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Daily(ish) questionQuestion for the Femmes: What’s your style and how do you signal?
A lot of comments in the past here from other femmes is the annoying scenario that people assume you’re “straight” all because you dress feminine.
It makes sense to me then why the term “domme femme” has been making the rounds with other lesbians, because in order to be seen by other women who’s attention we are trying to get, we must be a little bit more assertive in signaling. At least that’s how I see the term at its face value, not going too into the actual semantics of it.
If I see a woman I like, I assess her vibe. If she’s vibing with me and likes my presence then I’ll go talk to her, I’ll make explicit and obvious eye contact and I’ll brush her arm with my hand lightly to see if she’s reciprocating my energy. It might be considered “assertive” by archaic standards, but it’s effective, intimate, and a positive way to signal that “I’m a lesbian and I’m into you”. Of course there’s also the wearing the keys on a carabiner on your pant leg which is another obvious signal I do. And short nails. Flashing the hands is very important!
I’m not high femme in that I wear high heels, get my nails done every few weeks, and wear makeup, things that to me only a high femme does. I like getting my hair done, I love wearing cute dresses and skirts, but I do so wearing sneakers. Practical comfort femme is me! 😆
I’d say I subscribe to the cottagecore and bohemian vibe, but like…elegant. If I had the money to dress completely how I’d want to look, I’d probably end up dressing more as old money rich auntie 😆 those two vibes end up making me feel like a goddess if I find the perfect hip hugging maxi dress that’s one solid color. I don’t like the overly in your face styles with skin showing everywhere, shreds of clothing, or tulle. Again, practical comfort!
So femmes, what’s your style and how do you signal?
Aha. I was just about to post this. Saw it on a left wing forum I post to. They are all saying he's doing it to get out of hate crime charges. I simply posted, "that's great, now they can decide if they want to go to a male or female prison." Haven't gotten any down votes yet, but give it time. Because no man would pretend to be not a man to get into a female space.
But I thought we were not supposed to question self-ID and “lived experience”? Get woke, go broke. Hoisted by their own petard yet again.
Yeah, it's me and an old gay guy going against the woke on that forum. He's already been told he's not really gay and really a Republican or a self loathing gay.
told he's not really gay and really a Republican or a self loathing gay.
so...he can't self-ID, only they can self-ID? And they know better than he does who he is? So is there like, a tribunal that gets to decide? I am running out of snorts.
Thank you and thank the old gay guy.
This whole stupid movement will eventually collapse on itself. There's no way to get around it. It completely fails logic. The further it progresses, the closer it comes to its inevitable stupid end. We just have to wait it out. Regrettable though women's rights will be collateral damage.
The tragedy of another shooting in America. The victims, the holidays, the families, the rest of their lives.
But nobody would claim a false identity to make their lives easier, would they?
If they insist on this argument, they can’t also argue “trans” women in women’s prison isn’t also gaming the system.
I went over to Daily Kos and they are claiming his lawyers didn't claim this: it was in a footnote. They say he is trolling. I guess the Left doesn't believe trans and nonbinary people anymore?
Right?! The amount of hypocrisy in these circles is mind-boggling. Aren't we supposed to believe folks' gender self-ID without question? Who gives them the right to question this person's gender? What's the line between someone genuinely identifying that way and someone trolling? Also, doesn't this "never happen"? Sheesh.
The only people who are actually queer are the ones who perform it online in the proper way.
That would be my guess too but I guess we'll see. Hopefully a ridiculous farce like that will make a lot of people realize exactly how ridiculous it is.
My kneejerk assumption is that he's trolling, not that he's trying to get out of consequences.
Although a less likely possibility is that he does identify as some flavor of trans and had something against this club for reasons other than right-wing homophobia. A lot of TIPs are profoundly homophobic, but another possibility is that he was a customer at this club at some point and became fixated on it for some reason. There have been two mass shootings in the past 15 years in my city which involved an anti-social loser being welcomed by very nice, friendly people, and they paid for it with their lives.
Yeah, that second is so true I got multiple stalkers during my early 20s for foolishly being merely friendly toward socially challenged creepy males in my college classes, thinking the other girls were being mean or shallow for harshly shunning the ugly losers from all conversations.. Nope there's a reason you stay far, far away when your creep radar goes off and don't feel sorry for them.
As someone who had a hard time making friends, I was always friendly towards the other outcasts. College me learned my lesson very quickly: girl outcasts only.
