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Multiple times now I have gotten a notification that YouTube removed my comment due to "harassment and bullying". I've come to the conclusion the only thing it could be is me replying to 'fix your pornsickness ' to sexual comments on videos, especially because I saw a comment where id replied that, and it was gone.
I've started replying this on any comment where some perv is being sexual for no reason, turning innocent things into sex commentary, making disgusting so called jokes, etc.., especially on videos aimed at younger audiences.
Someone tell me how is that "harassment" or "bullying", but the countless misogynistic and sexist bullshit I've reported isn't? Or rape "jokes"? Or mocking & laughing at domestic violence? Or racism? Those get to stay, but me telling perverts to seek help for their pornsickness is So Horrendous!!1 I've legit seen videos displaying animal cruelty that are up months to years later, news videos disgustingly commenting on women being abused, asking for videos of something horrible happening to her, y'know how it is.
I'm not gonna stop, but I think it's amusing as fuck that "fix your pornsickness" is akin to harassing and cyber bullying someone. Oh no! did I 'kink shame' you? Are you embarrassed? Good!!! You should be & I'm not going to stop considering all they can do is mute me for 24 hrs. So pathetic.
This reminds me of the time my daughter, age 3 or 4, asked the tough old biker ‘are you a pirate?’
We almost died that day, except not at all
Because his ‘ole lady’ started laughing and said ‘yes honey, yes he is’
You might want to check the sexual offender registry to see if they are on it. I had one in my apartment building. I asked the concierge about him and all. I'm not sure what i would do if i were a mom, i was on the 8th floor, so i couldn't easily take the stairs and i was worried i'd be trapped in the elevator with one. Obviously, there are offenders who haven't been caught and don't make it to the registry, but it's important to know about the ones who are.
I'm absolutely certain most sex offenders are not on the registry.
Even cops will shill the ,"he peed in a kid's park" line to you, when you damn well know if they actually managed to get on there it's because their behaviour couldn't be ignored or excused. Air tight, caught red handed kind of deal usually.
There's a really busted TIM I've seen around my neighborhood. At my boyfriend's urging, I looked at the sex offender registry for my area, and I'm like 99 percent sure one of them is that TIM.
If a sex offender changea his last name, will he still show up on the registry under his new name?
I think they update even their license plate numbers, so i imagine that too. 🤷🏽♀️ I'm sure it's state by state what kind of details are provided. Mine used to let me search much more closer in radius and had info like license plates and tattoos.
possibly not but if you just search by area it should show you all of them within a certain mile radius and it has photos.
That registry is pretty much the only thing I envy Americans for. It'd never be allowed here, I don't think. Such a great way to keep yourself safe-ish, tho.
I do appreciate that we have it. It definitely exposed people when I was in a small town that we did not know were offenders until we were able to look it up, and it prevents them from just moving to a new city and abandoning any responsibility. You have the very, very rare case where it's like an 18-19 year old dating a 16-17 year old where it gets dicey but I do believe most states now have implemented something to help prevent those people going on lists. Not entirely sure though.
Now that I live in a highly populated city it's kind of alarming how many there are to the point it's difficult to sort through who may actually be close enough to be a threat.
there are about 3 AGPs in my new complex
Girl where do u live what's in the water it's turning the frogs gay men into crossdressers
I think they probably just know each other, or are connected to whoever owns this complex, something like that.
I think porn is so pervasive that many men genuinely feel it's okay to express their fetishes in public. If it's cross-dressing, it's cross-dressing.
When they had to do that crap in private, they were transvestites. Now, they are autogynephiles.
I'm in an area where they are reasonably enabled.
The really really tall ones seriously make my brain hurt. Like it's hard for a WOMAN who is actually really really tall. They stand out, it's hard to get clothes, people stare - why would you think you're ever going to pass when even an actual born woman of those proportions struggles to fit in?
