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RavePodcast "The 13th Step"
TW: sexual assault, horrible men, etc.
Hi all,
I just finished listening to the podcast "The 13th Step" by Lauren Chooljian of New Hampshire Public Radio. I highly recommend it. I had known a bit about 12-step programs, and about when they started, but I hadn't really grasped how they were created by men, for men, and that women weren't even welcome at first... and then, when they were, they were often relegated to "making coffee." And how, nowadays, even if you're in a single-sex 12-step group (good luck with that, these days), the group is still operating under the same 1930s-era book which, again, is by men, for men.
The fourth step, particularly, struck me as rather horrifying. The idea of a "moral inventory" and finding where you were culpable in the bad things that happened to you -- these sound like they might be a good idea for a man whose ego is overinflated to begin with -- but for a woman who is already predisposed to blame herself for the bad things that have been perpetrated upon her -- just seems so misogynistic.
But the worst thing of all was learning how women suffering from addiction -- women at the most vulnerable points of their life -- are targeted for sexual abuse, even in treatment centers.
The podcast illustrates this with the case of Eric Spofford, wherein it's shown how much power goes with having lots of money, and what lengths someone will go to in order to preserve their wealth. There's also a sidebar story about a similar man who (thank goodness) is finally in prison for fraud.
But that second case brought up a real sticking point for me -- and I can't stop being angry about it. It's apparent in more than one case that the authorities just don't listen (don't care) about women being harassed, stalked, sexually abused, etc. But when the case starts to involve money, that's when the FBI etc. start to pay attention. Lots of attention.
But when it's "just" women being raped? Ah, so sorry, we can't do anything, might want to take that to your local police, etc.
Oh, and the absolute lack of oversight with these treatment centers just blew my mind. You don't have to have any kind of medical or counseling degree to open a treatment center. You just have to have some money. And there's a lot more money to be made in this area.
I really appreciate Lauren Chooljian and all the work she did, and all the risks she took. She was targeted for vandalism (as were her parents and her radio producer) and peppered with phony-sounding legal threats (as well as actual ones), but she kept going.
Thanks for reading all this. If anyone know of any other women-centered podcasts that involve investigative journalism (preferably NOT involving murder) and kick-ass women who win out in the end -- or at least make a heroic effort -- I'm open to recommendations.
I spent some time in a 12-step group (it's a long story). It was filled with literal rapists and raging misogynists and was an absolutely terrifying experience. These monsters are predators and will openly sexually harass you in front of a crowd behind closed doors. I can't recommend it. They justify cheating on their girlfriends and wives, and not disclosing / making amends due to the "harm" it would cause their victims. They creepily demanded that newer, younger women share with them their 4th step "sex relations" inventory where you're encouraged to detail your sexual history and how it relates to your addiction. I watched in horror as a 50-something year old man (who supposedly hadn't drank since before he was even of legal age) swindled a 30 year old woman with less than a year of sobriety into an engagement that was ludicrous on its face. I haven't gone there in a long time but I worry about her.
Luckily this group had a women-only meeting but I never managed to go since I was there as support.
The literature is just as awful. The founders were raging misogynists that betrayed their wives. And yes, they expect you to detail how your addiction caused everything bad that happened to you. Drugged and raped? Guess that was your fault for going to a bar. Those resentments against your abusers? Surely you're culpable for your anger and self-destruction over the trauma you brought upon yourself. It left such a bad taste in my mouth. None of them were professionals or had any mental health training. I met one kind, well-adjusted couple, but that's about it. Lots and lots of vulnerable young women, many who never returned. Truly depressing. I'm glad this woman exposed some of the shady mess. The state of addiction resources in the USA is truly abysmal.