Same. I was like "they just need a friend!!!" and oh boy did I learn my lesson 🤣
Or he has beef with someone in the community who is a regular at that club
They are all saying he's doing it to get out of hate crime charges
Isn't he? He's identifying as "non-binary" to reduce his hate crime charges
"I wasn't homophobic or affected by bias! I was just an adherent of a homophobic, biased "gender" ideology who was in the wrong place at the wrong time!"
What's with all the TRAs claiming Mx. Aldrich is trolling? When we said big bust shop teacher is trolling women it fell on deaf ears. Why is the claim of trolling accepted in this case but not that?
My observation was TRAs did claim the big bust shop teacher was a troll, especially when it became apparent that the general public was disapproving of him. Dude still gets to wear his fetish gear around school children though
Because big bust shop teacher didn't shoot up a gay bar. They need to prove he's trolling so it doesn't make them look bad.
And when we say men are trolling to get into women’s prisons we are bigots but just because it affects them now he must be trolling?
Dammit, JK! I don't know how you did it again but ... somehow you did!
Super creepy threads on reddit in response to this shooting- "arm your local queer", desire to conceal carry, bragging about their new ammunition stockpiles, encouraging each other to take up guns as a hobby, basically all circlejerking each other about the need to arm trans people for the coming holocaust and showdown with right wingers. They were really working themselves up in that echo chamber.
It's actually crazy how fast they escalate their rhetoric, you can see parallels with neo-nazis. They just figured the trick- they are untouchable as long as they call everyone else nazis first.
Contrast that to literally any other shooting, the left and moderate response is to call for gun control, and the right calls for a gun craze.
This is all male-pattern violence. Doesn't matter if the man wears striped thigh-high socks and paints his AR with glitter, or wears a camo hat and maga shirt, or boogaloo patches on his ammo vest, or is a schlumpy 22-year-old who styles himself "Mx.". All men, all violent, all wrong.
It’s scary these mentally ill people would have guns at all. Being “trans” should be an automatic disqualification.
Not even being 72 hour-ed counts against you for gun ownership, has to be a court ordered mental facility confinement (because of HIPAA essentially). For gun background check reform I think that's the first thing I would advocate: any involuntary stay inpatient counts against you with a process for appeal that can be rarely granted. (Some holds are done at the request of others by unethical police or doctors). My only reservation on this is how to create a registery that won't get hacked or leaked or used in any situation other than gun ownership
Holy fuck. Well, this is bad for the TRA narrative.
I had wondered if the shooter was a self-hating closet case. Not quite, but not far off.
I'm just pissed we have to watch the mainstream media fall over themselves to deny that this person is male. Then again, that's definitely going to peak the masses, so maybe it's a silver lining.
You can hear the great woke borg’s screeching brakes as they speed off back to the churn factory to rewrite their ‘stochastic terrorism’ narrative.
We could take bets! 1: they pivot 2: they double down
They doubled down. I was reading about another horrific mass shooting in the US that just happened (it's a day ending with y) and of course there's this:
The Virginia shooting comes three days after a person opened fire at a gay nightclub in Colorado, killing five people and wounding 17. That shooter, who is nonbinary, was arrested after patrons at the club tackled and beat them.
Even if you murder five innocent people, you can know the Associated Press will still make sure to respect your feelings! Gaslighting mass murder victims and survivors is a new low. Every single person knows these are all acts of male violence.
Well, just look at how MSM went above and beyond to protect Ezra Miller and his speshul pwonouns. It literally is the get-out-of-jail-free card of the current year.
I would also like to jump in here and laugh at all the "scholastic terrorism" typos I see on memes about this. Because yes.
hahaha. I haven't seen that but that's hilarious. I think we should use that term for the schools teaching kids that girls are barbies and men are gi joes.
I bet people will be scouring his social media trying to find out if he was a genderspecial prior to now. I think the results of that will be a big factor in how this gets spun.
You can hear the great woke borg’s screeching brakes as they speed off back to the churn factory to rewrite their ‘stochastic terrorism’ narrative.
Such a great comment. I’m snort-laughing out loud! 😂
Ah, come on, that’s too easy for a bet! Narcissists NEVER admit when they’re wrong.
Yet somehow I'm sure they'll still find a way to blame TERFs (read: women).
I bet they'll blame his mother. "She was twansphobic and that's why they developed self-hatred and contempt for their own kin!"
