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Interesting story from work today, even more interestingly, on the heels of the recent AWWA period campaign mishap, and how I actually even commented on a couple of posts relating to that on here.
I'm a public librarian. A young teenage girl came up to the reference desk this afternoon and asked in a quiet voice, "do you guys have any pads?" Not a common request, but it does happen. We do keep a stash for this scenario so I handed one over to her as discreetly as I could; she was very thankful and I thought that was the end of it.
About 40 minutes later, another woman came up to the desk and told me there was a girl in a stall in the women's washroom, and had been there for a long time. (The same backpack was on the floor.) I went and checked; there was only one occupied stall and sounded like crying. I knocked on the door and asked if she was okay, and the door actually opened. It was the same teen, she was just standing there with her jacket tied around her waist. Looking kind of freaked out.
She told me it was her first period; she’d bled through her pants and was miserable. I asked if she was okay, if she had her cell with her (she did, and she had a friend from their high school coming with clothes and Ibuprofen.) I asked if she wanted company until her friend got there, she said yes. I introduced myself, chatted a bit with her about mine, but didn’t want to overwhelm her or anything. Her friend showed up, she cheered up quite a bit, and they both left, and the teen turned to me and thanked me, and I said no problem, “we’ve all been there.” She gave me the biggest smile at that.
About an hour later there was a phone call to the front desk: it was the girl’s mother asking for me by name, and thanking me. It was a pleasant call, and lovely to hear thanks, but that’s not the point of the story. The point is:
This girl was embarrassed, and your first time, even if mentally somewhat prepared, is always a shock. I just kept thinking the entire time: what if we didn’t have separate washrooms? This girl, in this moment, needed privacy and some gentle reassurance, and women who understood. What if that wasn’t the case? If she didn’t have a private, actual safe space for that experience? Do we really live in a society where this 13/14 year-old girl would be called transphobic if she were to be vocally grateful for this space?
I'm not sure if I feel inspired by this or defeated. Lol. Either way, it felt important.
A competent surgeon and anesthesiologist team will not make things work for you regardless of your size, because competent medical providers don't take unnecessary serious risks with your health in the first place. Much like how a guy bragging about how he's such a great driver that it's fine when he texts and drives all the time, he's sooo good at it...is a shit driver.
Exactly
‘A competent surgeon/anesthesiologist will make it work’ so you admit it’s more complicated and dangerous?
Since it’s a cosmetic surgery to (debatably) treat a fad/cult/mental health issues
You are essentially doctor-shopping for someone who did the math and the money outweighs the liability insurance hikes per harmed patient.
Doctor-shopping for the doctor least concerned about the considerable risk of you dying on the operating table during an unnecessary procedure (or having horrific, life-altering complications afterwards) doesn't sound as positive though.
Doctors who don’t want your blood on their hands…or your death on their record…are so phobic
What’s a little insanicide?
Insurers also won't cover elective operations deemed too high risk.
Right? A competent medical team will be honest with you about your risks and possible outcomes and elect not to do procedures they deem not worth the risk.
This will literally kill someone. This advice will literally kill people.
Frankly, maybe this is what they really want. The trans cult is desperate for martyrs. A patient dying during surgery is something they would claim as "medical negligence due to transphobia" or "doctors not caring as much because they're bigots and the patient was trans."
If a trans-identifying person is harmed in any way, doesn't matter how, even from their own actions, then they claim it to be due to transphobia.
But at least they'll feel like a valid boy before they die! /s
They won’t even let women in labor eat anything but liquids in the U.S., because of the infinitesimal risk of asphyxiation in the event she has to have an emergency C-section. Seriously. The risk is tiny, women can be there for hooooooours, and I just wanted a damn snack.
But sure, yeah, you’re being discriminated against because they’re unwilling to take the actual risk of killing you.
Also, surgeons see a lot of horrible things. Exploding pus! The inside of your bowels! Smoker lungs! Tumors! Necrosis! I promise, they aren’t going “oooooh, large fat deposits, icky-poo!”
The risk is tiny, women can be there for hooooooours, and I just wanted a damn snack.
I had to beg for ice chips because they didn't want me drinking water during labor. I was in labor for over 24 hours before I gave up and got a c-section. 😭
This is the type of stuff that makes me scared of delivering in a hospital. 24 hours of being refused water during a very physically demanding time, oh hell no. If my body is screaming for water or food, or to deliver in a position that isn't laying on my back, and they try to tell me no, I can't even imagine how frustrating that would be.
Have an ally with you to advocate for you
I work with mice. To increase the chances of a mom mouse having a nice, smooth labor, I make sure she has a heating pad, extra liquids, and very soft, high-calorie food. Same protocol applies to mother mice who are actively experiencing dystocia - keep them warm, hydrated, and fed, and those babies will come out (unless the canal is like, visibly obstructed).
22 hours here. Fucking nightmare
I guess if you can't let reality bother you about your sex, you shouldn't let it bother you about trivial things like the dangers of anesthesia for obese people. Complications don't exist if you feel they don't exist.
Heck, let's get rid of gravity too. It's so oppressive.
go to a million doctors until you get what you want
Oxycontin, a lobotomy, thalidomide, Brazilian butt lift, the Dalkon Shield, bloodletting, leeches, breast implants, whatever you want! The customer is always right.
