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Interesting story from work today, even more interestingly, on the heels of the recent AWWA period campaign mishap, and how I actually even commented on a couple of posts relating to that on here.
I'm a public librarian. A young teenage girl came up to the reference desk this afternoon and asked in a quiet voice, "do you guys have any pads?" Not a common request, but it does happen. We do keep a stash for this scenario so I handed one over to her as discreetly as I could; she was very thankful and I thought that was the end of it.
About 40 minutes later, another woman came up to the desk and told me there was a girl in a stall in the women's washroom, and had been there for a long time. (The same backpack was on the floor.) I went and checked; there was only one occupied stall and sounded like crying. I knocked on the door and asked if she was okay, and the door actually opened. It was the same teen, she was just standing there with her jacket tied around her waist. Looking kind of freaked out.
She told me it was her first period; she’d bled through her pants and was miserable. I asked if she was okay, if she had her cell with her (she did, and she had a friend from their high school coming with clothes and Ibuprofen.) I asked if she wanted company until her friend got there, she said yes. I introduced myself, chatted a bit with her about mine, but didn’t want to overwhelm her or anything. Her friend showed up, she cheered up quite a bit, and they both left, and the teen turned to me and thanked me, and I said no problem, “we’ve all been there.” She gave me the biggest smile at that.
About an hour later there was a phone call to the front desk: it was the girl’s mother asking for me by name, and thanking me. It was a pleasant call, and lovely to hear thanks, but that’s not the point of the story. The point is:
This girl was embarrassed, and your first time, even if mentally somewhat prepared, is always a shock. I just kept thinking the entire time: what if we didn’t have separate washrooms? This girl, in this moment, needed privacy and some gentle reassurance, and women who understood. What if that wasn’t the case? If she didn’t have a private, actual safe space for that experience? Do we really live in a society where this 13/14 year-old girl would be called transphobic if she were to be vocally grateful for this space?
I'm not sure if I feel inspired by this or defeated. Lol. Either way, it felt important.