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DiscussionIs anyone else being pressured into transitioning?
I'm a pretty masculine woman. I'm also a lesbian. For the past three years or so, several people in my family and friend circle have been constantly needling me about my "gender presentation". My mother in particular keeps asking me whether I'm a man/whether I want to be a man/whether I identify as a man, etc. Sometimes, though rarely, she even refers to me as her "son" (always in a sad, dejected voice). I know that she's worried about me and that it comes from a place of care, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make her understand that masculine lesbians are... a thing. She's not the only one - my ex girlfriend also constantly questions whether I am truly a man deep down, and so do several friends and acquaintances. Even friends of friends insist that I'm a transman or nonbinary when they see pictures of me. It seems that, during the past few years, it has become unimaginable to be a woman who has short hair, dresses exclusively in man's clothes and underwear, uses men's hygiene products, refuses to shave or wear makeup, works out, and has a "masculine" body language. Even people who know how trans-critical I am and that I would NEVER take hormones or undergo surgery still insist that I'm a man. I think the worst feeling is when someone is saddened by my butchness and tells me that I should accept my womanhood; that I don't have to be ~ a man ~ to enjoy life... when that is EXACTLY my point! I know that people have always been disgusted by masculine women, but this insistence that I'm truly a man at my core, or that I should at least WANT to be a man, is very new. I also never before experienced the new amount of hostility when I use women's spaces (toilets, women's parking lots, changing areas, etc.). To be clear, I always react well to women who are hostile to me in women's spaces, and I congratulate them on keeping our spaces safe from men and looking out for themselves and other women. Usually the issue resolves itself right away - but it's definitely a sign that we are all constantly alert and on edge, and that masculine women are being erased on a scale I don't think we've seen before.
To be honest, it has a terrible impact on my mood.
Are there any women, regardless of sexual orientation, who share this experience?