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RantPondering Asexuality.
I'm highly skeptical of Asexuality as a concept applicable to humans. We're a highly social grooming animal who's closest genetic relative (the bonobo) is almost hypersexual. We are fertile year round, receptive year round, and evolutionarily speaking, have some very unique sexual adaptations. The sex drives of males aside (for now) the drive to reproduce (or at least commit analogous acts)in a sexually reproductive species is essentially hardwired into out brains. (The Child Free community still very much fucks, so even if their smart human brain knows it doesn't want kids, dumb animal brain doesn't care.)
Every single person I've known personally that claims some level of gray/ace/demi-whatever-ality...later admits to sever sexual trauma, or abuse, or a deep dislike for men, or SSRI use for years, or depression, or a myriad of other things that account for it better. All of them masturbate, many of them have had past sexual partners, and the amount of exotic art and writing they can create is on parr with Sara J Maas. But still they claim the Ace Spectrum Thing.
It boggles my mind. They get so close to realizing they just have a low libido or trauma and then go back to the 'some aces can fuck' 'some aces experience arousal' stuff.
I don't see how they can be so close to realizing there's something else going on and just not take the final step, and I'm afraid to push them because they're all libfems. I love them to bits, and it drives me nuts they've picked up this label that only serves to hold them back.
Full disclosure, I've had people ask me if I'm asexual before, because my sex drive fluctuates and can downright shut down due to depression or circumstances (like military bootcamp, where I was so focused on surviving and so tired I lost all sexual feelings and even dreams for 4 months) I have never been anything but an unfortunately straight woman.
It's been on my mind lately because of a silly cartoon I'm watching with a male 'ace rep' character.
(My 'for now' caveat) legitimately all the people i know who claim to be asexual are women. Never a man. And yes, it's online spaces, but the only men I see claiming Asexuality are chronic masturbators or suffering from some severe health issue that makes their block and tackle not function, not an actual lack of any and all sexual attraction, feelings, or complete inability to become aroused. I legitimately believe that even if asexuality could be applicable to humans, it would be a female condition, tied to XX chromosomes, because testosterone poisoning seems to turn any and all people who encounter it, into chronic horndogs.
It doesn't help that there are literally no actual medical tests I can find that dig in and do extensive panels to try and find out the why of things. At least for Gay and Lesbians there are structural brain scans and extensive genetic testing.
Sorry, this has been a back of my head rant for a while now, and i just have to get it out and hopefullyget some feedback that I'm not living in delulu world.
(Are you also rewatching Bojack Horseman? I always felt lucky they didn't include gender ideology and the weird asexual storyline always seemed to me they were told to include woke bullshit somehow in there but didn't want to do trans)
I think some women here identify as asexual but the concept and especially how it is lived today feels extremely "gendery" to me. There is like 207 varieties of asexual that almost all seem to include having sex, which... What? But even besides that, every single time I read about a self declared asexual firstly it's a woman and secondly if I dig through their profile sooner or later it comes up that they were victims of sexual violence. But obviously nobody should be coerced into any sex and if someone doesn't want to have sex, it certainly doesn't disadvantage my life so good for them. If asexuality is real, it feels more like a medical issue anyway than an "identity".
I do wonder if some young women identify as asexual because they're repulsed by today's disgusting porn culture. I mean just look at the latest Kanye shenanigans, parading his wife around naked like a sex slave he just bought at the market while he's clothed. Or how they have to make up a "sexuality" for having standards and wanting to know the person before you have sex with them. It's absolutely sick and if I grew up today among fetish TIMs in my bathrooms, all boys my age porn addicted and women screaming sex work is work, hey maybe I'd identify as asexual.
This is how I felt too! I actually did like the storyline, even though I have always been skeptical of asexuality. But I do like Todd so maybe that’s why I enjoyed his story.