To be fair, I do feel a little bad for the mentally ill young people who've been groomed into this kind of behavior. The onus of responsible gatekeeping shouldn't be on them.
So each time a doctor turned you down, that was an experienced doctor saying no to money/business/ future-business/etc due to her/his medical judgment
I support and encourage getting second/third/etc opinions
And, yes, bias exists in medical care. Also, The experts absolutely can be wrong
But when you are searching for ‘yes’, not information about risk vs benefit to make your own decisions, there might be a problem
Just gotta keep doctor shopping until you find a real life Dr. Nick Riviera.
Haha!!
Dr. Nick Rivera, in his (her?) suspiciously TIFfy frog voice
“Hello everybody”
You tried the best, now try the rest. Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The "B" is for "bargain!"
The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money!
... And die on the operating table because you never wake up after they put you under, because you ignored all the other "fatphobic" doctors who told you this is why they wouldn't operate on you.
Someone out there seems to be actively trying to rid the world of quirky fat girls
OMG not this again. Did these people ever stop to think that maybe there's a medical reason behind this and not just "fat phobia?" I am overweight myself and I would absolutely hope that if I have to get a medical procedure done, doctors will be aware of and inform me of any risks that result because of my weight.
No, if you won't do what they want when they want, it's because you hate them and want them to die. It's like a weird, super extreme version of the customer is always right mixed with symptoms of cluster b personality disorders. Plus, fat activists have done a great job flooding the same spaces as TRAs with the message that being overweight absolutely has no bearing on your health at all, so the delusions, lack of common sense, and denial of decades worth of medical science run real deep here.
I've seen influencer doctors say the same thing!!!
Yes. Go ahead and doctor shop until you find a surgeon willing to do elective surgery on your 400 pound frame. It worked out so well for the last TIF who did it!
And when women with persistent pain and other symptoms are ignored and look for other doctors then it's "hysterics" and "doctor shopping"
Make sure you have your life insurance policy in place, along with a living will, medical power of attorney, and a will in place before you kill yourself due to your delusional mental illness. After all, that mental illness is more important than staying alive.
Women experiencing severe issues and going from doctor to doctor because she's unhelpfully told to lose weight is referred to as "doctor shopping". But these people aren't???
I remember about a year and a half ago there was this TIF got a double mastectomy and she was overweight to some degree. She found a surgeon who would perform the operation on her regardless, and it did not turn out well for her. There's a reason surgeries have elevated risks if you're overweight/obese, such as cardiovascular and respiratory risks. Hell, being obese in of itself is a health risk, but actively encouraging other people to find a doctor who will forgo all safety protocols is massively irresponsible.
Dr "Sociopath Butcher" Gallagher performed a double mastectomy on an obese woman and when a hole developed, she told the patient it was no big deal and called the wound a "blow hole"
called the wound a "blow hole"
Lol... now who's fatphobic?
Yes it was horrible. I felt so awful for that tif. But of course, she said she had no regrets about the surgery, just the surgeon. WTF how can you separate those two things??
No you don't need to be skinny. You can be operated on at any size, any weight. But there are best practice parameters for safety based on years of research and patient outcomes. Doctors are not trying to get sued bc Aiden Kai, 700lbs, wants her breasts chopped off.
This stuff is so insane. It's a major surgery. No, you really really should not be doctor shopping for something like this. The fatphobia angle doesn't even make sense. A doctor taking your weight seriously and denying a dangerous procedure is doing the opposite of what the usual fatphobia claims are about.
The more I hear from/about TIPs, the more upside down I find the things they say.
It’s Through the Looking Glass stuff. Everything is distorted, inside out, back to front.
I’m afraid I’ve lost the very last vestiges of tolerance and empathy for them. For the ones who casually tell such lies, anyway. I have nothing against the ones we never hear of, the ones who stay out of women’s spaces, the ones who aren’t on reddit egging kids on to do irreversible damage to their healthy bodies. I’m all for invisible TIPs. The ones who NEVER SHUT UP are turning opinion against them all.
Stop promoting being overweight. It's not healthy. This is coming from someone that's obese and trying hard to get their health back in shape. I'm so sick of this casual love for it.
You got this. The most important thing is to keep trucking. You mess up? Start over at the next meal. You don't exercise like you should? Start over right now. Mindset is so important for weight loss.
I know this is late but thank you <3
Exactly. Those "fatphobic" doctors care more about their health than the TRAs telling them to shop around until they find one unscrupulous enough to say yes.
you should check out Michelle McDaniels on youtube. I'm kinda the opposite in eating disorders and I find her very inspiring bc she promotes healthy eating and calls out "fat activists". and she's RIPPED and so so gorgeous. she also sells these protein donuts, it's her own company. I am nowhere near ready to attempt to get on her level but damn, someday!!!
I'll check her out, thanks
Lol glad to see another Michelle McDaniel fan in the wild. I love her channel
I love her! I’m a binge eater like her, I’ve gone off track now. But I gotta get back into watching her, she such a motivation !
Michelle McDaniel is awesome. And I love how she still has the weird nerd energy despite losing weight and getting ripped.
She is a pretty talented cosplayer!
Protein doughnuts?!
OMG i want protein donuts