I'm alone. I spend my new year alone. My only friend left, family is far away. I don't know.

I feel content for the first time in my life. I’ve dedicated the past three years to healing and have finally made it to the light at the end of the tunnel. I also changed my major over winter break and set a solid plan for the future so now I’m trying to mentally prepare to spend the next 9-10 years of my life in school which is a bit intimidating but I’m feeling optimistic.

I'm not doing so great. I've had some ups in the past few months but mostly been really down. I hate the way my life looks right now, I feel extremely unsettled and lonely. I'm so full of resentment.

The day I get a work permit will be a very, very happy day. It's truly the only thing I care about right now.

Had a frustrating conversation earlier today with a friend who called JK Rowling the world's best-known transphobe (or something like that). I explained that believing in biology and science doesn't mean that someone is scared of trans people, or hates trans people, or wants to deny trans people the human and civil rights we all deserve.

I also explained that trans people can call themselves what they want, dress how they want, choose the name they want. But when they start demanding others play the game along with them, pretend that biology doesn't exist, and they label the non-players as transphobes or bigots or nazis? That is unacceptable behavior. Men are not entitled to some imaginary right to be women and to force others to accept them as women.

I think I got the point across but I'm not sure, which is why I'm ranting instead of raving. I hope the points I made will settle in with my friend, especially as he can't stand other types of science deniers. I think the trans issue just isn't that important to him, because it doesn't really affect him.

I'm doing okay but I'm happy with that. I graduated nursing school in December so I'm hoping 2022 is going to be the year I finally start living my life.

I'm fairly good but experiencing the usual demoralised 'grass might be greener on the other side' mood.

I love my team and do well at my role, but fancy a change. However I don't know what I want to do and because of past experiences with workplace bullying (maybe over 10 years ago - the pain fades but you remember the bite) it makes me anxious to consider starting somewhere new where the work environment could be toxic and the people awful. Add to that, insecurity whether I'd be capable at the role or have to go shuffling back to my old workplace in humiliation.

Think I'm mopey because I've lost my work / personal life balance in that I don't make the most of the spare time I have - since COVID put life on hold or restricted activities, most days I feel tired and would rather relax at home or enjoy quiet get-togethers with my parents or friends.

What I really want is to travel and see the world again but AFAIK Asia (where some of my family live and I want to see) is still closed off or has irksome isolation policies in effect.

I also want to make new friends outside of my workplace but don't live close to a hive of activities. Then there's the cost of travel and paying my way too when one of my ongoing goals is to save money and be competent at managing my finances. 😂

On a lighter note, although I dislike most anime (because of the gross perverted tropes, designs - but sometimes the storyline, characters and voice-acting lol) I watched a Studio Ghibli movie for the first time last week. The Tale of Princess Kaguya. Really enjoyed it but damn, it was crushingly bittersweet at times! And the art style was gorgeous. I love colours but the overdone garish neon palette in some shows aggravates me; the gentle palette with the odd dash of bold colour was a pleasure to watch.

I also read Madeline Miller's Circe novel and really enjoyed it too, especially the friendship between Circe and Penelope (who IMO was a no-nonsense but kind woman - the friendship between them felt organic and worked for me because they were on a similar wavelength). The character growth and realisations of Circe as she eventually stops seeking love / warmth from awful unavailable people and becomes a better person because of it was beautiful.

Thank you, lovely people, for making this such a fab place to be and recommending the above animation studio and book! Will definitely be watching more anime by Studio Ghibli. I've also started watching Archer for the first time - hilarious. ❤️

I made a tasty spinach lasagna yesterday. Now I have food to last me all week! Will probably freeze some too. Part of my New Year’s resolution to cook at home more.

I've been pretty happy recently, all things concerned. I feel like 2022 will be a good year for me.

I've been feeling generally burned out and useless this year (well, last year), but I wrote a novel length fanfic and the people I hoped might like it did like it. :) It's done a lot to give me some energy back. I love fandom.

I quit smoking 2 months ago yesterday. I may finally be over the hump. I can actually go for several hours now without thinking about it.

I smoked for 30+ years and quit cold turkey. I had sinus surgery last week, which was scheduled in Nov, and that's when I decided to quit.

Happy new year, everyone.

It finally warmed up enough for me to walk to the grocery store (50 minutes), but only for two half-days (I went this morning). We're already back into another polar vortex which is another week holed up at home. I think the next month or two are going to be really cold.

I do have high hopes come the spring. I think things will improve a lot, for me and for everyone, with the restrictions and everything.

I'm sick of sports betting commercials. if I have to see another caesars sportsbook or draft kings commercial I am going to go rogue

Isaac (the detransitioner who confronted his gender therapist) is fine as frog hair. How is he so damned pretty? I'm obsessed, I rewatch his videos constantly. I feel legit sadness that I'll never get to have sex with him.