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RantJust some useless venting
I'm getting really tired of my new(ish) male coworker constantly tone policing me.
I'll say something in the most neutral way, and he'll act like I bit his head off.
I'm not an animated woman. I don't smile unless there's something to smile about or I'm nervous. I just don't feel a lot of positive emotions. Haven't for years. Most days I wake up exhausted and feeling as if the life's been sucked out of me, but I try to remain as neutral and pleasant as possible when interacting with others.
But he's constantly getting on me about being "too serious".
I live in a world where expressing myself can get me fired, shunned, and even physically assaulted. Where everything's divisive and political, everyone's ready to tear each other apart over the slightest disagreement, and those who claim to care about the same causes I do are actively gaslighting society and hiding the truth from us.
The support my coworkers give me is completely conditional on them not knowing who I really am or what I really feel or believe.
It is actually not safe to be me.
I don't really have any friends anymore, my only family lives hundreds of miles away, and my roommate acts as if I don't exist.
Most of the relationships, platonic or otherwise, I've had ended against my will. I do not trust anyone because all anyone has ever done was let me down.
The only ones I can talk to about certain things I must keep hidden from everyone else are a handful of religious and spiritual conservatives, and sometimes, they test me.
My male coworker can be a "loose canon" with no filter and everyone just finds it so quirky. Meanwhile, I constantly have to bite my tongue and walk on egg shells.
When he speaks his mind, everyone appreciates it. When I speak my mind, I'm being "unkind" or I have an "attitude".
When he's "serious", no one bats an eye, but when I'm just neutral, not even angry or sad or anything, I'm "dismissive and rude".
That's why I'm so serious, you blubbering blowhard.
Gorgeous! Also, what a beautiful citrus tree.
Thanks!!! I've been gently squeezing my limes every day to check them because I'm so excited I can't wait for them to ripen. :)
Fantastic! I'm so jealous. I wish citrus trees would grow here. At least I have some delicious berries. :)
This was a large hawk. Beautiful though. Had to close up the doggie door so Irish didn't get snatched up.
ETA: Best guess is red tail. If anyone knows any better, let me know.
Definitely a red tail! I used to do raptor surveys looking for these fellas in the woods. Filmmakers use their cries instead of eagles' own in movies. If you're anywhere near a nest a worried mama will circle above you and make these cries over and over again.
Cool! He/she was soooo big! You don't realize how large until they're that close. The fence is about 10ft. from the kitchen window where I took the picture. The hawk sat there for a while and let me get lots of video and snaps :)
When I moved the blinds, she definitely saw me, though. That head turned right to the side and the eye found me immediately. lol
What did the front of the hawk look like? Light breast, dark band across the belly area = red tail.
The front was white with brownish V shapes on it???
Sounds like a red-tail! Looks young, maybe in its first year. Very cool, thanks for sharing
I used to have a cotton tail doe rabbit in my back yard for about three years who would safely have her kits there. The amount of beautiful hawks I would chase off. I'd yell and wave my arms about. After about two minutes they would fly off. I must have looked like a mad woman.
Beautiful! They sit on our fence occasionally too. I like your string lights, btw. 😊
Thanks!
The lights are my neighbors. The palm tree I used to hang mine on died during the great Texas freeze of 2021. 😭😭😭
The lights are my neighbors
Duh. I should have figured that one out as you're taking the photo from the opposite side of the fence. 🤦♀️ Still both beautiful yards.
I used to feed some sparrows in my front bushes when it was winter, and one day I heard them cry out in alarm and ran out to them, and there was a hawk that looked very similar to this one perching right on my neighbor's railing like this.
He was obviously hoping to grab one of the sparrows as a snack, so I did everything I could to scare him away, but that fucker didn't even flinch for several minutes no matter what I did, but eventually he gave up and flew off.
In other raptor news, I saw an amazing sight about a month ago, although sadly I wasn't able to get a picture because it was such a shock; I saw two bald eagles, one adult and one juvenile, while riding by them in a cab.
I've seen a couple of bald eagles before, but always from far away, up high, and across a lot of water, whereas these ones were on the ground just hanging out on the grass, and this was right in the middle of a very urban area, no less!
So cool 🤩
I’m always struck by how HUGE these birds are