10
AdviceMaking friends
I feel like I am amid culture-wide shifts in how adults make friends and it feels like friending is becoming a lot like online dating. Lots of ghosting, low effort, does not reciprocate. I have a lot to say on this subject but there is something that recently happened that I would like your take on.
I knew someone through a common interest just online but we met with others for an event last May. She reached out to me saying she wanted to hang out/thought I would be a cool person to be friends with. We emailed back and forth and called a couple of times. Her emails were long, filled to the brim with health information about her and her physical challenges which limited what she could do socially. I was cool with that.
But then about 8 weeks after our exchanges she just disappeared. I emailed, and called twice. No response. We have some mutuals I would have heard if something had happened to her. And, it feels like all my new friends were only happening with me doing 90% of the work so I am in this "match energy" phase in my life now. So, I let it go.
She emailed me out of the blue about 6 months after last hearing from her and also msg.d me on one of my socials. Both quick, oh hey how are you? and also, I got this thing going on. But nothing about why she want MIA, or even a, "Hey sorry I dropped the ball." It was like nothing happened.
I haven't responded. I have abandonment issues. I have had a history of befriending needy women whose friendship is contingent on what I can do for them and honestly, I am done with playing that role. I have a history of being dropped when someone or something better comes along.
So, I am looking at all of this wondering how to respond. I don't want to waste time with someone who just drops people like that, and also comes back into their lives as if nothing happened. I felt totally ghosted by her. I don't want to fritter away my energy to someone who will then just go MIA again. I have enough acquaintances who only reach out when they want something.
But, my internal dialogue is telling me I am a bad person for not giving her a chance. Should I send an email asking about her disappearance? Do I say some version of this to her? Do I continue to ignore?
What would you do and why?
So it’s all about your hair colour and labels? And I was always told uniforms were a sign of an uncritical, overly-compliant mind…
Oppression tourism really is in fashion right now, isn’t it? You don’t even need to do that icky sex stuff with anyone, just claim you’re asexual and have no gender, magically you’re the most picked-on minority that needs a whole month of constant applause from those around you to even function.
These idiots wouldn’t know real rebelliousness if it slapped them with a plaice.
you know who's asexual, children. I've often thought about that I know they want to claim everything but I don't think its the disinterested adults who want to mind their own business they are angling for with that. its a step on their unicorn journey of authentic self discovery.
And yet, they get strangely angry when LGBs try to do anything without them. Like, dating, for example.
Stupes, your (hopefully) favourite pansexual non-binary genderfluid, they/them
That's a very long-winded way to say "bisexual man".
With all the love-bombing prowess of a rapist cult leader.
This shit just reminds me of Christians praying and proselytizing in public so that the other kool aid drinkers see how righteous they are.
this guy is a youtuber with over a million subscribers, he makes music videos based on games.
you can see the post and replies here they are as insufferable as expected
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxrtS0RraIsDseseoSqzs71tiEofC2Rkxt
And of course this is the pinned comment in his post:
If any of those facts about me surprise people, as they often do when I post for pride month, hello! I'm queer and have been openly so for a long time, it's in my bios, on my socials, heck I have said so openly in my songs/videos multiple times, both indirectly and directly.
WTF does he even mean by "queer"? He just looks like a generic beard bro. And why does he need to insert his sexuality and gender politics into parody songs about video games?
If any of those facts about me are a problem to people, as they often are when I post for pride month, I am not looking for discussion or debate and will not be engaging in them, you can just leave. <3
What a great way to build an audience! Shove your politics into your goofy videos about games, and then tell the audience to leave if they don't want to listen to some White neckbeard LARP as an oppressed queer. And then, when your views/revenue dries up, call the people who stopped supporting you bigots. 🙄
I saw this on my youtube feed and then i unsubscribed immediately
me too, I thought he might be one of them I noticed him wearing nail varnish in a vid but I wasn't 100% now he's off my subscribe list along with Not Just Bikes
I really like tbat one song he did. Such a shame hes a gender gremlin believer
I actually loved his deltarune song. But he started doing this navel gazing pronoun shit and lost all interest in his newer work
It really is a shame when good artists get sucked into politics and it taints their work
I've unsubscribed but I haven't listened to his stuff since the outer worlds or no mans sky song can't remember I started going thru his back catalogue and found him to be more miss then hit and lost interest before I got to the present stuff.
thats what I do on youtube if I come across a channel Iike I go on their page and slowly start watching everything from the start, until I'm upto date or lost interest in them.
You can't just call yourself a wordsmith, ffs.
Not all smiths are good at it - carrying the metaphor, this dude's "smithing" is probably the equivalent of hammering two random pieces of metal together at an awkward angle.