24
I enjoy a lot of different kinds of games from all sorts of studios, targeted towards all sorts of demographics. Sometimes I want to play a gigantic, sprawling RPG like Baldur's Gate 3. Sometimes I want to survive in the hostile Amazon with Green Hell. Sometimes I want to immerse myself in a melancholy world and absurd character with Disco Elysium. I like sneaking around in the OG Thief games and in their spiritual successor, the Dishonored series. I've been known to blow some people up in an FPS or two, but it's not my favorite kind of game. Heck, I still even love The Sims.
You get it. I enjoy a lot of games, even those made by guys and tailored towards other guys (aka most games), as long as they're tasteful enough about it.
But I am aware that most games don't speak to what I might reservedly or even hesitantly call my "feminine" side, so to speak, and those which do tend to kind of infantilize it. Not that I don't also love playing cozy games with cartoonish elements that awaken my inner child, but until I found this game, I didn't know how hungry I was for a gentle but deeply rich and intellectual game, with a mature aesthetic.
Book of Hours is not a game for everyone. Many will find its mechanics too obscure. It does very little hand-holding. And many of those who enjoy it will nonetheless give up on it simply because precious few people have time to immerse themselves in a game like this. 100% understandable. But for the few who can spare the space for it, it is totally unique.
The game is produced by Weather Factory, and was written by Lottie Bevan (a woman) and Alexis Kennedy (a man). It is a relaxed standalone companion to a much more frenetic game known as Cultist Simulator, and my understanding is that they exist in the same universe.
The premise of Book of Hours is that you are the Librarian of a sprawling estate in the English countryside--an estate known as Hush House. You start out understanding very little of what is going on. It is quite possible that you will end understanding very little of what is going on, but along the way you will be receiving tidbits of lore that you can piece together into a strange but consistent picture if you pay close attention.
Other than the Library itself and its contents, the game is chiefly card-based. There are Memory cards, which can represent concepts like the current weather, ephemeral or lasting insights, and lessons you've gained from, among other things, reading the many books in Hush House.
Then you have your Elements of the Soul cards. In this lore, the human soul has nine parts: Health, Chor, Ereb, Mettle, Phost, Wist, Fet, and Trist.
Next are your skill cards. Naming a few just to give a taste: Insects & Nectars, Disciplines of the Hammer, Sky Stories, Serpents & Venoms, Ragged Crossroads, Sacra Limiae, Watchman's Paradoxes. There are dozens of these.
The last panel of cards represents a sort of card inventory. They include currency (both the standard English tender of the early 20th century, when the game takes place, and the occult coinage known as spintriae), assistance that you can hire or have hired for the day, Incident cards that represent esoteric events going on in the world, and whatever unusual visitors have arrived either by invitation or to consult the Library about an Incident, among other miscellania.
Pretty much everything in the game has one or more Aspects. These Aspects are: Nectar, Heart, Grail, Edge, Sky, Lantern, Forge, Moth, Rose, Knock, Moon, Winter, and Scale.
Every single room of the colossal estate must be deliberately unlocked room by room with the assistance of villagers and other hirelings, raising their Aspects to the point that they are capable of cleaning up rubble or removing curses or whatever is keeping you from the room.
Books (and phonograph/film recordings, which behave mostly similarly) have a Mystery level corresponding to one of the Aspects, and the goal is to gather enough of those Aspects using an Element of the Soul, a Skill, a Memory, and if applicable, a Language (also considered a kind of Skill). As your skills increase via lessons from the books you read, and your Elements of the Soul become more powerful as you combine them, it will become feasible to read more difficult and powerful books. Each book you read gives you snippets of the text and/or musings on the content. Lore in this game is its own reward, and it is incredibly complex and interwoven.
Crafting is also a huge thing. Using specific Skills, Aspects, and components on certain crafting stations (like a giant telescope, a strange altar, or a workbench, to name a few), you can produce both items and Memories, which can be used for their Aspects or sometimes for more specific purposes in more crafting.
The pause button is vital, but the seasons pass. Gardening allows for harvesting of different flowers, fruits, and vegetables depending on the season. Most Memories are lost with each new dawn, with a couple of ways to potentially preserve one through the night, and with others that are powerful enough to persist.
But even those are lost after the mystical, single-day season of Numa passes, when the plants in the garden transform into strange and rare blossoms and fruits. Numa comes once every nine seasons, but one is never sure when. When it arrives, you must rush to do everything you can.