They already are in the news article I just read saying his parents split when he was a toddler and his mother was arrested for arson. So because his parents had a divorce. it’s totally fine and expected for him to shoot people.
He should have been taken from his mother and sent to CA, a trans sanctuary state!
Of course he is. Names changes, a "they", this is rich. Good luck making him out as a transphobe assholes. He's your boy.
or your...it?
So a pronoun person went into an LGBT club and murdered people…
….this ideology still remains the most homophobic thing I’ve ever seen.
So a member of their own cult, and by their rules he must be considered as, went out to kill homosexual people. Part of me wonders why so many TRAs are upset when he is just putting their words and death threats towards women and men who won't sleep with the opposite sex into action. This is what gender ideology has been promoting all this time while the shooter gets to be anything he says he is without question.
I would hazard a guess TRAs are more upset we "terfs" have been proven right than they are about loss of life.
I completely agree. “Kill all TERFS” are their words that they use repeatedly. Again and again they incite violence against any dissent and actively wish death upon any who do not take their identity seriously.
Are they really so shocked that someone did what they said?
The entitlement and unhinged dogmatic cultist 'with us or against us' mentality definitely doesn't help them. Always working themselves up into a violent hateful frenzy in their gross echo chambers.
Oh lordy - so did he get rejected by someone there and go all incel rage?
What bloody insanity.
Edit: just read about him - another chronically online mentally ill child, who grows up to be a violent teenager.
Yeah, he's a fucking mess:
Violent father, broken family, domestic violence, bullying, practically a recipe for how to create a mass shooter.
The dad's an MMA journeyman and porn... journeyman. Kid never had a chance.
Not true.
My mother had me just to pimp me to her paedo boy friends, told me I’d be killed when I was no longer useful. All kinds of chaotic abuse, neglect and insanity in my bio family genetics and environment growing up. In and out of care but always sent back to her. Several genetic disabilities to make it tougher also.
I have never harmed anyone ever, and have helped plenty other survivors or children in care.
Of course there’s risk of victims turning into predators, but it’s not a guarantee by any stretch (it’s mostly in men, women tend to be at risk of revictimisation). Male socialisation plays a big role in the entitlement to act out on others as does the damage porn does to brain development and escalation of paraphilia’s and violence). But even then it’s not a fore gone conclusion that men with this background will automatically have no chance. I’ve known plenty men in similar roles in residential social work and similar, who helped others like I did despite the same backgrounds to this/me.
With the exception of adults who don’t have capacity or adults who are deemed legally insane, adults are responsible for their choices.
Not doubting that there’s a cycle of abuse or that many men growing up in this way can pose a risk to others, and that a lot more needs implemented in schools and communities to have early intervention to stop this, but it’s not as simple as he never had a chance or recipe for mass shooter etc. he had choices and chances like the rest of us who grow up being victimised.
(Not meaning to be ranty, I know it’s not meant as an absolute. It’s just it’s not helpful to frame victims of this shit as never having a chance, the same way it’s not a good message to tell children with gender dysphoria that they are at high risk of suicide. There’s always an element of choice and opportunities to be better than the shit hand we get dealt-legal insanity and not having capacity being the exception. There’s always hundreds of chances to not victimise others. For men also. Boys need to hear that they can choose to be better than this and when they aren’t it’s on them, not any fore gone conclusion they are powerless to change).
Hugs
Exactly.
Women who are harmed don’t make it the world’s problem
At worse they harm themselves
Thank you for the hard-won wisdom and much respect to you for your courage.
Agency and responsibility are real, though complex and hard to see clearly.
That’s a much better way to put it!
I dunno, what you said is probably way more convincing. Because you've lived it.
What?! Not a MAGA Proud Boy??? How dare the dad not follow The Narrative?
They're also supposed to be Mormons so it feels like reality is collapsing in upon itself.
There is a trans Oath Keeper going to prison for the attack on the Capitol on January 6th. So you can be trans and MAGA, and somehow that doesn't cause a rip in the space time continuum or reality collapse in on itself.
Then again this wasn't really covered in MSM. Hardly anyone knows about it and I barely recall hearing about this. Hmmm I wonder if MSM will now suddenly stop covering thus shooting? 🧐
I think it was revealed that his grandfather was a MAGA moron representative somewhere though.
So the “sins of the grandfather” clause…
This backwards cult is totally not a backwards cult
Apparently the grandpa had nothing to do with the son and helped the grandson change his name?
