11
Open ThreadMom Friday Open Thread
This is our Mom Friday Open Thread, for moms to talk about what’s on their mind this week.
Rant, rave, boast, ask for advice, share what’s gone well or what’s been difficult.
The thread is yours.
It's Saturday here in NZ :) But yesterday was another empty day. Spent putting on a false façade, a smile on my face and talking about stuff that is inconsequential to how I'm really feeling inside.
Don't like to bother my children, so I keep it inside. I don't feel connected to anything anymore. I cry a lot and then thankfully my self-preservation kicks in, I take a deep breath, be grateful I'm not hungry, cold or homeless and carry on til next time.
Hugs, sister
Could it be that there is some depression?
I love my kids but they are not dependable for emotional support
What are you doing for you? Journaling, finding a professional therapist, building friendships for yourself, hobbies etc?
Some depression? Yes. Can't afford a counsellor. It's been a tough few months. I joined the Women's Rights Party and that gives me a tribe of my age but miss being called on as a mum/Abuelita. I will get through this. I let my guard down when I added to this thread. I went out after I posted it...into the sunshine where I made myself smile at and talk to people :)
It sounds like you are good at self care
It is hard to find time/money for counseling, and it isn’t for everyone. Plus some counselors are not good
I found that through journaling I could be my own counselor in a way
I could work out dilemmas. Writing is a different part of the brain than speaking or hearing
To self soothe I’d write my concern. Then Id treat the concern as I would if someone else came to be with it. It did help me work through things and exhaust them and get them out of my head
Well the countdown's on till Christmas and this is the first one in school and my poor addled brain is struggling to remember all the things. All of the things. Christmas jumper day, children in need day, non uniform this and odd socks that, donations for this, drinks after school, parties here, parties there, this half term has already been a lot! I'm kind of halfway there on Xmas shopping and really struggling with the second half. Apparently since the pandemic I find Xmas really tough so I was trying not to cry in the shops listening to the Xmas music. I don't know, there's a lot of grief bound up in it and I'm trying not to let my son see but it gets the better of me sometimes.
Christmas jumper day, children in need day, non uniform this and odd socks that, donations for this, drinks after school, parties here, parties there, this half term has already been a lot!
There are so many "special" days at school that I quickly learned to ignore them. At the end of the school year they have a whole monthlong countdown of special days ("stripes day" etc). I told my son that if it was important to him, he needed to keep track of them himself and work it all out himself. He's been doing that since second grade... he seems to participate in maybe half of them (always skipping the more extreme ones like "pajama day" or "silly hat day" but doing the ones that are just for a color of shirt or something). I know mostly it's mothers keeping track of all that nonsense (which I really don't think is important to kids - especially when there are so many days - if they had only 2-3 special days like that during the school year they would be more fun!).
I'd also like to rant about other little things teachers ask for that cause excess work for parents... like "make a - meaningful to the kid - dish to bring to the class harvest party" for an elementary kid. My son's teacher actually specified nothing storebought! I shamelessly sent him to school with nothing (I'd offered him some prepackaged food to bring but he rejected it because of her rule)... last year, I would have made something at home with him, but this year he has a baby sister and I am worn out with zero fucks to give right now.
Nothing store bought? What a fucking cheek. It really boils my piss how having children makes it socially acceptable for random people to demand unpaid female labour (realistically, you know this is directed at mothers...). Also what is a "meaningful dish" to most young kids? Half of them just want chicken nuggets and pizza... nothing I cook from scratch actually gets elevated to meaningful status, I'm lucky if it gets eaten haha
According to him, none of the kids even ate any of the homemade foods that were brought ...because apparently none were cookies/cake... and the "room mother" volunteer had purchased juice boxes and a few other sweets to supplement the party. So the kids were full enough with that stuff and their regular lunches.
Also what is a "meaningful dish" to most young kids? Half of them just want chicken nuggets and pizza... nothing I cook from scratch actually gets elevated to meaningful status, I'm lucky if it gets eaten haha
For real.
Honestly though this school I think they prefer shop-bought, if you make anything yourself (eg for bake sales) you have to send in a full ingredients list (for allergens obviously, which like fine). But yeah, it's literally a ton of extra work for parents (haha mothers). My poor brain is fried already.
I got my kids some Gabb watches on a Black Friday deal so i can finally get rid of their smart phones (which their father's family got them). Pretty thrilled about that.
Firmly third trimester
Our second baby has suddenly started saying interesting things and is willing to somewhat entertain logic, and is going back to be a delight to be around. The terrible twos are... Tough.