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QuestionWhat gift would make you feel loved?
Anything slightly related to my interests. Anything in general. Despite men thinking they own Loneliness (tm), not every woman is accustomed to having gifts or flowers rocket-launched her way.
I suppose if someone got me a cute notebook I would know they love me, because they'd be enabling my obsession with stationary, and encouraging me to write more.
This is it. Anything that indicates you’ve met me.
Most women are extremely easy to shop for because we love so much and most of us find lots of joy in the little things! I think it’s one of the many reasons our mental health is so much better than men’s despite the world being so much harder on us and easier on them.
If you know what scent she likes (or even if she likes fruit or floral scents), get her a candle or lotion in that scent. And if you know her beyond that, get more specific. The more specific the gift the better.
A hand made card. Other than that, one of my brothers always sends gifts that make me feel loved. He sends fancy boxed chocolates for my birthday every year because he knows I love chocolates and I would never spend the money on these myself. He has also given me several original paintings, drawings and bracelets from his travels. Those things mean a lot to me because even though we don't talk much, he knows my taste in art and it makes me feel special to be known and thought of in this way.
My fondest memory with my ex-husband was related to a gift he picked out. We had eaten at a Mexican restaurant that had majolica lizards on the wall of the women's bathroom. I admired them and when he came back from the restroom, I asked if the men's room had them too. He said no and asked what they were like. Then several months later on my birthday, I opened a gift bag from him and pulled out this big flat metal lizard wall decoration with little mirror shards glued onto it. It wasn't something I would have ever picked out and I was confused until he said, "Cause remember you liked those lizards at the restaurant?" He thought that I must love lizards in general, but I thought it was so sweet that he remembered and I hung that thing right next to our front door so that we both saw it anytime we came in the house. 🙂 You could even see it from the street. I have a couple other gift stories, but my comment is already long.
A room of my own. My art studio is and has always been part of a larger living or bedroom space. I would love to have a studio with a door to lock that's mine and mine only.
The ones that have made me feel so loved came from my daughter.
Once she crocheted me a Tom Baker Dr Who.
Another time she filled a small photo album with pictures of my cat that she'd taken.
They don't cost much but the thought and time put into them meant the world to me. That and they were gifts that she knew I'd really love.
My Nigel went and found the exact rosebush I had planted in our old house to commemorate my dad. It was difficult to find, but he found it and planted it in our new yard.
My wife brings me tea in bed every morning, then we sit together and noodle around on the internet. It makes me feel so loved to open my eyes to a big, steaming mug of tea on my nightstand. I wish we could all start our days like that.
My partner used to make coffee for both of us every weekend, to lure me out of bed (he usually gets up earlier than me) and I really loved it. But then we bought an espresso machine and now, when it's so easy to make coffee (just one button), he can't lure me out of bed with coffee, but I sometimes miss the feeling of waking up to a fresh smell of coffee.
Being excited about something I cooked and actually eating it
When I first moved in with my husband, he would get so excited about the meals I made that he'd get up and run a little victory lap around the room. It was hilarious. And it made me feel amazing, since my first husband did nothing but criticize my cooking. Current husband is still very enthusiastic about my meals when it's my turn to cook, even if he doesn't run around anymore.
Haha yea I used to love cooking but it seems I have to force my food onto people and it doesn't matter what I cook or who it's for. Even at parties when I make a variety of things it all goes mostly untouched. I always seem to end up being friends or partnered with women who aren't enthusiastic about food :(
At the moment, a decent pair of house slippers. I got a pair recently at the thrift store for $3, and they're okay if I'm wearing socks, but not great without. The weather is going to get to "no socks" levels pretty soon, I reckon, which will make for sad feet with the present slipper's sock requirement. When I've tried to look for a new pair that's maybe more than $3 and better with bare feet, my brain gives me the budgeting guilt trip of "extravagant frivolity", so I make due with the thrift store ones.
Cooked restaurant-like dinner. Unfortunatelly neither of us loves cooking, so me and my partner often cook as a present.
Think the best gifts are the ones that make people feel seen and understood, if only in a microcosm. The ones that show the giver was listening when the receiver was talking about something that matters to them, that the things they love are noticed. Something that reflects an inside joke or a fond memory you share. Something that dovetails in with a facet of their personality and suits their tastes. Something that meets a want or a need that they haven't addressed for themselves. Often if you just keep it in mind when interacting with someone, they give you a lot of information to work with. Think the best gifts come out of that. And conversely, the worst gifts can make you feel like someone doesn't know you at all.
This is so incredibly true. Presents have been a sensitive subject for me for all my life bc my family never gave me a decent present. Because of this, I have made a point of giving really meaningful gifts. Then, I finally gave up bc it was never reciprocated. I literally cannot remember the last time I got a decent present that I did not explicitly ask for. Not one.
My best guess as an internet stranger would be a gift certificate to whichever local nursery seems to have the most interesting selection of plants, maybe tucked into a good-quality journal to use as a designated 'commonplace book.'
This is heartbreaking. I feel so sad for women who experience this. It seems really common.
I have this great partner who does wonderful things for me year round, but the whole bday thing seems to elude him. I just decided to embrace it. I've become an atheist's witness ;). I just don't celebrate any holiday anymore. I don't even remember his bday anymore. We always remember mine, though, bc it is cursed. Of late, the entire month of Oct is cursed. Last bday I celebrated I fell incredibly ill from a tumor. So, yeah: no more birthdays for me, thanks.
As long as you really don’t care (and aren’t just trying to convince yourself you don’t), and as long as he really is doing wonderful things all year round…wouldn’t be surprised if you deserved better tho
Yeah. It doesn't really matter what it is, can be something as simple as "I've noticed you're always cold, here's a nice woolen sweater and a pair of warm socks".
(I've read that the second-best thing is gifts that express the personality of the giver. Like, when your friend likes to crochet and crochets you a pair of oven gloves that you perhaps don't exactly need, it is still nice to have them because they remind you of her. Still beats being given a bottle of wine when everyone should know that you don't drink. I can't say if I think that's true; my mother gives me self-knit sweaters, but I am, as a matter of fact, always cold, so I like them for that reason, too.)
This.