71
RantI'm Not Wishing My TIM Brother a Happy Mother's Day
Because he's not a mother, and his children have a mother, but they don't have two mothers because he's not a woman. For the last four years, I have wished him a happy mother's day, and he has gone on social media presenting himself a mother. While my brother can pretend that his newly-found gender dysphoria was the root cause of all his problems, it doesn't change the fact than in pursuing this, he has ignored the real problems in his life, including the problems in his marriage and the problems his children are having. He refuses to acknowledge how forcing his children to accept him as a woman is another trauma, and every time something gets worse at home, it's another procedure or another part of his body to focus on until it gets to be too much and he has another breakdown.
But regardless, he's not a woman. He didn't give birth to children. He didn't nourish children with his body. But he also didn't raise children to think that he was their primary maternal attachment. He didn't take on all the risks of being under the microscope when it comes to being a mother in our culture. He isn't damned if he does and damned if he doesn't when it comes to "motherhood." He didn't give up his career to stay home with the children, nor was he expected to do so. He doesn't incur the risk of being a bad mother when he ignores his children's needs to focus on his transformation - that's all interpreted as"self care" and "being a positive role model" for his children, even though it's a far cry from spending a few hours alone or going out for a night with friends. He didn't become their mother until one day, he decided he wanted to identify as a woman, and then decided spend the rest of his life in an endless pursuit of affirmation through chemicals, procedures, and cosplay.
He doesn't know what I think yet, and I know this would obviously change the friendship we have, possibly irreparably, because I am rejecting something that is core to his identity, however false it is. But I just can't obey the command to remind him that he's a woman when he's not.