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I've literally never done this even as a child with my closest female friend.
The community note is so damn funny to me
VestalVirginApril 5, 2024
And, like, why would you?
Teenage girls may occasionally borrow each other's clothes, because they are the demographic simultaneously most interested in their appearance, while at the same time having the least disposable income to buy clothes. Borrowing a friend's cool new jeans for a party is something a teen girl might do.
But underwear? It doesn't get seen, so why would you borrow an item of underwear, even apart from hygiene reasons?
(Teen girls should not be having sex, imho, but if they do, they most certainly don't need sexy underwear to seduce teen boys.)
Only reason I can think of for "borrowing" someone else's clean underwear is for emergencies when your own underwear has been soiled in a public place, and another trusted female friend or family member has a spare change of clothing.
Like it's only for utility and convenience out of desperation, never for "funsies."
Even then, I would tell the person that i lent to, to feel free to toss/dispose of the undergarment rather than wash and return to me lol. I say this as a low-income person. 😂
VestalVirginApril 5, 2024
Yeah, utility and desperation.
There's zero overlap between the kind of "girl" TIMs like to imagine themselves as (rich, owning lots of clothes, plenty leisure time to do their nails) and the kind of girl or woman who might regularly wear underwear previously worn by another woman (living in abject poverty, zero time or money for nail polish and lipstick)
Also, women who have to wear used (but washed with boiling water!) underwear do their best to not think about it having been worn by someone else, while TIMs ... do nothing but think about who previously wore the underwear they play dressing up in.
GrayApril 5, 2024
This is exactly it! Sharing underwear is a natural ick that most normal humans would be disgusted by, even if we do it in desperate emergencies, it still feels disgusting. It’s most certainly not “euphoria inducing” or a “turn-on”.
I hate TIMs. 🤢 Like all they have to do is keep their fetishes to themselves and stop forcing the public to hear about them. Is it really so hard to do that? 😭
It is a general male problem, I think.
They have zero empathy, so don't even realize that what they are saying might make others less inclined to like them.
(I am not sure how domestic abusers, some of whom are extremely smart when it comes to deceiving their victims, fit into this. Are they genetic outliers? Did they train themselves and were just ordinary shitty boyfriends at age 16?)
Like, I am autistic, so I'm proud of myself when I look at someone and can tell "Yeah, this person is five seconds away from starting to cry! Yay me for noticing. Should I pat their shoulder? Hmmm, that does not seem the wisest course of action, I don't like it when strangers do that to me."
Many men seem to lack the thought process where you put yourself into the other person's shoes and consider, abstractly, what another person might think of your actions. That thought process is something I do a lot because I am crap at noticing in the moment when someone is pissed off by my actions.
Though, thinking about it, many men I have met also lacked the ability to notice that I was pissed off with them in the aftermath of their ill-advised words or actions. (Not all. But quite a few. I never notice this with women. I think I met two or so women who were more socially clueless than I am, over a lifetime. Tops. Both of them adjusted my clothing despite being strangers, now that I think about it. An action that would have been borderline acceptable had they been my mom.)
Idk, perhaps criminal and abusive men learn empathy for the sole reason of deceiving others?
The average male seems incapable of realizing that "Most people do not like to have pervy fetishes forced on them, so perhaps I should not talk about my wish to do that in public."
(Men also seem incapable of seeing that "NotAllMenning" makes them unattractive to women. It is puzzling.)
istaraApril 5, 2024
Also there are many men with a fetish for used underwear (male and female underwear) - I'm not sure this is ever recorded in women?
They even had a vending machine in Japan where you could buy "schoolgirls' worn knickers" and I've read of "sweaty socks" and used male underwear being traded on eBay - I'm quite sure the market for that is gay men not straight women.
and I've read of "sweaty socks" and used male underwear being traded on eBay - I'm quite sure the market for that is gay men not straight women.
As someone who's had to fold men's intimate laundry when it's clean and cringed at the stains found thereon even after washing, there's no use I could imagine any woman having for it while still in its soiled state 🤢
the kind of girl or woman who might regularly wear underwear previously worn by another woman (living in abject poverty, zero time or money for nail polish and lipstick)
I always look at the underwear rack at the thrift store with mortified disbelief and thank my lucky stars I'm not that desperate.
istaraApril 5, 2024
Even then, I find myself uncomfortable at the thought of wearing another woman's clean underwear. Even if I were perfectly assured of her hygiene and good laundry practices.
