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NordicModelNow [OP]January 18, 2024
Many experts consider rape to be more or less decriminalised in England and Wales. Last year, only about 1% of the 68,109 rapes recorded by police resulted in a conviction.
This webinar will ask whether we need to reconsider how we think about rape. Maybe the very idea of “consent” is flawed. Doesn’t it suggest that sex is something done by someone (no doubt male) to someone else (typically female)? What does that imply about the status of women versus the status of men? And is the legal definition of consent part of the problem?
How does prostitution impact on this understanding? Some economists consider that what is being bought in prostitution is not “sex” but rather the control of sex. He pays so he is in control and if she wants to be paid, she has no choice but to go along with it regardless whether it is painful, terrifying, or gross. What is the meaning of “consent” in that scenario? And how does it affect men’s understanding of sex with an (unpaid) intimate partner?
What about pornography? A recent study found that 90% of mainstream internet porn involves verbal, physical and/or sexual violence, often in violation of laws against sexism, racism, violence, and even torture. How is that impacting all of our understandings of sexual relationships?
We are thrilled that Wendy Murphy, a US professor of Sexual Violence and Law Reform, will be speaking at this webinar, along with Esther, a British survivor of prostitution with extensive knowledge of the legal system in England and Wales.
This webinar is free but you need to register in advance on Eventbrite.
This webinar will ask whether we need to reconsider how we think about rape. Maybe the very idea of “consent” is flawed. Doesn’t it suggest that sex is something done by someone (no doubt male) to someone else (typically female)? What does that imply about the status of women versus the status of men? And is the legal definition of consent part of the problem?
I highly doubt that changing how we (meaning feminist women) think about sex will change anything about how men think about raping us. They don't really care about the thoughts in our heads.
Honestly, it might be better for women if we forced men to admit that sex (at least the PIV variety) IS something they do to women, and something harmful at that, and forced them to change the law so that a woman doesn't need to prove that she did not consent to sex, but that the man has to prove that she did consent.
People don't like to confront the fact that PIV harms women even when it's consensual, but if there's any way changing how we think about sex can help combat rape, it's admitting the truth, and forcing law-makers to take the truth into consideration.
Blood donation is very normalized in our society, but if you were randomly attacked by someone with a syringe trying to steal your blood, they'd go to prison no matter how much they tried to argue that you've donated blood a hundred times and are therefore a person who has no problem having their blood taken away.
That's because we, as society, acknowledge that donating blood harms the donor even if it is consensual.
This is one of my favorite talking point in regards to porn. I’m a millennial. When people my age are skeptical about my anti-porn position, this is one of the best ways I can quickly get the point across.
The vast majority of women who aren’t in the dating scene and haven’t been for a while, have no idea that women are routinely slapped, restrained, forced, and strangled in their initial sexual encounters with partners - with zero warning or request for consent. These women are shocked to find out what it’s like for young or single women now.
It used to be that even for the most benign sex acts, when with a new partner you would talk about if you like a, b, c. I’m not talking about “kinks” or violence, I’m talking about “do you want me to touch your breasts”. Or at least some hesitation, and waiting to see if there was a response. And the vast majority of men wouldn’t have even agreed to strangle their partner, no matter how much she said she “likes it”. My first couple boyfriends (and from the reports of my friends, theirs as well) were worried about hurting me when messing around normally , simply because these are very sensitive areas we’re dealing with! And I’m sure some of them had seen some internet porn by then, but it was nothing compared to today.
Todays porn has absolutely effected how young girls are understanding consent. They think consent to violence is included in consent to sex. I feel so sorry for them. I was at the very tail end of a generation who got to experience sex without the influence of mountains of extreme porn. I don’t think I’ll ever experience it again, and I know those born after me didn’t even get a chance.
Porn is the downfall of society.
This, too.
I focused more on the fact that women shouldn't be assumed to be consenting, by default, to basic normal PIV sex, but we also need to acknowledge that "consent" only works in "risk versus benefit" situations, not in "certain damage to health with risk of death" situations.
People get this when it comes to medical procedures (well, used to get it, before gender surgery got fashionable), but seem, for some reason, unable to understand it once happy penis feelings get involved.
Might be the result of women being assumed to consent to PIV. Those other acts of brutality are all considered "sex" and women are considered to be consenting to "sex" by default.