There is a trans dad in our school district. A man, a dad, who now identifies as a woman. Far as I can tell, his wife kicked him out and now he doesn't even live in the district but of course he's super involved and loves showing off his kids... probably more than he would have had they been a married couple still. Before they were just his kids but NOW they affirm his identity as a mom. (I have never met the mom - I hope I get to at some point)
What's funny is the first time I saw him as was an open house, and there was also a book fair going on so we were in the library, for whatever reason I was looking at the floor and my eyes fell on these size 14 ballet flats. Huge. I looked up and sure enough, that's a dude. With big earrings and garrish make-up and just so obviously a dude. 6'4 and an adam's apple. I was like whoa.
Some time later ... I was at the grocery store, walking towards the door from my car, when I saw someone get out of the car I was passing... feet first... those size 14 ballet flats. No way. Look up, it's him. Wearing shorts and a soccer Tshirt with his name on the back... naturally a women's name with a uneek spelling. That's actually what allowed me to do a deep dive on figuring out who he is lol. Because of course they never take NORMAL names. It's always porny or special. I don't know if those are the only women's shoes he owns or what. He seems to wear them A LOT. Whether they go with the rest of his outfit or not. It's such a give-away. Even if a woman were as tall as him, her feet wouldn't be quite as big. That's what makes it even weirder. And a woman would never pair ballet flats with a soccer outfit. I swear it's like they focus more on "are these women's clothes?" than "would a woman wear this outfit?"
There are just so many things that are a dead giveaway. My husband and I are the same height. He’s short for a man while I’m average for a woman. He weighs way more than I do, his hands and feet are bigger, his head is bigger, his torso is longer, etc. I have longer legs which is how we somehow average out to the same height.
On the subject of the ballet flats, women with really large feet struggle to find shoes that aren't hideous (I'm just on the cusp of this), and I would assume that's especially the case for TIMs. The ballet flats might be among the only halfway decent shoes he can find.
They might be ... but in and of itself that isn't problematic. I've never been a shoe person - I have one basic pair of black women's pumps that I wear whenever I need dress shoes. I don't find this particularly odd. But when you say a certain shoe goes with everything... there are still some stipulations. I wouldn't wear them with shorts and a T-shirt to go to the grocery store lol. Maybe I could put together an outfit with tailored shorts and a nice top and I could wear pumps with that, but I'm talking like he just had soccer practice and then threw on some dress shoes.
There are so many trappings to this whole TIM thing. Like "I'm a woman now, I need to only wear women's shoes so everyone knows I'm a woman!" Meanwhile, an actual woman ... can wear whatever shoes she wants.
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I don't even think you need to be attractive... you can just tell! When I first saw those massive feet, I was reminded of a woman I encountered back in 5th grade, she was something big with the school district and she was coming to talk to our class about something. She had big feet. But despite being tall and not about to turn any heads with her beauty - although to be fair she was in her 50s-60s and I am sure age plus dressing her age didn't do her any favors - she was still obviously a woman. An ugly woman might be described as "mannish" but she still won't look like a man.
That was what made me so ragey about the whole Imane Khelif (sp) thing - trying to gaslight anyone who rose concerns by saying "you're a racist! Just because a brown woman doesn't meet your white beauty standards, you claim she is a man!" OK but ... no one said s/he was ugly. As a DUDE I actually thought he was pretty attractive. I've never looked at an ugly woman of any color and though "Wow, that guy is really cute!"
The brain knows what the eyes are seeing.
Is refusing to interact with them the only way to "not play nice", or can you share other tactics?
But I really wish men would not cross-dress in public. It's not being their authentic selves, it's indulging in a fetish. It's fishing for interaction, either from stares or questions.
Yes. I wish some highly-placed person would say this repeatedly in public. It’s intentional provocation. It’s anti-social.
And your story about the girl getting in trouble for telling the truth is heartbreaking. I think there are certain things which should disqualify people from working with other people’s children. And insisting on pretending you are the opposite sex or some gender special is one of them.
