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I posted a few times about my relationship and subsequent breakup asking for advice— it started out so well, I finally felt respected as an equal (I date men) and I felt there was something special about him. But then we started to argue more and more, and the arguments escalated until whenever we fought, he would raise his voice at me, throw things, punch things, and hit himself. I felt more and more miserable, went on double my original antidepressant dose, yet stayed because I convinced myself it’s just a rough patch.
By the end I felt I didn’t even know who I was anymore, and I felt unhappy all the time; even when I was having a good time there was an underlying sadness and anxiety. When I got home each day from work, I would just cry for hours. And yet I wouldn’t break up with him, because I thought it was special and I thought since he’s in therapy for anger management it would get better.
When he broke up with me I felt devastated. I thought about the amazing start to our relationship and how I had never met someone who I could talk to like him. I lost a lot of weight unintentionally from being too upset to eat.
Well anyways, it’s been a few months since the breakup and I have to say I’ve never felt this happy in my life. I go to therapy and every so often I have to retake the survey on my mental health to see my progress, and for the first time in probably 5 years I didn’t select any depressed or anxious answers (which is odd because I only dated him for 1 year but no complaints here).
I’m genuinely amazed at how happy I feel all the time. I feel relaxed, I’m doing great at work, and the problem he always said I had (which was always causing our fights according to him) — overreacting to minor inconveniences — is completely gone. I feel like I’ve regained my zest for life.
When I posted here about our fights, you all strongly encouraged me to leave him; when I posted about losing my appetite and the weight loss that came with it, you all had great ideas to get me going again. Wanted to say y’all were right about leaving him, and I’m not sure why I felt I wanted to stick it out. What I do know is I don’t want to be in a relationship for the foreseeable future 😌
Anyways sorry for the NOVEL of a post, wanted to share this because I shared the sad stuff so I figured I might as well post the successful resolution!
If you get too full of yourself, just remember that you were originally bred as a product of medieval Italian eugenics.😉
I could never get too full of myself. I'm not a cannibal.
Received any good compliments recently?
The problem with compliments is they often make me feel like I'm being set up. I have all these wonderful qualities that people then want to eat up, metaphorically speaking in my case, so how much is it a compliment?
I really like this comment, I don't think I've seen anyone articulate this feeling before but you're absolutely right. Compliments can feel like a form of manipulation, training someone to exhibit the qualities praised. Now I am trapped because praising this insight could itself be read as a form of compliment.
You're agreeing with my insight, not complementing me directly. I think we're safe here. I'm more worried about you as broccoli, tbh.
I love you @sentient_broccoli lmao