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AdviceHow do I stop comparing myself with other women?
I notice if I like a guy has a girlfriend. I compare myself with her. That maybe if I had her appearance he would pay attention to me. The fact that I am black latina makes it a little more complicated. It hurts when latino men prefer white latina women. Even black latino men prefer white latina women.
I never had be fetishize for being black. And honestly I would never want that. But I had been treated implicitly several times as inferior or unattractive. I don't like that people want to touch my curly hair. I am not a toy that people can touch whenever they want.
I don't like racist comments towards me. I can understand that not everybody will get along with me. But that is not an excuse for racism. This makes me sometime to be a white woman. This would had avoided many hurtful experiences.
I admit that I feel jealous and envy towards white women. But I don't want to because any woman can be a victim of male violence. But I just can't stand their racism. I try to empathize but some of them are unbearable to deal with. They just make fun of my skin or hair texture. That is why I avoid white people in general.
Any advice can you give me?
Do you have long term goals and aspirations? When I was in my mid 20s, I heard about "financial independence" and at that point decided to spend my next 10 years saving and investing. This was a goal I could see the progress as I went along, and I didn't have any need to compare to others, only myself year over year. Incidentally, I dropped all the spending habits women are pressured into in service of my goal, which also helps me not compare myself to other women.
It could be a lot of things: a degree, a promotion or certain position, a hobby, a house, a family. Whatever it is, I felt like I really grew and grounded from making a 10 year plan. It was the first time in my life, becoming an adult, that I considered my future and what I wanted it to look like.
Best wishes.
Thank you! I appreciate your advice.