And, sympathies about the parenting difficulties. As my husband likes to tell strangers with kids out and about, they’re adorable and we love them but they’re a terrible return on investment. 😉
Cross dressing in public is including non-consenting people (including minors) in your fetish.
Also, can I just say that this is exactly th dynamic of my little ones as well lol: "Some kids, like my Oldest, take information/education and apply it to be an upstanding member of society. Some kids, like my Youngest, use it to subvert society and watch the world burn."
Lol! I always believed that children should know the reason for a rule. But with Youngest, that just seems to finetune the chaos.
Little off topic, but I found the below article pretty interesting and helped explain the vast differences in personality between my own children. TLDR: Basically, genetics are huge part of how people behave and why. Less so parenting (outside of severe neglect/abuse).
"So are you a boy or what?" Youngest snapped, with all the sensitivity of a retired military grandfather.
Dying!! 🤭
But I really wish men would not cross-dress in public. It's not being their authentic selves, it's indulging in a fetish. It's fishing for interaction, either from stares or questions.
Ugh this!! I am so sick of seeing cross dressing disgusting men everywhere! And having to pretend that someone in the elevator isn’t enlisting me into his sick humiliation fetish. It’s like if someone was just walking around in Walmart in assless chaps and asking people to spank them. It’s just as shocking and disgusting to see a porn clown TIM in fishnets. I want to yell “Go home pervert! No one here consents to your filth, go back to the basement and play dress up alone, Buffalo Bill!”
Maybe imposing their fetishes on the world is exactly what their "authentic selves" do.
I'd say your youngest gets a gold star. Public honesty is, yes, discouraged, but there is a fine line between calling out "fat" vs. calling out "fetish". Fetish is a choice, an attempt to be in your face, an attempt to make others feel uncomfortable, a dominance ploy.
Good for her, turning the table.
I agree. Cross dressing isn't a good look, and usually seems to make a mockery of us. Crude makeup, overly sexual clothing, etc.
One of my kids is on the spectrum and in a way has made the trans stuff so much simpler for me because of the tendency to break things down into simple rules. After a discussion we had about a particular cashier at our grocery store, the rules came out roughly like this:
Sometimes there are people who are boys but they want to be known as girls, or the other way.
If you don't know which one, it's okay to ask how they want to be known.
It's polite to call them the way they want, even if you think they are really a boy.
I will never allow anybody to tell my kid to ignore their own senses or perceptions. It's one thing to remind a kid that butch women do exist and just because someone "looks like a boy" doesn't mean they are one, but it's another to tell a child that an obvious man wearing lippy really is a woman. I try to stick with the theme of politeness; it's polite to address people in the way they prefer, nothing more or less, and if they behave in a way that is scary or hurtful then all rules of politeness cease to apply.
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It is such a disservice to children. We want kids to tell us if someone makes them uncomfortable, but now we're actively teaching them to ignore that little voice in their head that tells them they are uncomfortable because it would be unkind to state facts.
Your kid is adorable and HONEST. And you write a damn fine humorous essay!
Great story.
I honestly wish more ppl would let or even coach very young kids to make fun of the TiPs. Someone needs to.
I suspect many teach their kids to not do it because they fear for their lives.
Wasn't a girl in Great Britain arrested for noticing that a genderspecial police officer was, in fact, a woman?
Oldest still needs a lot of management and reminders so this is always a big chore. I was hoping Oldest would mature and be able to help me with Youngest, but alas.
Don't do this. Your oldest did not choose to have kids; you did. Don't parentify your kids just because you're in over your head. That goes double if your oldest is a girl, because you'd just be teaching her that it's her responsibility to care for others even at the expense of her own childhood/livelihood.
Enh, I think Oldest is at the age where Oldest should manage Oldest's self. And pitch in a little. Not a lot, just a little.
