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Need Advice or SupportMy best friend killed herself, I'm so lost
So, the title says it all. On the morning of August 9 she hanged herself in her dad's living room. She was 30.
I've been in a fog. All the days are mixed up together and feel like a really long, horrible day. After the funeral I wasn't able to eat or sleep but I'm managing now and I just feel so fucking guilty of feeling anything remotely positive because she can't feel anything at all anymore. I'm devastated. She was an amazing woman, so smart, so talented, so loving. A true punk, a rebel, she was starving because she wanted to eat the world and couldn't. I can't believe she's gone.
There's so much and so little to say about it so I'll go straight to my.. question? Now that I'm crying a little less often (which feels terrible too) I am looking around, reading about grief. I want to know that it it possible to keep on living after this kind of loss, even though right now I feel like killing myself too to go with her.
So... I wanted to ask here if anyone has had this happen to them. Has any of you lost your best friend to suicide?
I could really use people telling me how they've managed to continue living after this. How it feels months, years after it happened. I.. I don't know I'm just so fucking sad and so fucking lost. My heart is more broken than it has ever been.
I've been feeling this hard lately. Liberals hate me. Conservatives hate me. But if my actions lead to a better future for at least one girl out there it's worth it.
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