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I'm bisexual and just live my life... I think many of us do. I won't deny that people tend to deny and stereotype bisexuals. And that they make our orientation revolve around the heteropatriarchy, when that shouldn't be the case. But there's some Youtuber who claims she's super bisexual. She has lots of followers. But she cames across as such an attention seeker. I don't understand why you have to revolve a channel about 'outfit tips' to look gay, to constantly talk about your orientation, when it turns out that you have a boyfriend.

Of course having a boyfriend doesn't mean a woman isn't bisexual. But generally if you identify as bi for a while and you're openly non-straight (bi/lesbian) you will have shitty experiences and that's why I find it very strange she makes a party out of being bisexual, seemingly never having to suffer the struggles of being in a same sex relationship.

I wouldnt say I am closeted, but I don't make gay struggles and fun about myself when I had nothing to do with it for years and when I pass as straight...

Her name is Dutchy on YouTube, and this video is... so cringy. Just her whole body language. To me she only seems to reinforce a negative stereotype so I don't get why she has so many followers.

I'm bisexual and just live my life... I think many of us do. I won't deny that people tend to deny and stereotype bisexuals. And that they make our orientation revolve around the heteropatriarchy, when that shouldn't be the case. But there's some Youtuber who claims she's super bisexual. She has lots of followers. But she cames across as such an attention seeker. I don't understand why you have to revolve a channel about 'outfit tips' to look gay, to constantly talk about your orientation, when it turns out that you have a boyfriend. **Of course having a boyfriend doesn't mean a woman isn't bisexual.** But generally if you identify as bi for a while and you're openly non-straight (bi/lesbian) you will have shitty experiences and that's why I find it very strange she makes a party out of being bisexual, seemingly never having to suffer the struggles of being in a same sex relationship. I wouldnt say I am closeted, but I don't make gay struggles and fun about myself when I had nothing to do with it for years and when I pass as straight... Her name is Dutchy on YouTube, and [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyT0XaB5egc&t=378s) video is... so cringy. Just her whole body language. To me she only seems to reinforce a negative stereotype so I don't get why she has so many followers.

11 comments

[–] Jack_the_Lass 12 points Edited

I'm a lesbian and I used to ID as bisexual (a common path for lesbians, I know).

I agree that bi people are unnecessarily and unfairly stereotyped. However, I find it really frustrating that bi women who are, for all intents and purposes, heteroromantic (the "i like to have threesomes with my boyfriend" type) get to speak over women who actually live with and love other women in lgbt spaces, and then have the audacity to complain about their stereotypes. Yes, I am stereotyping some bi women in this statement, but there are a lot of bi women that do this. And they're not doing any favors to their fellow bi women either - the type who actually date and love other women. These types of women are all over r/actuallesbians shutting down the...actual lesbians.

Its frustrating. They don't share the same experiences as lesbians or bi women who date other women. I would not argue that a woman in hetero relationship is no longer bi, but no, you don't get to claim a "queer" experience without actually having a queer experience. (I mean this about women who have fucked other women but not actually dated them).

I'm sorry if my little rant offends any bisexual people here. I would assume if you're in this space "loving women" you are not the bisexual person I am speaking about.

IDK if I am expressing my feelings correctly. I just get frustrated.

edit for a typo

100% agree with all of this as a bi woman, it makes no sense to claim you are queer and oppressed when you will never have to introduce a same sex partner to your conservative family, deal with feeling unsafe when you walk hand in hand on the street etc., having a threesome isn't the same as loving women. Most threesomes are done in secret and won't affect those particular bi womens career and social life. This shouldn't be offensive to anyone.

I'm bi and honestly these type of bi women make be not voice my sexuality at all. it makes me ashamed to be bi. I WISH I was a lesbian so damn much.

They take over lesbian labels, call them gay, and my main pet peeve is that they love to claim how the "community" is discriminatory towards them when they date men..but the MAJORITY of bi women DATE AND MARRY MEN! Het-partnered bi women make up the majority of bi women...bi women who prefer women are the minority but for some reason they feel they are discriminated against. Please. Everyone praises and supports bi women who date men, it's expected preferred and quite literally praised!. Bi wlw/febfems are expected to date men when we don't want to and are essentially called "transphobic" etc because we prefer women.

I'm bi and I see people of all sexes and orientations shitting on bisexual women way more often than I see bisexual women being cringe.

I've known a couple "threesomes with my boyfriend" type bisexuals and honestly? They usually end up leaving their boyfriend for a woman. My lesbian cousin met her wife that way.
Obviously it's cringe to seek threesomes with your boyfriend, and I'm personally monogamous as hell and I hate threesomes in general. But they are usually doing it because they genuinely like women, in my experience.

I'm just pissed right now because people have been shitting on me for being bisexual since I came out at 14, I just want it to fucking stop. There's no fucking dignity in this life. Are bisexual women out there committing hate crimes or oppressing women? No? Then leave us the fuck alone already (not you personally, people in general). "Bisexual women are privileged" yeah we have the highest rape statistics of any sexual minority, real fucking privileged. I felt real privileged when my TIM exes were raping me and everyone was pressuring me to date trans because "you're bisexual, so you don't mind chicks with dicks right? Best of both worlds right????" As if I'm supposed to instantly agree that a woman with a penis is a "superior woman" for fuck's sake, as if my own fucking genitalia are inferior and I should prefer dick. Not that a "woman with a penis" is even a real fucking possibility as it turns out.

Sorry this got personal.

I've known a couple "threesomes with my boyfriend" type bisexuals and honestly? They usually end up leaving their boyfriend for a woman.

lol wish I had seen this. you shouldn't take this post personal if you feel it doesn't describe you, I don't shit on bisexual women as I am one myself but the woman in the video acts as if she really embodies the bisexual experience by just wearing 'gay clothing' - there's not even a reason for her to call herself gay because she is in a fxcking straight relationship, she's the kind of bisexual that makes us look like attention seekers .

also agree with the rest you said, TIM's are men and they don't hestitate to rape bisexual women. I also agree bi women have the highest rape rate of women aside of TIM's as my ex used to coerce me into having sex with him and his friend in a MMF threesome.

Thanks for this, I couldn't stand to watch the video because admittedly I was pretty triggered. And not as in "I saw something that made me feel vaguely unhappy" but actual trauma.

I suspect there's an absolute epidemic of TIMs raping bisexual women right now.

I also agree bi women have the highest rape rate of women aside of TIM's

Yah as much as TIMs like to masquerade as "the most oppressed minority" I'm pretty sure the sexual violence rates against bisexual women are higher, as I recall.

my ex used to coerce me into having sex with him and his friend in a MMF threesome.

Ugh I'm so sorry. I've also been coerced into threesomes with my ex. It's a real problem. I'm a very monogamous person, but it's like the concept of a monogamous bisexual doesn't exist for people.

I'm sorry the video was triggering for you, I have no such intention. <3 TIM's can't be the most oppressed minority, they're often white men who can afford health insurance... I have decided I will no longer disclose my sexuality to men and people I don't know very well.

Omg. There's an Irish youtuber called Melanie Murphy who is literally married to a man yet has several videos saying she's just as discriminated against as lesbians and also whines that lesbians won't date bisexuals even though she openly admitted she'd never want to "end up" with a woman. She thinks lesbians are biphobic because they don't want to debase themselves by being her play toy until she finds a real partner (a male).

These types of women are extremely male identified.