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18 comments

Goodness me. The obvious answer is "don't be friends with people whose wrath fear in case you accidentally speak truth".

What do the replies on preddit say?

Since misgendering is genocide, he shouldn't worry. If he'd misgendered them, they'd be dead by now.

(This is sarcasm, just in case anyone can't tell)

"I'm terrified of my male friends' reactions if I were to call them male"

[–] SakuraBlossoms transheight 7'3" 20 points

Convincing yourself 2+2=5 is hard. In 1984 they had to use torture to achieve this...

i hate this sort of thing because it's pushing against intuition which i truly believe is a valuable and overlooked skill in our modern lives. society does this to women and children very often. for instance being told "just be nice to (creepy) uncle whats-his-name, he has never done anything bad to you, go give him a hug even though he gives you the creeps and makes your alarm bells GO OFF". i feel like so many women have just been taught to suppress this great tool we've been given (intuition) and gender does not help one bit.

Hm, maybe all this is because autistic (and/or just socially awkward and inept) tech bros gained cultural ascendency and are looking to quash these forms of human communication and behavior that they don't understand. They think they're some kind of superior logic machine (though they continue to have very human blind spots to their own logical inconsistencies and deficiencies) and probably think the parts of their lives that still suck because they can't hold a conversation or make friends will be improved if all the other broken machines are brought into compliance with their spec.

i took a while to think about this, and i'm not sure, but i do think you have something there in some sense. i'm diagnosed autistic (as an early adult) myself so i feel like i have to defend others in a way, but i do think you've made some good points. i'm not a particularly logical or intelligent person myself and the whole autism = intelligence thing really makes me annoyed (not that you said that, but that's something that people put on autistic women or wish to think about themselves). i feel like so many autistic men are coddled and not taught things that they need to be taught and willfully lean into it. i feel like all people can have intuition and cultivate it as a skill, it might just manifest differently. i hope that made sense. :)

You are so right! There are huge forces trying to prevent women and children from knowing what we know.

Read The Gift of Fear if you haven't already.

i'm gonna check it out! thanks for the recommendation. turns out my mum owns it! she's big on intuition and feelings and a big inspiration to me, so no wonder. :)

What is wrong with this idiot? You can’t misgender them when you are speaking TO them. You don’t use third person pronouns when you’re speaking to someone! God. Am I missing something?

[–] GCRadFem 4 points

What does he want? Trans forgiveness of course. The most important forgiveness of them all. The associated karma is just an afterthought, I’m sure. 🙄

[–] no- [OP] 3 points Edited

Image transcription: r/asktransgender

I'm terrified of misgendering my friends

I have two mtf friends and I didn't know they were trans when we first met (they don't present as obviously femme).

I feel like my brain is now programmed to see them as male, and I find myself obsessively thinking back through what I've said to them anytime we speak, just in case I've accidentally used male pronouns. I don't know if they'd correct me if I slipped up, and they shouldn't have to.

I don't really know what I hope to gain by posting this, I just really don't have anyone I can voice this to.

Archive link.

[–] hmimperialtortie 🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈 10 points Edited

Why is anyone friends with these freakishly degenerate men?

It helps you gain WokePoints™.

There’s also this weird thing I noticed among many of my friends who grew up upper middle class (and white). They end up behaving “extra woke” as some weird atonement for their life of relative privilege. Instead of taking any real actions that could help those less fortunate or actually acknowledging their role in perpetuating toxic hierarchies that they benefitted from, they just make a million rainbow Facebook posts, boast about how they let their kids dress in clothes/play with toys that are not gender specific, or bragging about supporting their local drag story time. 💩

[–] hmimperialtortie 🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈 0 points

Which are worth nothing, because they can’t be banked against the inevitable Cancelling For Transphobia every handmaiden will face.