My father in law recently died from lung cancer. When the palliative care doctor was scheduled to come to the house back in January, I looked her up and she was listed as "non-binary."

I was really anxious actually. My husband's parents don't understand what the hell any of this is and English is not their first language; in Chinese third-person pronouns aren't like ours anyway so it still wouldn't make sense.

As a GP one of my roles in the family is to be there for medical stuff.

I made up my mind that I would suck it up, and just not entertain the nonbrainery crap because we really needed her and we were at the end of our rope.

She turned out to be incredibly compassionate and intelligent and was a great doctor in that moment. She didn't have a pronoun badge or a progress flag or anything and focused on just us. After the first few minutes I forgot about the nonbrainery thing.

In summary, for our needs this (confused? Captured?) young woman was the right doctor for us. That said, it was a one-off consult and not an ongoing relationship, so it's kind of a unique situation.

No way in hell would I trust my health to a they/them.

I would not "feel comfortable" with such a person. I might feel less uncomfortable if the they/them were a woman, because I would know the person is a woman, but I would not feel comfortable, because it's my contention that all gender specials are unstable, personality disordered, or otherwise psychologically off. That's not, in my estimation, a "bias," but an observation.

One's sex determines so many medical conditions unrelated to reproductive health, doctors need to be cognizant of that, acknowledge it, and treatments need to be attentive to those differences. I would not feel at all confident of this they/them's judgement if I were going in for anything to do with my reproductive health, and would absolutely not go to them for anything to do with my reproductive health. Depending on the reason I was going in, and the urgency of the problem, I might go ahead and take the appointment, but I'd be very attentive to any evidence of they/them's ideology affecting their analysis or treatment.

If it were me, I'd probably either cancel and try to reschedule and ask for another appointment, and request one of the other providers, or, if it was a pressing issue, I'd visit prompt care.

I would not - playing this game suggests a certain disconnect from physical reality, and reification/literal embodiment of sex stereotypes (a person would choose to announce to the world that he/she is 'nonbinary' because they don't believe they align with the sex stereotype for their sex) that I'd find very disconcerting.

Big nope. Cluster B who needs constant attention (negative or positive, doesn’t matter which) will not make decisions for your health with your health in mind. And so much of medicine is your doctors judgment.

I would try to look at it as a very specific mental illness that doesn’t affect their professional interactions, like a phobia or obsessively checking the burners on the stove. Or a religion or cult they belong to. It wouldn’t make me want to socialize with them but depending on the specialty it might not affect your care.

If it were just a one-off I'd get over it, but I wouldn't want to visit that doctor for ongoing care.

I would not. I would not trust a medical professional who does not believe in science. It would not matter whether they were male or female.

If this is urgent, then I would just suck it up and see them. But otherwise, I would cancel and ask for a different doctor. I would find it really hard to trust their medical opinion and I wouldn't want to gaslight myself into thinking otherwise.

I’d be OK if it was a woman and she was a doctor for a condition unrelated to sex/gender stuff.

For example, I wouldn’t trust her to make informed decisions as an endocrinologist or a gynecologist if she believes in gender woo, but if she was an ENT or a dermatologist it’s whatever

If it’s a one-off appointment and you don’t have to see this person again, I’d be okay with it (and more okay with this person being female rather than male, because I’d personally rather if all my doctors were female, although for a one-off I could deal with a male)

But like other comments said, for ongoing care, I wouldn’t keep seeing this person if at all possible. I just don’t know if I could trust them to make good medical decisions etc, knowing there’s people like Dr Upton saying “i’m a biological female” or whatever, I can’t trust that this person wouldn’t be just as compromised, so to speak.

For me I think I'd only see that person if I had no other options or if she came extremely highly recommended by someone who's reasoning I trust. And I say "she" bc I'd be way more wary of a man who called himself nonbinary.

In general I think I'd just have trouble taking that person and her reasoning seriously. I've also never heard a justification for "I'm nonbinary" that wasn't sexist as fuck. So I'd try to stay away, but I guess it isn't a completely hard line for me.

I believe it belies an underlying pathological obsession with oneself and doctors need to be able to think about _other people. Maybe if I just needed them to write me a script.

No, just as I wouldn't trust a flat-earther to calculate my trajectory for safely launching me into space even if they (haha) worked for NASA.

I would have a very hard time with this. But it could be they (ha ha, appropriate here!) are just captured, as you said. I am afraid we will be seeing more and more of this because so many young students have been captured. This turd can't get flushed fast enough for me.

It is too bad you can't reschedule. I guess you can just go to the appointment. If the doctor is sketchy in anyway, report them.

If they were female I'd be okay with it but I wouldn't use them as my regular health care provider.

I wouldn't see they/them.

I'd be okay with it as long as I didn't have to go along with pretending that he or she was magically sexless. I would avoid using pronouns.

I'd refuse. I told both my healthcare providers that I'm gender critical. My ob/gyn agreed with me. The regular MD - I'm not sure. I might change them.

I'm done with this crap.

Ugh

I’m so sorry

Hopefully s/he is ok,

If you can’t reschedule, just try it out and stay clear of cult talk

This is such bs. It’s like having a doctor ask if you want to pray with them before beginning the visit

I’m coming up with some evil fun in my mind tho

Let’s just say I found I was a bit too fond of the pain pulls I got after a surgery in my 20’s. I luckily haven’t been tempted in decades

“Hi I have gender dysphoria, except it’s for opiates”

“I feel like I’m meant to be a man who gets a few pounds of prescription morphine every few weeks, not a woman who takes ibuprofen for pain”

“Carrots is my dead name, call me Morpheus….but ok to keep it as Carrots on the prescription. I’m not out to my pharmacist. It wouldn’t be safe. He would definitely mis dispense and give me ibuprofen”

Well given that I live in the suburbs outside a major city, I’m lucky enough for there to be literal hundreds of medical specialists to choose from. So no, if I found out a doctor was “nonbinary” I’d just make an appointment with someone else. Why go to a doctor who doesn’t understand basic science and medicine!

I would absolutely not go