Numa is the only true time constraint in the game, discouraging you from hoarding all your persistent memories and lessons indefinitely. After all, there are better and more interesting things to do in Numa than frantically attempt to use up everything you've been holding onto, so it's best not to let things lie for too long, lest the labyrinth season take you by surprise.
The ostensible goal of the game is to write a new History in your Journal with an Ink of Power. I won't get into what that means too much; as I mentioned before, the lore is the main reward in this game, and the way it's dispensed in these little tidbits is masterful.
And what lore it is. The world-building is--and I mean this sincerely--the best I have ever seen. This is not just a game written by a writer. This is a game written by an author. It has a beautifully distinctive literary tone throughout. There are plenty of clever and humorous bits, while many other passages still give me chills even now. An incredible amount of research must have been done into occultism, as well as the time period and region. Both the similarities to our world (our History?) and the differences are equally compelling. I cannot be effusive enough about the writing.
Meanwhile, you can organize the Library however you wish. You can take the busts of the previous Librarians found throughout the House, learn who they are from various lore-scraps, and place them in their labeled niches, or you can ignore everything and leave it as disorganized as I am in real life.
There are things I haven't mentioned, some of which because this already is becoming a novella, and others because I have barely discovered them myself. Resolving Incidents, finding Treasures of the House...I've finished this game (no small feat in and of itself) a few times already, and I'm still experimenting and learning.
There is a DLC, House of Light. Much of this DLC is devoted to inviting guests over and having "Salons" aka a meal and a discussion. You can cook different courses for them via the oven. Certain courses are required for salons at different tables and times of day (elevenses, afternoon tea, dinner). I love it. Highly recommended. It's basically just integrated into the game.
Anyway, I felt that you could tell that a woman's voice was extremely strong in this game, without it being sanitized or idealized or dumbed down or "cute." Of course all women are different, and what it means to be "feminine" is broad and contentious, I felt that it was a game that many mature female gamers would appreciate.
Thanks for reading!
Hello!
I hesitated to post because I am white and I felt the best advice would come from your black sisters - mine might be pretty worthless.
However, one thing I think is that male attention is not something that you should place much value upon. I say this as an older woman and my guess is you are a younger woman. My best advice would be to focus on your own goals and achievements. It can be a hobby, an academic goal, a sporting goal for yourself. Something that you are interested in and that you may or may not excel at. Do things for you. See how much you can accomplish.
And apologies if my advice was a bit crap.
I don't know how old you are or what your life situation is, but my recommendation would be to travel.
Outside the community you're currently in, the dynamic of "preferences" will be very different. There will be worse places but there will also be much better places.
If you are living somewhere where people make fun of your skin and hair it's time to move.
I agree. You’ve got to mentally or physically transport yourself away from that sort of perverse, materialistic culture, and unfortunately that means cutting ties and habits most of the time.
Detach yourself from the idea that other people, especially people who don't know you, get to decide your worth.
The way these people have treated you says more about them than it does about you and that is their issue, you aren't required to change their minds or persuade them to be different.
If someone is racist they have told you a lot about themselves and there is no need to desire their good graces, you don't have the same opinions or morals.
It's possible to waste years of your life hoping to get approval from people who have no willingness to give it. Or you can minimize contact and thoughts about such people as much as possible and focus on the things that make you happy, make your life better, and people who actually respect you.
Do you have long term goals and aspirations? When I was in my mid 20s, I heard about "financial independence" and at that point decided to spend my next 10 years saving and investing. This was a goal I could see the progress as I went along, and I didn't have any need to compare to others, only myself year over year. Incidentally, I dropped all the spending habits women are pressured into in service of my goal, which also helps me not compare myself to other women.
It could be a lot of things: a degree, a promotion or certain position, a hobby, a house, a family. Whatever it is, I felt like I really grew and grounded from making a 10 year plan. It was the first time in my life, becoming an adult, that I considered my future and what I wanted it to look like.
Best wishes.
In my experience, filling yourself up with activities that fill your soul doesn’t erase bad feelings, but it definitely makes them look less large.
I second @xadphrone’s advice about financial independence, because I deeply regret that u didn’t do that in my 20s and 30s, and I think the only way out of patriarchy is for women to be financially strong.
But also, I would suggest taking that mental energy and pouring it into something that matters to you outside of work: volunteering, athletic activities, fine art, travel, writing, etc. Whatever it is that you long to do, go do that. Put the 10,000 hours of deliberate practice into something that makes your hear sing.
