous to me. The clothes are really ugly and awful and the makeup is clownish.

I don't care what men think of me because I haven't met a man in my 5 decades who was worth the time of day as far as relationships go.

Focusing on beauty is focusing on trying to appeal to the male gaze and I no longer care about that.

I'm an older woman with a double mastectomy, and eyebrows and eyelashes that never completely came back after chemo.

My beauty standards include a little blush, a little penciled in eye brows, and Burt's Bees lip gloss when I want to look decent. I don't color my grey. The last time I wore a dress was at my daughter's wedding.

And I'm going to say this once, since I know what's coming.

You can fucking downvote me to oblivion, but until you've had a double mastectomy you have a lot of damn nerve criticizing my "femininity."

ETA - As a younger woman, I wore makeup, but I always felt I wore minimal makeup compared to most women in the south.

I stopped shaving my legs during the pandemic. Now I have full hair growth. It took a very long time to get used to it. I still don't really go bare legged in public much. I grew up with the sense that a woman showing leg hair was akin to showing her pubic hair, and I haven't fully shaken that feeling.

But I did have a positive change from not shaving. I got used to my natural skin. We grow up with so many commercials aimed at us, comparing our flesh to synthetic surfaces. Men don't suffer this. Most men are perfectly comfortable with their body hair, pores, scars, wrinkles, whatever. They are never pressured to make their skin look flawless.

When I stopped shaving, I stopped comparing myself to commercial images of women. I stopped feeling like I had to expose my skin to everyone, and that my skin had to be perfectly smooth and spotless.

I no longer view wrinkles or cellulite or whatever as flaws that have to be cured by a product or procedure. I just view it as part of the natural world.

I'm able to see more human beauty in other people too, because I'm no longer afraid of all the things I used to consider imperfections.

hahahahahaha! There are beauty standards?

(I am old. That's how I got here.)

I feel very very happy of how my family raised me. I am just sad of the majority of women that when they see their face don't register it as beautiful and on the contrary just notice all the deffects, its the opposite for me. I'll say I am average, yet when I look in the mirror I just feel beautiful. I see my joyous eyes I see my fair skin, I see the little creases that start to form below my eyes and in my cheecks as a product of all the hours in my life I spent laughting, all the things that make me happy now and all the things that would make me happy in the future, and I just smile even more. I am sad this is not the universal way of seeing things for women I wish I could share it, make every women see it the same way, because great majority of women are beautiful. I also think that if you are a great person, even if you are not the fairest, you would be always beautiful in some sense, because goodness shows outside of you in the light of your eyes or in the way your face moves. I'll say though I was raised in a unique family, my mother is a feminist, never I've seen her were make up, never made me "act as a girl" in anyway. My father is the same, if every men was like my father the world would be a paradise. He was very angry when I wanted to start epilating at 13 years old, yet my mother convinced him it would be okay. Five years later I stopped shaving. I sometimes wonder if I was uglier I would feel more pressure to be beautiful, because even if I am not the standart I fall into normal. I am not sure of the response but I think it would not change much for me. Even when my beauty decreased a little (I gained weight or had skin problems) I still found myself beautiful. In the end I am very focused on cultivating my moral virtues, my knowledge and my inteligence as I see this qualities as long lasting and useful and "beauty" (in the patriarchal sense) as fleeing and mostly useless.

I give zero shits about beauty standards. I'll give up my flannel, cargoes, and sensible shoes when you pry them out of my cold, dead hands. I earned each and every grey hair on my head; why would I want to erase that with dye? And shaving? I don't have time for that nonsense. Anyone who judges the way I look can fuck right off, because for me it's all about comfort, quality, and utility.

When I was 18 I joined the army. I was not allowed to wear make up for 6 months. I learned my face was presentable in public without make up. It was a shock. The same was true about having a simple, neat hairstyle. Thanks to the army, I learned that clean hair in a pony tail was good enough for my office job. When I was pregnant with my first child, shaving my legs became difficult so I quit. After giving birth I realized my leg hair was comfortable and natural. Armpits came later.

I will wear makeup when I choose and I choose only occasionally. I avoided foundation for decades. It seemed unnecessary to me unless I wanted to cover a blemish, then it required an entire covering to look okay and I hated the mismatched skin tone. It wasn’t worth the struggle. Women gave me the most grief about it when I was in my 20’s. The pressure to conform was strong. The audacity of me wearing my bare face in all its natural beauty vexed some women to no end. That sparked a rebellious streak in me.

