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RantI Finally Broke Up With “Harold”
I am furious beyond words, mostly at myself for not seeing this sooner.
I’ve posted about my friend “Harold” before, who essentially just uses me for emotional dumping, whether that’s trauma-dumping about his family or gabbing about his “harem anime” lifestyle. Important context is that he is black and I am white. I am attractive, he really is not conventionally. I have a husband, three children, and am a homeowner. He is broke, smokes a lot of weed, and is basically a bitter incel.
Because I have insight into the industry, I agreed to go out to lunch with him to discuss writing. We went to a cheap diner and spent a couple hours of… me listening to his rambling, disjointed professions of wanting to write a science fiction novel. It was a barrier and a drag on my day but I endured because I’ve known him for years and want to see him move up and beyond in the world instead of just living like he’s in community college forever (that’s how we met.)
I invited him to events that ultimately lowered my social capital because he is a socially awkward and self-obsessed oversharer and mega-cringe. Meanwhile he was always benefitting socially from being seen with me.
This culminated in him posting a selfie of us together. One of his male friends commented “skin man”, which I can only perceive as drawing attention to our different skin color, and either an accusation of fetishism or a kind of “nice, man” congratulation. Either way it is damaging to my reputation as a married woman with children, whose friends and family could see that selfie and the comments on it. I expressed to him that I thought I deserved an apology and he demanded I take it up with his friend. I said, “no way” and he accused me of forcing him to choose between two friends. I said “I just want a private apology for what he said” and he refused, saying it would be “emasculating” and only serve to make me feel “better”.
I expressed that if he really feels that way, I don’t want him interacting with people I care about because I have an obligation to protect them. He was so offended he blocked me. He was my “friend” for over a decade and I’m kind of reeling, but recognizing that I did nothing but give, and the day I asked for an apology for his friend’s shitty comment on our photo I got blocked.
Ladies, and especially girls, be wary of male friendships! They just want to fuck you, and will say that they did when you fall out of sorts out of spite.