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Need Advice or SupportMy male coworker is now a "lesbian"
Posted April 19, 2022 by MangoFruit in Women

EDIT: thanks for the advice everyone! I can't thoughtfully respond to each person but I found a lot of really good suggestions here. I think I have the ideas I need to make it all work until I can go remote or hopefully my section will get more alloted office space and I can move into my own office.

It's unfortunate, I really just view him as this sad man with no confidence and someone who could have used some real therapy. Through his own words he sees "being a woman" as the easier life path. I know much of what he is looking for is attention, belonging, and acceptance and I wish he could have found it somewhere real with real friends and a real supportive community rather than being told that all his issues are that he's trans and if he just admitted it everything will change. Regardless I am never going to be available for a man to utilize as a costume guide.

Original: Does anyone (maybe a lesbian or bi lady) have any experience with dealing with a male coworker coming out as a "trans lesbian"?

I have to work closely with this guy, we literally share an office space with us and one other woman, gray rock isn't a true option, or at least not one I can utilize fully. He already was a "liberal incel" with no boundries and no filter so I'm sure it's all about to get way worse. I had a feeling this was his next step so my prior plan was last the next year and a half to get my certifications and then go to a new city and job, hopefully before he announced his transition. I was already in the midst of dealing with him running roughshod over my work and taking credit for my ideas so this is just a new layer of shit to navigate. But overall our profesional relationship was functional, albeit awkward and annoying at times.

I can't switch jobs, I can't get a new office, and I can't go fully remote for the foreseeable future (it would suck to be fully remote too, although that will be better than dealing with this guy).

How do you handle a coworker you can't really cut out in a super close working team or shared office? I live in a fairly conservative southern state, and my saving grace is that I am mostly open about being GC and have had nothing but agreement in my office so far. My boss would also do what she could to help me, she would also keep anything I said discreet and definitely wouldn't report or lecture me. But it's also a city job so I would likely be on the losing end of any complaints he made.

He's already circulated a photo of himself in a dress and regaled the office with tales of how spinny dresses just give him such confidence and self worth as a woman. He said he has an appointment to start the process of hormones next week even though he literally only "realized his truth" two weeks ago! It's fucking astounding and I just really need to get some walls up before this dude goes off the rails.

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