Men complained about my leg hair. I’m very fair completed and the hair on my body is light and thin so it was never that obvious. If I wore shorts one man would make a loud negative comment, which means he was looking very closely. I urged them to shave some area of their thick, sweaty body hair before they tell me I’m unfit for public. My mood decided if it was their legs, chest or ass. Yes my husband didn’t care. No boy friend ever minded.

I care about how I look but I decide if it’s what’s important to me, not beauty standards. The only men that put down my looks are ugly little trolls that I wouldn’t give the time of day to much less place merit in their opinion. Women who tell me that wearing makeup is showing confidence get a withering look from me. My confidence seems to expose their insecurities. Some of those women have the determination to try to convince me that I’m the one lacking in self esteem because I don’t feel the need to paint myself to appeal to the male gaze, that I dare to be the highest authority on my opinion of my best appearance. Everyone has to find their own way.

But what I focus on may not be what another does. Sometimes people suggest hairstyles or clothing that I think is unflattering. I don’t know what they are thinking when they insist it would look nice on me. No idea.

My mother was a very beautiful woman and rarely work make up or special hair styles. So I grew up free of pressure from such things from my primary example of womanhood. The pressure came entirely from society and marketing.

I hate them, I always have, and yet even as a 50 year old, I still feel like a complete ugly witch and an idiot when I don't meet up with them. There is no way for me to do so and never has been - I'm tall and muscular and the opposite of the cute little blonde girl the media seems to love so much. Add CSE into the mix and I deliberately made myself as 'ugly' and unapproachable as possible, partly because i loved how it looked (I still do), and partly because it kept some men the hell away from me. Not a perfect dick-away-spray, but it was kind of useful. I still look like a weirdo (think old hippy crossed with football punk), I still much prefer how I look, but I still find myself wishing I was small and pretty sometimes. Why? I don't know. To be attractive to men whom I have no interest in? it makes no sense. Just the general media zeitgeist of 'your life will be so much easier and people will be nicer to you if you look this way', I suppose, even though I know that's an impossible lie.

I really hate how the beauty industry has us chasing something unattainable. it's always 'celebrating' some new twist, whether it's big backsides, skin pigmentation issues, unusual eye colouring, strange hairstyles, or something else - there's always something we're supposed to wish we had but have to feel sad about that we're not as perfect as the woman on the tv (so we should buy the product to feel better). Make up is a mask that you only take off at the end of the night, I've always found it utterly pointless. I have no interest in lying about my face. Can't handle my face without makeup? Go somewhere else. I don't need skin creams that cost a fortune and have long lists of ingredients and things it doesn't contain too. Simple coconut oil is fine if my skin is dry. All the dieting and exercise in the world never changed my tall and muscular frame. I know what clothes fit me well and suit my shape, so the new fashion is mostly pointless. I know all this, yet I still feel like I'm a failure at being female or beautiful sometimes. It's very frustrating, but I suspect very common too.

I couldn't wait to get to 50 when I thought I wouldn't need to give a damn about beauty standards any more. Big colourful dresses and a purple rinse, sensible shoes and a shopping trolley, perfect for me. Now I discover I'm supposed to live up to beauty standards even as an 'ageing woman', even though the media forgot I existed 25 years ago? Yeah, no thanks. Pass my cardigan.

I don't like my appearance bc I'm not attractive but it doesn't upset me anymore because I realized that I should look at it from an objective perspective

Yeah I'm unattractive but I'm not gonna feel bad about it because it's just my genetics. I can't do anything about it that doesn't cost thousands of dollars.

Beauty is very objective and once I understood this I stopped having a victim mindset about it and realized it's just biology, that nobody is judging me unfairly about my appearance.

I dislike my face but like my body

Part of disliking my face is thinking I’ve ruined it with alcohol. In part I just hate the alcohol

I could wear makeup but then I get used to the makeup and dislike my face more.

Oh well. Married and over 50

I used to be very focused on 'beauty standards' and especially how much I did not live up to them. So I was diligent in my 'invisible' makeup routine and made sure all the clothes I wore were very attractive and complementary to my form.

Then I did a big 180 after health issues became a part of my life.

I now don't give a rat's ass what anybody thinks about the way that I look. I have to remind myself to brush my hair most days and the only things I wear are comfortable.

