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QuestionDo you feel welcome in gay bars?
Posted July 27, 2024 by ScintillatingRuby in Lesbians

Was out with two straight women, drinking and chatting, and the subject turned to gay bars. One of them was basically “straight-splaining” to me how welcoming “LGBTQRSWTF” spaces are… and I tried, unsuccessfully, to explain my perspective.

I have been refused entry into gay bars when with ex-girlfriends because both of us are femme. I have been groped by straight men in gay bars. I have been groped by gay men in gay bars. I have been spiked, I have been stared at, I have been followed into the toilets by a trans-identifying man who attempted to assault me in the cubicle. I have been sexualised, with both men and women suggesting a threesome should I display any affection to my partner. As for lesbian bars… the one in my city proudly boasts that it’s open to all, including “allies” (straight men) for any/every event, any night of the week, so that’s right out. I just don’t go - haven’t been to anything “pride” in years, and obviously I avoid gay bars due to the number of trans-identifying men.

They were telling me how gay bars are great, they’ve always been allowed in, and everyone should be allowed in. Maybe it’s different if you go out with gay men, but I’ve found that gay men dislike me once they find out I’m a lesbian. They didn’t believe that I’ve been stared at in a lesbian bar for kissing my girlfriend by a man - with the counter-example proposed being two straight women just chatting!?

Is it just me that experiences such animosity from gay bars?

2 comments

Lady_MerlinFebruary 21, 2021(Edited February 21, 2021)

When I created the poll, I ordered the options from furthest left politically to furthest right, with a couple other options on the bottom. The poll was not displayed in the order I entered. The way it was displayed is fine, but I would prefer if the options were displayed in the order I chose in subsequent polls I create. Additionally, it would be nice to enter more than six options.

girl_undoneAdminFebruary 22, 2021

Curious! Thanks for the report.