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Open ThreadMom Friday Open Thread
This is our first Mom Friday Open Thread, for moms to talk about what’s on their mind this week.
Rant, rave, boast, ask for advice, share what’s gone well or what’s been difficult.
The thread is yours.
I went to a school performance last night and despite my objections, my daughter's name was still printed in the program as a boy's name. I cried.
My kids (4 years old and 15 months old) have been getting us sick constantly which is rough, but they are mostly sleeping through the night these days. They are at really fun/cute ages so I'm really trying to enjoy it.
I posted here a few weeks ago when we were going through a really rough time, and fortunately things are a lot better now. Things are so up and down with little kids at home, but we're making it through.
Thanks for putting this thread together!
I'm glad to hear this! I was thinking about you the other day. 😊
I've thought about your reply to me several times too. Thanks for the positive vibes! ♥️
Our daughter was supposed to have her first Girl Scouts meeting yesterday. She was so excited about picking out the perfect outfit, asking me to paint her nails, all of that. She talked about how excited she was to make new friends for days on end.
Then we pulled up to the building and it was locked. We waited and waited, until I finally checked my email and... the meeting was last week. It was the fourth Thursday of the month, which I thought was yesterday, but that was actually the 5th Thursday because of Leap Day.
She was so upset that she quietly cried the whole drive back. I felt awful for getting the date wrong. I took her to her favorite shaved ice place to cheer her up but I still feel so guilty for getting her hopes up in the first place.
I'm so sorry that happened. I'm sure you felt awful and that feeling of letting your kid(s) down is so terrible even (especially?) when it's an accident like that.
I do think things like that are good learning opportunities for them though. Seeing how you respond is important. My parents would do stuff like that, but just scream at me if I got disappointed. It taught me I was bad/wrong to have any expectations of people and didn't deserve better. I never heard them say "I'm sorry." It sounds like you didn't deal with it that way and I think that will be good for her in the long run.
I'm still sorry that happened. ♥️
100% this! So many kids just have stuff "happen" to them and no one ever acknowledges that it is disappointing or sad or frustrating for them.
Oh, no
Do that eight to ten more times* and you might be me.
My condolences.
Edit to add *per child
I feel you. I've missed such dates too and while the kids are rightfully sad, it's no big deal. It's not the end of the world. It will be forgotten in a few weeks so dont torture yourself over this.
Oh I feel this one. I've done it myself. Missed an anticipated special event movie my son wanted to see for weeks...we were a day late because I wrote it on my calendar wrong. He was so disappointed, and I felt like an idiot. But the world went on anyway and we all got over it with time. Mistakes happen all the time and we can recover. Just let your daughter know you're sorry. And remember to forgive yourself, too. ❤️
Garden variety mom rant, but I hate that tablet games, which I limit anyway, all seem to be going to subscription models. We have these things out like 1 hour a month. I have apps we've used for 12 years going to a subscription model. I'm not paying $12.99 a month to access kids games once a month, and I have no intention of allowing the tablet out more in justification of the cost. The apps we like are open-ended, not spammy, etc...but now that the changeover is occuring there are ads for their services popping up OVER the game play. Like thanks. I'm sorry you don't make enough money now but I paid for all these apps quite a while back. Leave me alone.
Not sure how old your kids are. I was a single mom, just enough money but extras had to be carefully thought out. I received a "baby bonus" from the govt. I gave that to the kids, plus their allowance, and told them that was for clothes, activities, whatever. If there was a big expense upcoming, I made them plan it, like a new winter parka, or a school trip (I would kick in on those if they were big). One chose a subscription to an online game, and BOTH chose no cell phone. Granted, that was more than 10 years ago, but they got the idea. The money was finite, and their choices were their choices.
I am trying to figure out how to coparent with a manipulator crybully. My kids are smart and emotionally intelligent but young. He makes insidious comments like “we’re getting divorced because your mom deserves to pursue her own happiness” which sounds nice on its face but is really designed to frame the divorce as my selfish choice. So I am trying to learn to deal with that and defend myself without telling my kids too much (my mom overshared about adult issues during my childhood so maybe I’m overcompensating) and without interfering in their relationship with their dad. Like I can’t tell them all the crap he pulled. They wouldn’t even understand it. But I wish I could tell them this isn’t my fault, I’m just choosing not to keep taking all the terrible treatment he kept behind closed doors and behind a screen.
I know this is hard and you have a lot to deal with, but just know that eventually, the kids will see him for who he is. Assholes like that can't hide their true nature from their kids for long
My dad’s mom went through a similar situation and they did figure it out. It gives me hope
You're a better parent than many. I was subjected to parental alienation as a child. I see so many ppl talk complete trash about the other parent right in front of their shared children. It is so damaging. I used to feel such bad feelings as a kid when my mom trashed my dad.
Now that I'm an adult, I can name those feelings, shame, embarassment, frustration. My dad was not a great co-parent and my mom did EVERYTHING. My dad was the epitome of a Disney dad. It must've been horrible for my mom. But the fact remains that I didn't choose to have kids with this man and I didn't ask to be born and I didn't deserve to hear horrible trash gossip constantly.
I empathize with my mom but god damn it was hard for me
Yes, I appreciate my grandma’s example because sometimes it’s really hard to keep the facts and my opinions about my kids’ dad to myself.
I am too tired (nursery illnesses, yay) to post anything much tonight, I just wanted to say thank you for putting this thread together. What a great idea!