This new perspective is without a doubt some of the greatest amount of freedom I have felt as an adult.

Irrelevant to my life. I don't pay attention to them. I don't participate in them.

For me, I didn't have to get to that place. That's where I started. I was an extremely GNC kid who grew into a GNC adult. I never developed interest in femininity or beauty rituals, and no one ever expected me to.

I'm in my 40s now, and while I still have a conventionally attractive face and recent weight loss has been inching me closer to a more conventionally attractive body, I don't worry about it as much as a I did when I was younger. Western culture insists that women do things that systematically destroy their beauty because FOMO. Then, you're expected to cover it all up because you don't want people to think you're sick or tired...even if you are sick and tired, and then going for chemical and surgical interventions when the makeup doesn't camouflage aging. And social media has young women thinking they need to look like drag queens to be beautiful when all that clown makeup looks so gross and crusty in real life, and then you have to use a 20-step skin care regimen to chisel it all off to attempt to save your skin from the damage.

At this point, the beauty standard seems to be 1) whatever it is you're not and 2) whatever it is the algorithm churns up and spews in your face, and 3) whatever you're willing to spend money on. There was a time when I was "hot," or at least, put in the work to do what it takes to be considered hot. It didn't make me happy, and it didn't attract things that made me happy, and my skin was a mess. In my 40s, I found a style that works with what I have naturally, and it requires far less work than I used to put into my face and hair.

Plus, so many people use their phones to take pictures of themselves and those cameras have a wall eye quality to them, so selfies rarely show someone as they truly are even without filters or augmentation.

I don't have a problem attracting men. Most women don't - you will whether you want to or not. I don't seem to fit the beauty stand in my own culture because I'm not exotic looking enough in my own culture, but I fit the beauty standard of other cultures, and in those cultures, I'm not expected to order just the salad.

Trying to lose weight but otherwise not too bothered. My husband thinks I am hot. I have long hair but don’t wear makeup. I wear soft stretchy clothes like fitted ts, skirts, leggings, velvet, rayln, silk or other soft materials. I am a SAHM. This gives me flexibility and I can pick clothes I find comfortable and beautiful.

While nursing I switched to the Unbra and never went back

I don't give a fig for beauty standards or practices. I go out in sweats, jeans, hoodies, and flannels. I do enjoy dresses but they're pretty utilitarian too. Skater dresses with a cardigan. Nothing I own is chic or attention grabbing. I do enjoy health and hygiene though. I walk or jog daily and lift weights occasionally. I wash and deep condition my hair twice a week and wash my face most evenings. I brush and floss twice a day, sometimes more if I have time. Never any make up, dye, or heat treatments. Lip balm as needed. I keep my nails neatly manicured and sometimes paint them with a subtle nail concealer. I love my face. I look a lot younger than I am and I realize how lucky I am for that. I think I'll still love my face when it starts to show my age too though. Once upon a time I used makeup and hair dye and the more I did the more I felt I needed to, that old story. I got here from being used and hurt by men. The more men I met, the more who hurt me, the more I resented their attention. I'm old enough they mostly leave me alone, and I love myself more than ever.

"It's complicated."

I grew up in Southern California in the 1980's and the beauty standards were heavy-hitting. There was a very narrow channel of acceptable appearance, and it seemed to be policed by both men and women.

Growing up I fell out of these standards hard. I had horrifically awful acne that begun when I was 12, I grew out instead of up first when I hit puberty so I was a chunky thing with large boobs while everyone else was coltish and lithe, and I have very pale skin that doesn't tan so that was right out too. My parents were also absolutely against anything popular in a very hippieish way, so I wasn't allowed to wear clothes or styles that were "cool." I faced quite a lot of bullying due to not meeting the fashion and appearance requirements of the day.

As an adult I've learned better how to craft my appearance to be appealing in a more alternative/classic fashion. I don't follow trends unless they're flattering to me and feel no FOMO about them if they're not. I've been both quite attractive and very not attractive as an adult, and to be honest, I prefer being attractive.

I have not really been able to unpack my relationship with performing femininity. I'd like to think I enjoy makeup (I have a whole wall of a collection and wear at least eyeshadow daily) entirely for myself as often stated by women, but I'm not sure that's true. I'd like to think I keep my weight strictly under control for my health, but I'm also not sure that's true. I'm in a male dominated jeans-and-tee-shirt career, but I tend to wear skirts and heels... does this mean I'm dressing for the job I want in the clothes I like or a pick-me? I'm not sure.

