15
AdviceBi crisis
(Posting here since I don't think this would fall in line with o/LovingWomen's rules.)
I'm pretty sure I'm straight, and I've only ever had crushes on males. I have a long term romantic interest in a man who I'm honored to also call a very good friend. But every so often, I've seen a woman who will put me into a thought spiral of "am I bisexual?" for a week or two. A girl in one of my classes in 2021. A woman on a Discord server in 2022.
And now earlier this year. I got interested in advocacy within my community and made some new social media accounts because of it, so I wouldn't have to engage in local matters under the Iota Aurigae username and essentially doxx myself. One of the more active people in the community I settled into is a woman with a positive attitude and cool hair.
She's a pretty great person, so I think I was just naturally drawn to her since she's the type you want to interact with. Early last month, I began to think she was pretty cute, and I just thought it was the same thing that had happened before, where I would think a woman was cute for a week or two and then forget about it.
I didn't forget about it, though. In fact, I saw her at an in-person event a couple of weeks after that. I think she's shorter than me, and she has a cute face. She began to look my way and I got nervous and self-conscious about my appearance, so I looked down and pretended I hadn't seen her. I don't think she realized it was me, even though I had shared some pictures of myself on the social media page I created.
It's really just snowballed from there. I had considered taking the train to the event early in the morning, partially because she had planned to take the same train, but I ended up taking a later one so I could sleep in. I really wish I'd sucked it up and taken the earlier train.
I sometimes happen to take public transit routes that she takes, and I've taken photos in her area for a hobby. Every time, I hope I happen to see her, but I also don't, because I have a tendency to get embarrassing intrusive thoughts about people who I'm into or otherwise care about.
I've thought about kissing her, and (NSFW)
Am I overthinking? I have had a tendency to overthink things in the past, so I could be here, too.
TLDR: my occasional "am I bisexual" crisis has returned bearing the gift of a gal with cool hair.