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AdviceBi crisis
(Posting here since I don't think this would fall in line with o/LovingWomen's rules.)
I'm pretty sure I'm straight, and I've only ever had crushes on males. I have a long term romantic interest in a man who I'm honored to also call a very good friend. But every so often, I've seen a woman who will put me into a thought spiral of "am I bisexual?" for a week or two. A girl in one of my classes in 2021. A woman on a Discord server in 2022.
And now earlier this year. I got interested in advocacy within my community and made some new social media accounts because of it, so I wouldn't have to engage in local matters under the Iota Aurigae username and essentially doxx myself. One of the more active people in the community I settled into is a woman with a positive attitude and cool hair.
She's a pretty great person, so I think I was just naturally drawn to her since she's the type you want to interact with. Early last month, I began to think she was pretty cute, and I just thought it was the same thing that had happened before, where I would think a woman was cute for a week or two and then forget about it.
I didn't forget about it, though. In fact, I saw her at an in-person event a couple of weeks after that. I think she's shorter than me, and she has a cute face. She began to look my way and I got nervous and self-conscious about my appearance, so I looked down and pretended I hadn't seen her. I don't think she realized it was me, even though I had shared some pictures of myself on the social media page I created.
It's really just snowballed from there. I had considered taking the train to the event early in the morning, partially because she had planned to take the same train, but I ended up taking a later one so I could sleep in. I really wish I'd sucked it up and taken the earlier train.
I sometimes happen to take public transit routes that she takes, and I've taken photos in her area for a hobby. Every time, I hope I happen to see her, but I also don't, because I have a tendency to get embarrassing intrusive thoughts about people who I'm into or otherwise care about.
I've thought about kissing her, and (NSFW)
Am I overthinking? I have had a tendency to overthink things in the past, so I could be here, too.
TLDR: my occasional "am I bisexual" crisis has returned bearing the gift of a gal with cool hair.
I was surprised when I got to the part when you said you didn’t have a romantic interest in her, since everything you wrote about her seems to contradict that (admiration, attraction, obsessive thoughts, wanting to spend more time with her). If that’s not romantic interest, what is? Not a rhetorical question btw, I’d really like to hear your answer.
I’ve felt romantic love before and not all of the things that were there with other people are here with her. Maybe that might change as I get to know her better, but I wouldn’t jump to say it’s romantic quite yet.