What a clusterfuck.
It's a shame. He deserved better. Now the rest of the world has to deal with the fallout.
"The attack was halted by two club patrons including Richard Fierro, who told reporters that he took a handgun from Aldrich, hit them with it and pinned them down with help from another person." The stupid they/them pronouns make this sentence unnecessarily confusing.
They (ha!) always do. You'd think that there would be a universal editor's revolt based just on that.
On KF the birdwatchers dug up some receipts that his father was a porn actor with the ridiculous pseudonym of “Dick Delaware.” Now I want that to take off as a pejorative nickname for Biden. 🤪
Relevant Conan skit: “Awareness Del” stars in a tourism campaign making people aware of Delaware. Oh believe me, we’re aware.
https://youtu.be/XDUTYo26Op4?t=370 (at 6:10)
Holy shit, the TRAs on Wikipedia are quick.
His child, Anderson Lee Aldrich (born Nicholas Franklin Brink), is the accused gunperson in the Club Q shooting on November 19, 2022.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Brink
"Gunperson" isn't even a fucking word. They're already denying the shooter is male.
Molly White (aka GorillaWarfare and unknown sock accounts) probably jumped into action. She’s Wikipedia’s resident TRA-caping handmaiden. The Taylor Lorenz of “community fact-checkers.” Also known as co-admin on Elliott/Liz Dong Gone’s page, responsible for editing out any reference to his “consent accidents” (aka rape). The memory-holing is strong with these ones.
I have literally now heard everything. I can imagine the rage of the families of victims and those who were terrified in the club by this maniac, this male man maniac, being enraged by these fucking shallow superficial bullshit word games. Let's start calling bloodshed, red-body-fluid-shed, RBFS.
It doesn't matter if they deny the shooter is male, everyone already knew that he was. Before anything about his sex was even released.
Violent father who's a porn actor and anabolic steroid abuser.
I did some more research. The father is or was a meth addict. He's also been on a few reality television shows. He was on an episode of Intervention in which he admitted he masturbated 10-12 hours a day. He was also on an episode of Divorce Court.
did he get rejected by someone there and go all incel rage?
This was my immediate thought. Or several somebodies who didn't properly recognize his specialness
I'm sure they'll find a way to keep blaming JKR and the LGBA somehow. It's the new "thanks Obama".
Remember to let any employers who have posted about this or articles you have seen about this know that it is NOT OKAY to misgender!!!!! There's no fault in making a mistake, but now that we know, the posts should be corrected.
KNOW BETTER DO BETTER
I'm somewhere between amused that the gunman would pull such a stunt and annoyed at the fact they might not take his word for it like they would other trans identified criminals. Then worried at how women will be blamed for it.
Love how this went from the immediate reaction ‘this is JKRs fault’
‘Is he pretending to be NB to get out of blame’
And ‘we should wait fir the info
And ‘I’m going to need records going back several years to believe this’
Now that he's nonbinary, the mainstream media is making excuses for him. I can't figure out how to post a screenshot but Ben Collins of NBC is going on about his tough childhood.
Well according to TRAs we have to respect everyone’s identities. We’ll see if they accept him as non binary
They haven’t at all on Reddit, people are saying “I don’t care what he says! He’s still a man!” In non binary circles which is…. Interesting
“I don’t care what he says! He’s still a man!”
Ahahahahaha welcome to reality where we have been saying this for literally years.
But if you are a Blessed and Our Non Binary Immaculate Gender Aligned Person, you can say this. But woe betide any women who dares utter 'maybe this rapist is calling himself female to get into a woman's prison'. Cognitive dissonance at its finest!
It is a horrible event, and I saw people casting blame every which way they could. One person blamed JKR specifically.
This happens again and again. When are people going to learn to wait to find out information, and cast blame only on the person or persons responsible? Yes, if someone sponsored an act of violence, or help they are included in that blame.
Wishing all those who were injured a complete recovery. Condolences to the loved ones of those who were killed.
You can't make this up. Colorado Springs Police Department posted this yesterday on Facebook. Wonder if they'll do the same for the gunman.
Update to Shooting at Club Q:
Too often society loses track of the victims of these sad and tragic events. We strive to give victims the dignity and respect they deserve, as well as shine the light of public attention to the victims. Therefore, we are identifying them now.
We respect all of our community members, including our LGBTQ+ community. Therefore we will be identifying the victims by how they identified themselves and how their families have loved and identified them.