I wonder why that is? It's quite a deep-rooted feeling. And absolutely the inverse of the male fetish for "borrowing" it (let alone the 100% male fetish for used underwear).
Suspect aside from thoughts of it being unclean, some of it is that it's just so personal and so intimate. It's something deeply private, even beyond what friends typically share.
I get a similar squicked out feeling to imagining wearing someone else's underwear when I think of them wearing mine. Related but slightly different feeling thinking of rummaging through someone's underwear drawer and examining/handling what's in there, or handling someone's used (but cleaned) sex toys. It feels prurient, like a violation. Imagine that's what TIMs and all-purpose perverts like about it, that it's like touching the women there by proxy, doing something forbidden.
Onna_XXApril 5, 2024
I think it's just a human reaction to not wanting to sit in filth, of course underwear is going to pick up your own discharge, and other bodily fluids (even if you are a very clean person, who wipes thoroughly), it's the point of underwear, but coming into contact with someone else's is a very avoidable situation - don't wear their underwear. I'm sure men (without this fetish) are also grossed out by the thought of borrowing their friends boxers for the same reasons.
The men with a fetish for this stuff probably get off to the fact that it's a taboo, and against normal behavior/instinct.
GrayApril 5, 2024
Exactly. If I had a sister or a twin, I would be equally icked out at the thought of intentionally wearing her underwear instead of mine, as I am at the idea of wearing clean underwear once worn by my mother or grandmother. To wear a female friend’s clean but not brand new undergarments? That grosses me out SO much that I know I would have to be in a desperate, urgent situation to be willingly doing that.
It’s because women don’t seem to fetishize the act of wearing or using another person’s used clothing the way that mean do.
I doubt biological women with foot fetishes (if they exist) are interested in used socks worn by men or other women they were attracted to. But there’s weird men who are into it. I think it’s partly the effect of pornography.
legitimatewrenApril 5, 2024
I have definitely had this experience as a young teen visiting my best friend and having an unexpected period, but there is absolutely no other time I would ever.
Even then, I would tell the person that i lent to, to feel free to toss/dispose of the undergarment rather than wash and return to me lol. I say this as a low-income person. 😂
Yes, exactly. There has been precisely one instance in my life that approximates someone "borrowing" my underwear, but it was actually a pair I'd never worn before (a two pack of specialty kind of which I had only thus far worn one) and I told her to please keep them, I didn't want them back. Also quite poor, and they were expensive specialty underwear, but I don't think I'd ever have worn them again anyways.
MaryDyerApril 5, 2024
Not even as a child with my own SISTER! If we ever had, it would have been an error on my dad’s part for being clueless while folding laundry and putting our undies in the wrong piles lol
penguin-catApril 5, 2024
I need community notes on all social media
Imagine it on reddit comments though
GrayApril 5, 2024
Many of the community notes I’ve seen on Twitter/X previously have been biased toward gender ideology views rather than against it though. I’m actually surprised that this community note was allowed!
I clicked on the tweet itself, but this community note does not show for me under this tweet, so I hope that it has not been removed though!
If we had this on reddit, it’d be even more biased towards gender ideology, I bet! :(
hellamomzillaApril 5, 2024
That post screamed, “Don’t actually know ANY GIRLS OR WOMEN.” So, good on the woman who made that note.
Yup! Only time I've "shared" underwear was with my mum or grandmother when one of us was out of clean laundry (we were poor), but each and every time, i was icked out at having to wear someone else's undies and just as icked out at having someone else borrow mine!
Sharing underwear is for emergencies or for poor people. It's not "normal" or a desirable behavior.
If we had clean undergarments of our own during those urgent moments, my mother, grandmother, and myself would've all chosen to not share underwear or clothing ever. It's just common sense. 😭
GrayApril 5, 2024
To add on, the only reason that my mother and grandmother weren't as "icked out" as I always was about it, was purely because they've sadly experienced much worse conditions when living in the villages that they came from.
In recent years, even my mother is icked out now by the idea of borrowing my clean underwear, because we have enough money now that it's normalized for us to not share clean laundry anymore now! We have our own clothes!
MegasaurusApril 6, 2024
Women are much more likely to have a disgust response than men are. Men are less easily disgusted and are infinitely more likely to find stuff erotic that other people find repulsive. Think about how many men have fetishes for diapers, shit, vomit, etc. These are almost exclusively male paraphilias.
Committing_TerveryApril 5, 2024
Lmao, love these community notes.
