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I'm meeting up with a woman who I have a crush on and I'm VERY nervous
I made a post in a different circle a few months ago about a woman who I was starting to catch feelings for, but I was still debating whether or not I was actually bisexual. At some point in December I just bit the bullet and admitted that those feelings are strong enough that I probably am.
I'm just very inexperienced in romance fields. I've never had the best social skills, and I've always been a very awkward person. I find it much easier to talk to people online, so it's not much of a surprise that the last few people I've been interested in have been internet friends.
This woman is also someone I met online, but we live in the same area, and have had a few instances where we've come so close to meeting each other. I know that I should take initiative and go for it myself instead of waiting to bump into each other on public transit, so I asked her if she wanted to meet someplace.
For reference, I'm 19. The last time I met up offline with someone I had a crush on was at the lunch table in middle school. I've gone the better part of a decade without experiencing that and getting a feel for how to handle the nerves.
I'm self-conscious and a little worried that she'll spot the things that I'm nitpicky over, and I also want to make a good impression. I overthink too much, so maybe it's just that.
Thoughts?
First, good on you for the initiative. That can be pretty nerve-wracking especially if you're not used to it. Second, some bad news: you'll probably always feel some level of nervousness, and that's okay (as long as it's not crippling).
I'm self-conscious and a little worried that she'll spot the things that I'm nitpicky over, and I also want to make a good impression. I overthink too much, so maybe it's just that.
It probably is just that indeed. She might be feeling the same. And if she does spot these things, it's not the end of world either: if you two get along they won't be a dealbreaker. And if they are a dealbreaker for her, then at least you know you weren't compatible on that level, no harm done.
You don't have to stay in your head about it though, I'd probably say something like "so, I'll admit I'm a bit nervous, so apologies in advance if it makes me act a bit cringe" and laugh about it a bit, rather than insist on projecting a perfect image. It lowers the stakes too. You're probably gonna be just fine. Good luck!
Just try to relax and be yourself. If you feel awkward and don't know what to say, ask an open ended question. Find out what interests her.
I always liked going for a walk for a first date. You can work off a little nervous energy, and if you're walking someplace fun, the landscape gives you things to talk about. Picnics are fun, too.
Dating is hard when you're shy or awkward, but it can be a lot of fun, too. Best of luck to you.
I knew it!
Anyway, awkwardness can be sexy. It means there's tension.
Lmao yeah, I was thinking I would just follow wherever it led me and see what I was feeling in a few months.
As for the tension part, I've never really thought about it that way.