I think it's fine for children to be able to manage themselves and not treat their mothers like servants who are never off-clock. Example: when I am doing the dishes and the Oldest is watching television, Oldest can go and get a cup of ice water themselves.
When I am trying to wrangle Youngest, Oldest can also rinse out their own water bottle, fill it, put ice in it, and put it in their backpack.
Modeling better behavior would be a big help with Youngest. I'm not asking Oldest to parent Youngest, but modeling difficult behavior so that it spreads makes life harder for everyone. Especially me.
In terms of "the oldest didn't choose to have kids, you did" I think this is a bit simplistic.
A huge problem in the US is that kids, kids are expected to have NO responsibilities to anyone else until the age of 18. Just because I'm the one that chose to have kids, no that doesn't mean I have to do everything. No, their childhood is not destroyed because they had to learn self-control when they would have rather played. They aren't ruined because they had to get to school in time.
My kids get a looooot of 1st world benefits without having many chores. I spoil them a bit on that front, so I'm definitely not going to be guilt-tripped into asking even less of them than I do. It's not doing them a favor. So now that they're a weensy bit older, I'm expecting more of them. If I'm driving them to unnecessary, fun activities after school when it's dark, or buying them fun presents, ordering their favorites on DoorDash, I need to expect something in return.
Managing oneself is different from managing someone else, and you've spent your response arguing something else entirely. This was your original wording:
I was hoping Oldest would mature and be able to help me with Youngest, but alas.
So to now pivot into an argument about managing oneself (as if you're defending your original point?) makes me worry for your children in the future, when they try to reason with you about something and you decide to react emotionally about something else.
I need to expect something in return.
This is a toxic mentality. Don't do this. You're not from 1920s India. Parenting was optional for you. Yet you took it on anyway and are now complaining that the lifestyle you've chosen costs money. I expect your children will be pressed to validate your ego in perpetuity in exchange for some DoorDash now, and they don't realize yet that it's not a fair trade. But hopefully they will in adulthood.
I don't think an older child putting on a younger child's coat is a huge burden. Sorry, I just don't.
I certainly don't support Duggar-style parenting where the mother hands the baby off to the oldest sister to raise.
But pitching in and being aware of others with more needs? That's absolutely fine. And necessary. My mother taught me to fetch tea and things like that for an elderly relative when I was a kid. It wasn't about making me some sort of slave. It was about making me aware that other people had needs, too, and it wasn't always about catering to me. I had a lovely childhood, and was very pampered. But my mom wasn't willing to have a completely selfish child.
This is a toxic mentality. Don't do this. You're not from 1920s India. Parenting was optional for you. Yet you took it on anyway and are now complaining that the lifestyle you've chosen costs money.
I don't mind spending all that money, but I do expect kids, especially older ones, to get good grades and be helpful. People should give back and I think the problem we've had, particularly with boys, is that Americans hand their kids everything and don't teach them how to give back. Not even minimally. If you don't teach them along the way, no they do NOT learn about giving back, gratitude, or earning things in life.
Even before I became a parent I started to realize this just by working in schools. There were kids in the office who disrupted learning, had crap grades well below their capability, treated everyone around them like garbage.......and had more expensive wardrobes than I did. That went to the trampoline park every weekend and McDonald's, or the nail salon, regardless of whether they had done anything to earn all that. No, I don't think their mothers were obligated to spend that money because they were the ones that made the decision to have children. I actually thought the opposite was true. They were making their kids worse, and making early criminals out of their boys. The girls were more likely to have police encounters too, and they all got poor results from their education.
By the time they hit their teens, it was too fucking late. They continued to fail and no one hired them because who the fuck would? They were unhelpful and entitled.
But hopefully they will in adulthood.
