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Need Advice or SupportWhen to end a friendship?
Posted May 15, 2024 by stickofgum in Women

I've had this friend for 4 or 5 years. We've been pretty close but I always felt like I've given more than I got back. Lately when we hang out I feel like I have to suppress this feeling of irritation, and she can sense me being irritated at her. We're just pretty different now. And she has this habit of speaking endlessly and never asking about me, like she could talk to a wall, I wouldn't even have to be there.

Recently she came to my city to visit and I was really excited to see a friend. But when she was here she demanded to change my trip plans and didn't listen to me, and when I wanted to stay in one afternoon she said she would rather make good use of her time and explore the city and said she would go out without me, even though she was here supposedly to celebrate a milestone with me. I felt like she was only here to see the city at my expense and doesn't even like my company. I ended up basically kicking her out of my apartment bc she wouldn't leave, and taking the trip we planned to do together on my own, bc of her consistent rude behavior. I feel so much grief at this bc I really did like our friendship in the past. We tried to talk it out but she just said I should have communicated better and deflected it back on to me.

I think I hold onto this friendship bc I don't have many other friends. But maybe I should just let it go? How do you know when to call it quits?

13 comments

[Deleted]April 24, 2022

I love this show. I love how creepy and mysterious it is and yet also offbeat and comedic. The 70s office decor juxtaposed with the "modern" outside world that is a bit off and empty is really intriguing as is the work they are doing. What's with the scary numbers and the goats? Why has Miss Casey only been alive for a few hours? Does she have an outie or is she just woken up when they need her? What the hell is with the strange "burlesque" show? What happened between the departments? I really hope they actually answer these questions and don't flake out like they did with Lost.

I also love how it depicts corporate culture specifically the weird kind of nonsense "gifts" workers get for essentially tearing themselves apart in servitude to the company - "dont worry that you can never go outside, here's a melon bar", "don't think about the fact that this is the only reality you'll ever know, you get to choose the music for a ten minute party", "don't worry that you can never be in love or even have a friend outside, we'll give you a weird waffle party which is designed to mess with you and make you more loyal to this place."

The other thing I love is how it shows how memory and experience shapes you and if you don't have memory, you're hollow. Things like Irving's obsession with rules and Dylan's finger guards (or whatever they were) become so crucially important to them because there's nothing else to draw on.

I just loved this show. I want to rewatch because there is tons of stuff I missed, but its so good IMO.

/end ramble

sarstanApril 28, 2022

I think you love Severance as much as I do. Yay us!

J-HalleckApril 24, 2022

I love Severance. Unlike so much science fiction I see on television, it's smart, well acted, and absolutely logical. It reminds me of the work of Tom Disch, who dealt with a similar themes of mental splitting and servitude.

What Severance depicts is a new kind of slavery, in which workers are induced to enslave a part of themselves. It casts a fascinating light on corporate power, culture, the ways in which workers rebel (Dylan was my hero from the very first.)

sarstanApril 28, 2022

I thought it was the best show I've seen in ages. My thoughts echo ones below, so I don't have much else to add.

[Deleted]April 24, 2022

Oh my gosh, so timely! I honestly tried to get through the first 2 episodes with some difficulty when it first began. I wasn’t going to try again but yesterday I couldn’t find anything that grabbed me and started over.

I re-watched episodes 1 and 2 and am now on episode 6.

I worked within a corporate setting for quite a few years. This show is pretty incisive about corporate culture and how upper management wants staff to be drones. Tiny spoiler: I think more corporations would happily chip employees to simply do the work and forget home and family obligations completely while at work.

I will continue watching because it is so well-written, acted and directed. I hope that I can get to the deeper messages after I finish watching.

It has been renewed for season two so I don’t expect all the plot lines will be neatly tied up in season one.

[Deleted]April 24, 2022

Brilliant show. One thing I didn't get though was Mark severing in order to deal with his grief. But how does he feel the benefits of it? He still experiences his depressed grieving existence continually, and mostly in the dark. I know a lot of that time is also him sleeping but it just seems like he is shortening his time alive which isn't very effective. I don't really understand the benefits to him.

Also, does anyone have any theories yet on what kind of work they're doing? What do you think about the theory that they're all dead (Mark died in the car crash along with his wife) and their consciousness is in a simulation?

deepblueoceanApril 27, 2022

My theory was that the 'work' they are doing really is meaningless bullshit - it makes them feel like they are doing something useful with their time and lets them satisfy compliance reports. The severance technology is the main thing of value the company is producing and the point is to sell that to everyone, not to have their office drones use their time efficiently.

[Deleted]April 27, 2022

Yeah, maybe. The baby goats "not being ready" could suggest they in a testing/trialing period of the technology and the workers are the test subjects. But what about the scary numbers? It just seems too significant to be busy-work.

deepblueoceanApril 27, 2022

The scary numbers seemed to me exactly what busy work would look like - manipulating spreadsheets dumbed down to the maximal extent. But it is entirely possible there is a hidden meaning there.

ActualWendyApril 27, 2022

I read an AMA with the show’s creator on reddit. He said they really are in a real place, they aren’t dead or in a simulation.

[Deleted]April 27, 2022

Oh interesting. But I wonder what that means for the dead wife?

I'll go have a look at that AMA

J-HalleckApril 24, 2022(Edited April 24, 2022)

>! Interesting idea, but it doesn't jibe with the fact that Lumen is an issue in the outside world. How would Mark's sister and BIL fit in?

What if what they are doing is marking specific individuals for death somehow? !<

[Deleted]April 24, 2022

True, it doesn't explain that bit. And yeah that was one of my first thoughts too, and it would explain why the numbers feel "scary".

So much mystery and symbolism. I'm definitely gonna be watching it through again.