On the other hand I'm committed to aging gracefully. I don't dye out my prominent grey streaks, I will not be getting any plastic surgery "correction" of signs of aging. I shudder at the thought. Since I was an abject failure at beauty standards in my formative years though, I purposefully endeavored to make myself interesting to people in other ways than looks, and I hope those aspects will continue to make me "attractive" as we as a cohort all fall out of the beauty standards bucket as we advance in age.

To wrap up, I've also seen beauty standards change through the years enough to really not care about hitting one or another trend. It will just be something else later, and all that lip filler will have to go in your eyebrows or something ridiculous. (Hell, my eyebrows have gone in and out of fashion at least three times in the past 10 years.) However, I do have an internal need to maintain attractiveness, and I haven't been able to unpick that knot yet.

I’m starting to get a little saggy and wrinkly. Which is weird. I don’t feel like I’m old enough to be wrinkly. But overall I don’t spend much time thinking about my appearance or beauty standards or trying to be more attractive which was the goal when I stopped wearing makeup and shaving. I’m at a place where I really love myself and feel comfortable in my own skin most of the time.

I was mostly raised by my dad who has always treated me like a human being so I grew up with few gendered expectations and restrictions. I've never worn makeup, shaved (despite being quite hairy for women of my ethnicity), or even pierced my ears. My mom wants me to be a bit more feminine, but she doesn't wear makeup or shave either, so I've never learned all those beauty rituals. I'm also generally pretty frugal and an environmentalist, so have always regarded beauty practices with disdain. Excessive attention to appearance represents a moral failing to me, and besides, contemporary beauty standards are downright hideous aesthetically.

I stopped beating myself up about my looks when I looked back on my old photos and realized how conventionally pretty I was even though, at the time, I was too hung up on perceived flaws to see it.

I think I have my own standards now. Some of them accord with the conventional ones (like I can't kick the habit of shaving legs and underarms, idk I guess I'm not brave enough and also my leg hair is quite dark), and some of them... I really don't like the fashionable beauty standards these days, I'm not going to tattoo my eyebrows on, I can't be bothered doing a full face of drag makeup (slight exaggeration, but it kind of looks that way) when it's just going to get rained on or cried off. I actually haven't worn makeup daily since before covid, and even then it was a 3-product minimal makeup routine that took me less than 5 mins, because I like sleep more than I like painting my face. I'm lazy, I suppose, and I'm lucky to have good skin.

I was feeling really down on myself because I'd gained weight and felt like a whale, so I have been dieting for the first time in my life, and it turns out it's not as terrible as all that, so far hasn't consumed my entire life, I've lost weight and my clothes fit me again, which was all I wanted. But I'm not going to join a gym and take up pilates and cultivate a thigh gap or a bubble butt or whatever the thing is right now. I might take up swimming or yoga again and try to get stronger and improve my posture though.

I used to care a lot more what people thought I looked like. I think I've reached a point now where I accept I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea and that's fine, I feel comfortable in myself. And to be honest, I'd rather people relate to me as a person and not the exterior, if you see what I mean? The exterior will change as time passes, but who I am as a person remains constant.

I have stopped shaving and it feels SO GOOD. No more caring about rashes or redness! I was quite self conscious in the beginning wearing shorts but now I am so comfortable. I stopped wearing heels and have lesser foot pain. Now I only wear makeup when I'm forced by my family but 90% of the time I am without it and it feels lovely. I am more focused on my health now and making my body stronger. So for me after reading radem theory, everything improved.

I like putting on makeup because it’s fun and because I avoided the negative connotations most women had with it due to an unusual upbringing. However weirdly lately I’ve actually not wanted to put it on, but BECAUSE I feel I look more conventionally attractive without it. I’ve always been told makeup makes me and every woman uglier, but I never cared because colors on face is fun. But now I do care and I’m not sure why. It happened very suddenly, too. Now I’m in this weird place where I still do the colorful bits but the more relaxing and methodical steps like foundation I skip so I can still look sort of pretty plus colors on face. I don’t like it. I miss not caring about how others perceived me. And I haven’t had the courage to do an alternative look in awhile, which I do pretty regularly.