Kelly Loving: She/Her Daniel Aston: He/Him Derrick Rump: He/Him Ashley Paugh: She/Her Raymond Green Vance: He/Him
This makes me sad. These victims were more than a she/her. To be remembered by a pair of pronouns is grim.
Wow.
I was idly wondering while reading unrelated news this morning, why is there this custom of giving the age of people mentioned or quoted in a story, when it's not relevant.
Now I'm waiting for the powers that be to institute the new custom of mentioning the pronouns of every person.
The liberation of Kherson from Russian occupation was a serious psychological blow for President Putin, 70 (he/him), that has left him fearing for his life, a senior military adviser in President Zelensky’s office has said.
Kherson was Ukraine’s biggest victory on the battlefield and came after a series of humiliating retreats by Russia’s army in the Kharkiv and Donbas regions. “This has forced even people who are very loyal to Putin to doubt that they can win this war,” Arestovich, 47 (he/him), said.
He said Kherson’s, 244 (they/them), liberation (it/its) had triggered renewed Russian, 475 (they/them), strikes on the country’s (it/its) infrastructure (it/its) and plans for a fresh offensive (it/its) from Belarus, 32 (they/them) a Russian ally to the north of Ukraine, 1042 (they/them). Putin’s troops (they/them) advanced on Kyiv, 1182 (they/them), from Belarus during the early stages (they/them) of the war (it/its), but were forced to retreat after stiff resistance (it/its).
Exhausting! Reporters will need a raise.
[Edit: corrected a misgendering]
hahahaha...I think ages given for deceased makes sense...especially if they are young. People struggle to make sense of children and young adults 'going before their time' so it's a natural question for readers.
Love the use of Putin. Surprised there are no zie/zirs in Russia's army?
Love the use of Putin. Surprised there are no zie/zirs in Russia's army?
You’d think there would be, considering all the “Z” things he’s made into a fascist badge of honor. 🫡
well this is perfect to show everyone how dangerous self identity is...
non-binary but still retains male pattern violence... how ever could that be
New York Times reporter first noted it on Twitter. https://twitter.com/NickAtNews/status/1595230623865643008
God help me, but I laughed at this. Let's see how the TRAs react to THIS news! They'll probably just find a way to blame TERFs for it.
I'm honestly not sure this will ever be shared more widely. The attack was horrific, hands down, but folks jumped immediately to using this as a "proof case" of the harm of what anyone that errs toward the gender critical side has ever said.
So is Twitter still arguing that the person to blame isn't the shooter, but a figurehead in the ideology they've ascribed to the shooter, or...?
This is still JKRs fault
More so than ever in fact
Definitely to get out of hate crime charges for that piece of human refuse. Wonder if it was the murderer's idea or I would guess his lawyers' idea.
If it's sincere, the trans narrative of the atrocity is turned upside down. If it's disingenuous, puts the lie to all the criminals suddenly claiming to be trans for more lenient treatment or transfer to women's prison.
You mean like that convicted rapist got out of rape charge by identifying as a woman, because the law where he is says women can't rape? There was a thread about this just recently.
If the rapist's identity a can't be questioned and is ok by TRAs rules, then surely Mx. Aldrich's motive can't be questioned and is ok.
Yep I'm sure that is their hope. We will see how long people keep tolerating the nonsense but they can't seem to stop themselves from caring about males' feelings above all logic and reason.
You just know he's doing this to get out of the hate crime charges.
And so proving that people will self-ID prison time away. And self-ID into women’s prisons but yeah…this never happens!!
Or if he changed his name a while ago then it would seem that he wouldn’t be trolling?
But first degree murder is a much higher charge, with the most severe sentence, so doubtful.
I have never experienced such a nihilistic, schadenfraude-drenched spurt of laughter until I saw this just now. How are Esqueer and Ben Collins and all the other hacks and ideologues wailing about MAGA and TERFs going to square this circle? Y’all got played.
yep, they got played, but this was ineveitable. "This never happens" comes home to their own backyard.
I snorted.
"It was the TERFS FAULT!! They oppressed Mx Aldrich by misgendering trans folx all over Twitter after Elon took over!! It filled them with internalized non-binaryphobia and Mx Aldrich had no choice but to execute queers and trans people just as JK Rowling commanded!!!"
Color me surprised. If anyone can be trans/nonbinary on a whim, then no one is at this point