I went for an ultrasound of my neck yesterday. Croaky voice issues etc.... Asked for a copy of one of the images she took so I could jokingly send it to my daughter who has sent me her own ultrasound photo of my next grandson (yay). Trying not to be worried about the results of which I have to wait a month to hear about anyway and hoping it's just a silly old person's goitre (such an unpalatable word haha)
We’ve been suffering from the changing of the seasons. It can start the day with a dusting of snow and finish at 70°F. I have three large dogs, bad floors, a double lot, and a small child who always wants to be outside. I’m thinking of investing in a moat around my threshold.
The time for my son to start school draws closer and i'm freaking out more and more on the inside. Because of several reasons. We're very sure that he is some type of nd (when both parents are, chances are very high) and that he might need special help then. I'm afraid of him being bullied (i experienced that myself). Everything is so damn expensive - even when we're looking for a used school backpack, they still can cost alot. And the model needs to be high quality, I dont want it to be a very used model, it has to be a good brand....i'm about to go crazy about it. And I'm never sure if my expectations are too high for him or any child his age or if i'm correct when I say that he should play more age appropriate stuff or needs to concentrate better.
And we're both suffering from massive baby fever. It's insane. I'm the type of mom to never walk past a kid without smiling bright and waving and i've never met a baby that didnt like me immediatly. Today I met a tiny baby walking on shaking chubby legs with a huuuge toothless smile and I wanted to pick her up and shower her with kisses. Didnt do it of course. After having a breakdown two days ago over my babyfever the baby probability of the house has risen again. My IUD is still in place and working but the idea of a second baby is not completly gone. We'll see in a few years maybe. I mean, having a baby in the 30s isnt such a big thing anymore, is it?
Heard you on both school starting/outfitting a growing kid with decent things woes. It’s hard. You’re definitely not alone. Especially with backpacks because you don’t want to keep buying more backpacks. Little kid bags are hard. Does his school have any special rules? Outlet stores, bargains retailers, Walmart, Aldi, and sometimes clearance outdoors retailers are good places for kids outerwear and stuff.
Now about scooping up scrumptious little dumpling babies! OMG. I’m getting a little jabber jawed about my desire to have another to too many people, but I also don’t want to be selfish in any way. Having a child in your thirties is not abnormal, especially not a second child.
We're mostly buying secondhand. And in a few weeks there is a fleemarket made by the kindergarden, we hope to not only make some money but also find some new things for our boy. I'm glad that he is still in that age where no one cares about brands. He just wants dinosaurs 🤣
Where I live most women get their first child in their 30s...
I love how you say "get" like they order it from Amazon lol
haha :) well English is not my first language so I can come to write something silly without realising :)
Do you mean your kid is starting kindergarten? Why does he need a high quality backpack for that? Or do you live in a very expensive country?
I got my kid an Avengers backpack at Wal-Mart for $12 when he started school and it's still perfectly fine 3 years later. My brother got him a Jordan backpack for $60 for his birthday last September and the stupid thing is already breaking, the zipper is messed up.
Nope, for elementary school it has to be a real satchel. Idk if germany is an expensive country but we have so many requirements (by law!) for safety - light reflecting parts for visibility, weight and weight distribution, material, size adjusting etc. The best sets start at around 150€ and go up to 250. It's usually a gift from the grandparents.
His backpack for kindergarden? Not even 5€, chosen purely for the Paw Patrol print.
Wow, I had no idea…
Yep, we were in a shop today for some consultation and fitting and OF COURSE my lil bean needs one certain brand and size. And the saleslady was so nice, friendly and competent, I wish I had the money to buy the set there. And lil bean was so exited!
Consultation and fitting for a backpack?? This is fascinating to me
Yeah, I dont remember this being so complicated during my school days. But now they are super ergonomical to support the young backs, grow with them, need to have a certain amount of light reflecting parts...my Nigel didnt believe me before that this was nessessary before buying a satchel - he was so flabbergasted afterwards. And the saleslady confirmed that they're having yearly training for that. It's fucking rocket science.
That sounds annoying but on the plus side, you probably won't need to do this again for years!
I think it's kinda cool that your govt cares so much about the kids comfort and physical health. When I was in high school there was a whole controversy about heavy backpacks and the damage they were doing to kids backs.
Then after Columbine it was clear backpacks. Bc if those two little scrotes had clear backpacks it would've prevented their terrorist bullshit 🙄
Not sure if I really get to participate in this thread yet, but I am 6 weeks pregnant with my first child. 😊🥳
Congratulations! Welcome to the Mom Team!
Thanks!! ☺️
Congratulations!
Hugs. Take care of yourself. Hope you feel ok
Oh, pregnancy is a marvelous ride! It still amazes me what my body was capable of. Plus, then you get a kid! It's cool!
Come on, let's not lead her on. ;) I'd rather catch the flu twice than experience weeks 7-15 of pregnancy again. And late pregnancy isn't so great either! (Maybe that's what you mean by ride, lol... like a roller coaster. I hate roller coasters.)
For real. I had hyperemesis gravidarum for the ENTIRE 9 months. 24 hours a day. It was a living fucking nightmare
Pregnancy is a marvel. Yes, the first 10 weeks I experienced fatigue, and toward the end constantly spilled food on my giant belly, but for the most part, just minor issues. For childbirth, everything worked like it was supposed to. I wouldn't want to do it twice in one week, but nothing I couldn't handle.
I wish all women had easy pregnancies + births like you
Congratulations and thank you for sharing your news with us! All the motherhood feelings are such a rush!
That's great!! Congratulations