Yeah, bolding is mine, but come on. If you never bother to teach them values in childhood, they don't sprout them like armpit hairs in adulthood. This is actually a huge part of patriarchy when you have sons- the expectation that Mom is a 24/7 servant and boys aren't expected to lift a finger. It's actually the loser side of it, where parents have created a generation of selfish bums who can't do work because they never had to load the dishwasher. For daughters, they never learn independence, initiative, or stamina because they get whatever they want without having to earn any of it. Then they're miserable because they don't know how to teach their own kids to do better than they did as children.
While I view Western culture as better than various non-Western ones for a million reasons, non-Westerners have us nailed on this one.
It's absolute lunacy that so many of us think it's evil and wicked to have an older child dress a younger one when we're all in a rush, because the older one wants to watch Youtube before school.
No- everybody helps or sushi doesn't happen tonight.
So your youngest is a boy and your oldest is a girl
I keep that deliberately vague just to avoid being doxxed. My child's identity is demonic-gender.
He can't even do effeminate dandy. LOL!
Door frames are a serious daily hazard for him.
🤣🚪🤕
This AGP seems to be the most laidback of the bunch. I still view cross-dressing in public as sexually aggressive and boundary crushing
Men like this are usually ok in public and only show their demon to the women in their lives, sometimes even only their romantic partner(good to their sister and mother) so you're spot on with this.
Men like this are usually ok in public and only show their demon to the women in their lives, sometimes even only their romantic partner
That's the sense I get about him. One day, I want to help that woman find an off-ramp.
My dad told me when I was 4 we had a repair man come in and he had long hair. I loudly announced “you can’t have long hair! Long hair is for girls!”
The guy thought it was funny. As did my dad.
That's where actual gender criticism comes in. Men can have long hair or flowy clothes. Women can have buzz cuts and wear flannel/western shirts and boots. Or similar.
Insisting that long-haired guy in flowy clothes = woman or buzzcut gal in flannel, overalls, and boots = man, that's where we've started running into problems.
Yupppp. And that’s fine. Most of the men I’ve dated have had long hair.
My small child self had never seen it before and was confused :3
I've always been drawn to men with long hair. It pisses me off when I see those memes about how gender identity is nothing new and has like 4 singers from the 80s... I know Prince and the women from Eurythmics I think... I forget the other two. But a man can have long hair and OOOOOZE masculinity. And Prince... no one would EVER think Prince was anything but a man. We snubbed social norms in the 80s - we did NOT believe that borrowing something from the other sex made you anything other than your sex. If anything it emphasized your actual sex.
I think Grace Jones and Boy George were the other two.
You could be right. I don't remember her at all from that era but I do seem to remember the 4th person was someone I didn't recognize.
Boy George... I mean. BOY George. He clearly wasn't trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes and make them think he was a woman. I remember thinking he was a little weird but there was no doubt in my brain that he was a he.
Sameeeeee. I find it very attractive when men have long hair when they keep it well maintained and stuff.
Yeah. The appeal (to me) partly is that it is a bit of a rebellion against gender norms, so the effect is completely reversed if they claim it makes them women.
Sister do you have a podcast? A blog? Because your writing is phenomenal and i'm trying very hard to not fall of the bench laughing during my kids sports training.
I can't help but think if they cared about anyone but themselves, we wouldn't even have Ovarit.
I really miss the gender-bending 80s and 90s when boys in long hair and makeup were genuinely critiquing gender norms and not trying to barge into the girls' locker room.
It used to be so attractive when men did that, now whenever I see it I just assume he's a predatory fetishist.
I resent being turned into such a cranky feminist kill-joy
Seriously, it's wild (or completely predictable, actually) how self-confidence and sanity seem to be the dividing factors in attraction vs. repulsion. Men should own their luscious locks and eyeliner while staying out of women's spaces.
bring back guyliner 🗣️
Ugh love guyliner
Agree. Cross dressing is not really the problem, is it? Men wearing dresses and make-up isn’t an issue - claiming to be a woman is. It’s the men demanding our spaces and pretending to be us that are the problem.
Bob Stinson's pink skirt made me feel seen.