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Honestly, divorce him for cheating on you (the app) and lying to you about it alone.
In a way I don’t blame her because no way would I want to divorce when I have two very young children, but it’s only going to get worse.
[Deleted]August 18, 2023
It's great timing for him, though, to cheat and lie when there are two very young children in the picture, ie, sunk cost for her.
Good point. We know abuse goes way up during pregnancy. Would not surprise me if pregnancy and first few years of childhood were prime cheating years for men.
Honestly the children are the biggest reason to get divorced. This man is obviously not pulling his weight with parenting since he's got two tiny kids and still has time to be watching porn and trying to cheat on his wife
This is an example of a useless scrote
Hell, app or no app, divorce for demanding stuff in bed. Absolutely a no go
The audacious (and I don’t use this word lightly) gaslighting is infuriating. No, honey, I’m not hiding anything from you, ignore the weird porn, the degenerate sex acts I’m attempting in bed, the Google searches, the dating app. Where could you be getting these crazy ideas from?
BigMeanieAugust 18, 2023
Never have children unless fully prepared to be a single mother. I mean FULLY prepared. Don’t count on child support. Don’t count on shared custody easing the burden.
Any relationship with a man requires an escape plan. It’s just how things are. If you MUST have live-in dick and somehow manage to convince yourself it’s jUsT sO rOMaNtiC ~ swoon ~, have your escape plan pragmatically mapped out in advance and regularly audit said plan if/as circumstances change.
I hope she has an out.
TheExorcistofLiesAugust 19, 2023
Absolutely. I’m married, but the key is, knowing male nature, you can’t trust him 100%. You just can’t. Because that’s how women completely let go and bury their heads in the sand if something happens. My Nigel is acutely aware that I have zero problem dumping him the second he gets jiggy with any typical male BS: disrespect, porn addiction, abuse, cheating, control and jealousy etc. If he never gets jiggy, then there will be no problem. I couldn’t care less about the “stigma” of being twice divorced.
So I’ve already been divorced once and have no problem doing it again and this time more ruthless, because one thing I learned from divorcing my ex was that a lot of the dragging-out, and agonizing, the indecision- it was mostly my own overthinking mind, sunk cost fallacy and naïve hopes, along with allowing societal pressure to stay married get in my head. It sounds flippant to say “divorce really isn’t as big a deal as you think” but years out with hindsight, I’d urge other women that it really isn’t.
It really truly isn't. I love your attitude. I feel horrible for all women stuck in relationships bc of societal pressurr
SufferingSuffragetteAugust 19, 2023
This right here. My mom and dad had an alright relationship given the circumstances and he dropped dead when I was 4 leaving her high and dry. Thankfully my grandma pulled my head out of her ass (her and my mom were quite strained at the time from surprise-surprise my gmas ex-husband) and stepped up to help us.
sojourner_truth_August 18, 2023
Men have rarely had such sexual temptations all around them, so easy to indulge in and so hard to escape from. Porn, dating apps, all of it is just irresistible for a weak willed creature controlled totally by his balls.
If society is going to have stable families, we need to find a solution to these problems. We need to ban porn for a start, and crack down severely on prostitution.
This woman is suffering so much and being divorced with 2 tiny kids is no easy situation. Staying with this guy is not an option either. Especially if he's going to trans himself on the down low- he'll be bringing home some diseases to infect his wife with. And if he continues down the porn and trans path, he will develop more and extreme fetishes, including pedophilia. Even if he personally takes a long time to get there, he could bring his new trans "friends" around his kids and we know what happens next as we've seen it before in other cases.
His sexual depravity has real life destroying cababilities, not only for himself but for everyone around him.
chocolatefondant21August 18, 2023
When I see someone use the term “cishet” I already want to tune out.
[Deleted]August 18, 2023
I'm almost laughing at the outright audacity of this man to deny all this evidence. Gee, maybe it was the toddler who just wanted to vibe out their dating options on Her!
Ma'am, you're feeling "lost" because your dearest hubby gaslit you into the sun amidst a mountain of evidence and red flags. Ugh, I feel so bad for these women who partnered with these creeps.
NotASupportHumanAugust 18, 2023
I get that she is in a rough situation but the following: "his porn searches have invariably included trans women for years" would be enough for me to have sent him packing before having children and certainly before the second (if discovered post first baby).
No fucking thank you on all fronts.
Post title: > Husband may be closeted and I don’t know what to do
Post body: > Hi - there’s a lot of context I could provide but in the interest of brevity I will stick to the most crucial points:
- my husband and I are in a cishet relationship with two children - one is a toddler and one is a newborn
- his porn searches have invariably included trans women for years
- I recently (accidentally) found the Google search “am I trans?” in his browser history
- I recently found a few emails indicating he signed up for the HER app under the name “Alia”, confronted him and he denied it completely
- he recently purchased buttplugs for himself behind my back, used one while we were having sex unbeknownst to me, and when I asked him about it, it came out that he is unfulfilled by my sex and wants to be more submissive and wants more ass play done on him
I have outright asked him if he thinks he’s trans or gay. He laughs it off and says it’s ridiculous. But I can’t shake the feeling and I truly don’t know what to do, given that we have two small children.
I’m just feeling very lost and I don’t know what to do. I would honor who he is but I likely wouldn’t stay in the relationship and am afraid he’ll never come out and I’ll be stuck in a marriage with someone who does not want me.
Does it sound like my suspicions are correct?
[Deleted]August 18, 2023
[Deleted]August 18, 2023
a top reply to this post
"When I came out to my wife, when we had a toddler and a newborn"
these fucking degenerates
hope this lady escapes with her children to safety
Degenerate pervert was jealous of the attention the wife was showing the babies and decided to reveal his true colors.