Also, yeah… women & girls don’t do that shit, it’s fucking gross and also unnecessary.
AlwaysOrdduApril 5, 2024
Well, having disaster periods that crop up unexpectedly for most of my life, I have occasionally borrowed a clean pair of underwear from my mother while visiting from out of town and caught in a miserable situation. Note the emergent situation in the scenario and the closeness of parties involved.
"Girls" however, do not borrow each other's underpants. Who would even think that, and for what purpose? Also, underwear comes in a range of sizes. I doubt that my girlfriends would enjoy swimming around in my plus size briefs any more than I would enjoy attempting to strangle my legs with their smaller ones.
Men are depraved and will sexualize literally anything.
Also, underwear comes in a range of sizes.
Right? I'd be out of luck for borrowing underwear from my mom because I'd not fit in hers nor would she fit in mine.
GenderHereticApril 6, 2024
Man mansplaining to women that they're wrong and he knows more about their own lives than they do.
AlagraApril 5, 2024
I am damn close with people, amd the closest I've come to this is letting a friend borrow a spare bathing suit so she could swim with us. That's it. No we do not share underwear
WrennApril 5, 2024
And I distinctly remember whenever this happened (more than once because I grew up in Florida) - we always wore our underwear under the borrowed swimsuits , and went home commando ….
LOriginedumondeApril 5, 2024
This is so disgusting. As a hard partying teenager I would often stay over at a friend’s place impromptu without the forethought to bring a fresh pair of underwear with me before going out, and I’d just go commando the next day, even if I woke up to my period after a night of sloppy drunkenness.
kassandraApril 6, 2024
I always carried 2 pairs of underwear in my first and second years of college, and two plastic grocery bags - one to throw the clean ones into and one for the dirty ones.
delicate_silicateApril 5, 2024
This guy steals underwear. Sam Brinton is that you?!
VestalVirginApril 5, 2024
The depressing thing is, there's so many men with that perversion that we cannot identify Sam Brinton by that alone. (Ah, what a beautiful world it would be if there were only one such pervy man in all of the US, and perhaps another perv in Europe, and no more!)
GenevieveApril 6, 2024
I won't even borrow a friend's lipstick. I accidentally used my SO's toothbrush once and I was sick for days (in my own head and made it physical, not actually sick due to anything being wrong!). I won't even wear brand new underwear without running it through a wash cycle first.
I've had impromptu sleepovers and declined washcloths and just used soap and my hands, because even in my own home with my SO regardless if they've been washed, the washcloths are used to clean your body and intimate areas so just, NO. Maybe in an actual emergency, but even then, if it's such an emergency, underwear is the least of my worries.
GrayApril 6, 2024
Relatable! I don’t even use other people’s handtowels in their homes. Partly because I don’t see the point to them when I can just wipe my clean hands with a clean paper towel or on my already clean shirt lol.
But mostly because even the idea of sharing handtowels across multiple people even for cleaned hands has always seemed odd to me ever since I learned that shared handtowels hanging there in bathrooms was a common thing in other people’s homes.
GenevieveApril 9, 2024
Paper towels are a staple in the bathroom when we have guests over! Along with removing toothbrushes from the sink area becasue not everyone shuts the toilet lid to flush.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣gasp 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂wheeze🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭🤣
FeministunderyrbedApril 5, 2024
Did the note get deleted? I went back to the original tweet but I don’t see it.
FeministunderyrbedApril 5, 2024
Here is the link — delete if not allowed. https://twitter.com/CaraPac46808618/status/1775170209248117149
somegenerichandleApril 5, 2024
That user is a TIM in case anyone wanted to make sure like me..
WitchPleaseApril 5, 2024
OMG, he's insisting on it in the replies! Only transphobes are denying this, apparently, and the transphobes are the ones fetishizing underwear... It's hilarious!
So then, the only reason women don't have the experience of sharing our underwear is... transphobia. I guess it's true that everything is transphobia 🙄
OpusDeiApril 6, 2024
This is so bonkers. I have never known anyone to borrow underwear...obviously that doesn't mean it's never happened, but it's absolutely not a common thing at all??? I would imagine it only happening under very specific, rare circumstances, that would be in like an emergency/desperate situation, not something casually you might do like borrow clothes.
UNDERWEAR FETISH IS A TYPICAL MALE SEXUAL PARAPHILIA
WHICH ONE OF YOU
She may not even be from ovarit. Gc women are everywhere, just too afraid to say something.
Idk but I love her.
I wish I could take the credit