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Open ThreadMom Friday Open Thread
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My 11-yr old daughter keeps having massive emotional meltdowns. Is she too young for this to be hormonally related? She gets herself in a state in the evenings, worrying about school or extra-curricular activities. Tonight she realised she had committed to a sports event on a Sunday which was also the day she was hoping to be taken to London to visit relatives. Her disappointment and anguish at missing the (not even properly planned) trip left her in a puddle on the floor and sobbing her heart out at bedtime.
I find her distress so distressing, I am always tempted to try to fix it all and say she doesn't have to go to school or do whatever thing she is anxious about. I try to be strong. This evening I talked about how this is one of those times in life where there isn't a "good" outcome. I said she could choose what to do but that I and her dad feel she should keep to commitments she has made (the team sporting event) and not let friends down, even if that means missing out on something else. I said, if she pulled out of the sporting team event and went to London, it would be marred by the knowledge she hadn't done the right thing and had let down her friends. If she does the sport event she may feel resentful or upset that she is missing the London trip. I said she has to decide which of those scenarios is the least bad.
It's very hard seeing her having to live with the consequences of earlier decisions.
But also so many of these things are Such A Drama at the time, and then turn out to be completely irrelevant. Some days I'll worry all day about the thing she's upset about, and then at the end of school I'll ask her how X went and she won't even remember what I'm talking about!
I think I let her get away with more shit than her brother because she's a girl and I know how much harder life is going to be for her. My Nigel thinks I shouldn't treat her differently but, you know what? She's going to have a lifetime of expectation weighing on her to be nice, do the housework etc. So for the time she's under my roof and I'm in control, I will make sure she doesn't have to be nice and I'll make sure I always ask her brother to do the chores first.
Is it wrong to cut her more slack just because she's a girl?