For all people say “we are human beings, not human doings,” I really believe we build self-confidence through deliberate, focused action. Not to say introspection isn’t good, but by itself, it just becomes navel gazing. Speaking from personal experience.
That maybe if I had her appearance he would pay attention to me. The fact that I am black latina makes it a little more complicated. It hurts when latino men prefer white latina women. Even black latino men prefer white latina women.
Wishing they looked different is something many many women do, there is a $trillion industry around selling us that dream. We have been taught to think that if we fit all the right stereotypes then society will have more respect for us.
if only I was prettier people would treat me better
if only my skin and hair looked different they would treat me better.
The list of "flaws" goes on and on and on and on.
At first, it does work - ask any woman who has gained, then lost a lot of weight just how different people treat them through that journey.
Women suffer more from social anxiety, prejudice, and inequality based on their appearance. Sadly you won't improve the opinions of shallow or racist people. I'm with you, I would avoid those types as they are not worth your time or energy. Find a social circle that lifts you up and makes you happy.
With the dudes you are interested in, stop criticizing yourself for not being "enough", and ask what is he bringing to the table. What makes him such a catch? Often not much.
Well, the guys I like are very attractive. But from life experiences. Attractive guys are accustomed to have pretty privilege. So I avoid them. Most of them have a horrible personality and are shallow.
Well, yeah. That is true. I remember when Doja Cat shaved her hair and everybody criticize her. They even made of fun of her before because her nose looks "weird". But since she changed her looks she doesn't care anymore. And thanks for the advice!
Maybe try to understand and have empathy for white women so your feeling toward them isn't going to be about the attention you're not getting from latino men.
I've absolutely been there, wishing I had some other features (like being skinny) and envy women with them. It's not a fun place to be, and I definitely knew there were times that turned into things like resentment etc. But I do think just developing curiosity toward those women and their experiences is what helped me keep these negative feelings in check. I can talk to those women, reality-check myself and have that reminder that they're just normal people, and end up feeling sympathy for the struggles they have.
I have a relevant story I can share with you. It may help you see things from another angle.
I'm white as a lily, and living and working in an area that is racially diverse with a large Latino population, and immigrants. Being the size that I am, I don't get much attention from white men. I used to feel insecure about when I was younger but right now, I'm more terrified of male attention, especially just random strangers. I freeze up when they hit on me and I'm grateful more don't.. BUT the fetishization of white women among many latino, black and immigrant men does affect me. They are almost exclusively the only men who hit on me lately.. and I always get disgusted or terrified when it happens.
Recently, I started a new job. My supervisor is taking too much interest in me. I'm not putting effort into my appearance, I'm not being too friendly.. its just that he doesn't work with many women, much less white women. He's been asking inappropriate questions, such as where I live and if I'm married. He's trying really hard. And of course he does it privately when no one is around, so I don't have evidence to prove this is happening. It's not nice to have that kind of fetishy attention, it can be downright scary.
I also know a white man who fetishize asians, and it creeped me out when he told me. He's been really revealing himself lately. I think no matter the specific races involved, the men who fetishize and only care about one type of race or one type of look, don't really see women as people. You're not missing out when they don't give you their attention, because that type of man has no value as a partner at all.
I admit I do not know the latino community well enough, but I really do hope there are some men in the mix who don't have these fetishes and would love you for all of you.
Respectfully, I disagree with the empathy part. Not necessarily because the attention they receive from latino men. But for their racism. So been there done that and it didn't work. White women in general don't care about black women. Unless they use them as tokens. Yeah pretty common that latino men fetishize white women.
I think this is normal and not something you should beat yourself up about. Maybe it can also be helpful to remember that men are totally worthless and that racist men are even more worthless than the regular ones?
Weird. I'm Italian American and the African American women at work won't keep their hands out of my freaking hair. If it's revenge for some past digression they experienced....well, sorry, but that's not my fault. In any event, I wish they'd stop touching my damn hair.
I don't do anything that I wouldn't like others do to me. Being a person from a racial minority doesn't give them the right to violate other people's boundaries.
There's a sad little girl inside you that needs a lot of love and attention and mothering. Be her mother and give it to her. Tell her the things a loving mother would tell her. Get a picture of yourself as a little girl and really see and feel how precious she is. Tell her she is the cutest thing you ever saw and treat her that way from now on. That would be my from-the-hip advice.
Thanks. ❤️