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My sister committed suicide some years ago while trying to escape from an abusive relationship. When she died, I remember my first thought was that her abuser had killed her, and I said to the police that it must be him, somehow he must have done it. I held a long resentment against her abuser who then tried to manipulate and emotionally abuse my family after her death, putting us through hell, but eventually, let go of a lot of the anger.
A while ago, the abuser's daughter got in touch with my family and asked to know what really happened with my sister, suspecting that her father was not a good man. The daughter had been very close to my sister. I was brutally honest with her about what her father had done. She immediately disowned her father, refusing all contact. He was diagnosed with a terminal illness and she refused to see him. Today, he died in pain without her.
I really hope that the daughter won't regret her resentment towards her father, and not seeing him before he died. I know that my sharing the truth with her influenced her decision to do that (but I will add, she suspects that he abused her mother too but does not know for sure).
As for me, I am sitting here happy that he died alone, and in pain, after all the misery he caused to my sister, and to other women too I am sure. I had thought that I had let go of most of my ill will towards him, but when I found out he had died, I was over the moon, so apparently not.
I thought I would share this here because some of you might relate in some way, and it's not something I can share with many people, you know, being happy that someone died.
My dad commuted suicide when I was a teen. He had abused me when I was a girl, and was absent after that. At the time if his death I mourned. Now that I'm older and have really processed for myself what kind of man he was, I am glad he's gone. I'm grateful I don't have to bother confronting him or cutting him off. He's just gone and can't hurt anyone anymore. Glad you're finding some level if peace. My heart goes out to you. 💗
It is perfectly normal to be "over the moon" and happy that a cancer has been cured. When the cancer cells are permanently gone and will never return to do their damage to a body, that is a good thing. Abusive men are cancer. Not only is it a good thing when they die, our legal system should be structured to end their lives immediately at the first sign of abusive behavior - same as with giving chemotherapy to kill off cancer cells.
our legal system should be structured to end their lives immediately at the first sign of abusive behavior
I would completely, unabashedly support systematic euthanasia of men who abuse women and children, even if it makes a significant dent in the male population (honestly that’s just a bonus).
I know I would rave the day my uncle dies (he sexually abused me from when I was 8 until I was 15). I've largely processed the trauma, but I still am completely disgusted by him.
I'm sorry about the loss of your sister and happy for you that her abuser have finally died in misery. I wish the same fate for all abusive men I've encountered through life. There's no redemption arc for these abusive characters. Once they choose to go down that path there's no turning back.
I'm also waiting for the day I'll hear through the grapevine my father has passed away. Haven't had contact with him since I was 9, I've come to peace with who he is, but I know I will take deep breath of air once he is gone. Everyone's welcome to judge me to their heart's content but that's just how I feel
No judgement here. Rooting for your dad to croak sooner rather than later so you can find the peace and closure you deserve.
I'm so sorry, i literally cannot imagine losing my sister and i actually teared up when you said she died. Sigh. I lost someone not long ago myself and it's the sort of pain that on some level will never go away.
I hope you can find peace now that the waste of space is gone. Sending you love.
I’ve worked in the medical field and I’ve seen kids pass
I will never shed a tear for some asshole
Nothing wrong with that, not all life is valuable
I’m so sorry about your sister. Good for his daughter for disowning him.
I’m very happy to hear a male abuser died painfully and alone, he deserved all that and much worse. I’ll never understand people who balk at celebrating the death of vile individuals. Some lives absolutely do not matter, and the lives of men who kill or abuse women and children are among the most worthless.
I am so so sorry about everything that monster brought upon you and your loved ones. That is truly horrific, and also having someone in my life that delights in inflicting misery on others, I am sometimes astonished at the range of human behaviors that are considered "legal", or "constitutionally protected". I do not at all begrudge your joy at his passing, and I have high hopes for the daughter. It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and can take a stand against evil. Even if that evil is her own father. Best wishes.
I thought I would share this here because some of you might relate in some way, and it's not something I can share with many people, you know, being happy that someone died.
Thanks for sharing, made me smile. :)
That's fantastic news. Cause for celebration.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm so sorry that he continued to be awful to your family after your sister's death.
I'm glad too. I can't stand when pious people say "every life is precious" when brutal, abusive men die. No - some people exist only to cause suffering to others and when they die, that suffering eases. It's okay to celebrate a death that puts an end to women's suffering. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister.