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Serious DiscussionBi Women's Boyfriends (at Pride)
I'm seeing a lot of discourse between lesbians asking bi women to not bring their straight boyfriends to pride, and then the response of well he's an ally/he's supporting me, or worst of all 'well how can you tell so and so is straight' from the same people who treat being gay as having a weird haircut and freckle tattoos.
Maybe I'm all mixed up about it. Because I get the idea of not being perceived as gay...it's more that when it happens to me, either it's a straight man who is sexualizing me or trying to get something out of me, or a misogynistic gay man who doesn't recognize that we share a struggle. Someone looking for validation online about bringing their boyfriend to pride doesn't understand I don't even get to ask 'can I bring my girlfriend into this Uber, this grocery store, my family reunion.' I just get to live in fear, I just get to quickly break hands apart and pretend to be sisters.
I don't feel like bi women aren't entitled to the support they can get, I suppose it's not like I resent people who have supportive parents and bring them. But in practice these men are often not actually all that accepting. They tolerate the idea because they don't see sapphic relations as as serious, they even enjoy the idea sometimes like 'hahaha we comment on how hot random women are together.' He can be lying to get into her pants, or worse they can both just not get why it's not okay to sexualize us and that their ultimate cool girl fantasy ain't it.
For that split-second attraction, I definitely do double takes disproportionately at more masculine women. I don't care at all when it comes to partners, however.
Appearance-wise, I tend to be attracted to women who are very "womanly". Curvy, big hips, etc. I don't care if she's more masc or fem presenting, if she has a nice pair of thighs I'm probably gonna look.
It's not what I prioritize when looking for a steady partner, there are other factors more important than appearance. But as of now, I've been married for many years and I get to have it all. =p
I'm neither butch or femme, and prefer women who are either butch or femme or neither/a mix.
prefer women who are either butch or femme or neither/a mix.
Isn't this...all women?
I definitely myself am appearance wise on the masculine butch side of things. I prefer a woman who is stunningly feminine and beautiful. I'm almost exclusively attracted to straight women. And I have super high standards in who I am attracted to. I don't mind a chubby woman if her face is beautiful. The face has got to be beautiful it's the face that does it for me. A good example of the kind of woman I am talking about is miss peru 1998 mariana larrabure de orbegoso, a very feminine and beautiful woman.
I find masc women stunning. Wasn't sure where I'd be on the poll though because I wouldn't say I'm overly masc or femme.