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Advice wantedStrength Training and Struggling to Build Muscle
Hi all, I was wondering if any of you who strength train may have some advice for this. I've been strength training on/off for many years now, maybe 6 months on to 6-12 months off. I know not great, but I always get discouraged as I never seem to make any progress. Mostly I've tried to do a modified 5x5 program - modified at half speed because I can't keep up with the typical recommended progression, and I can't do squats as my knee caps angle out and cause pain no matter the squat type or weight. I've had professional guidance to try to figure out the knee thing, doing progressively higher/heavier step-ups with the hope of building up to split squats and eventually real squats, and incorporating hip/glute strengthening exercises. But in the meantime have to slowly work around it.
I never seem to make much progress in the process. I mean I'll work out consistently 2-3x per week for 5 months and end at a 50 lbs bench press, 90 lbs deadlift, and 35 lbs overhead press. It's not like I'm starting with nothing either - I may start with 60 lbs for deadlifting and end at 90 lbs. The overhead press is the worst, it barely increases and I'm already failing reps.
I thought maybe I'm not eating enough - although I do take care to eat a lot more and protein-focused when working out - so I tried really counting calories and macros, but it made no difference on the last attempt and I started to hate eating from all the extra work the calculating and weighing and planning took. All the weight I gain seems to be fat, as I lose it almost immediately after I stop working out and eating extra.
The only thing I can think of is maybe I'm not pushing hard enough; I do aim for more like 6 reps per set, as I workout alone and sometimes worry about really pushing through to total failure. But that doesn't mean I don't try to go to failure, I do.
I want to start up again but on the right foot so I'm setting myself up for success. I was thinking of trying the Stronger by the Day program this time, with the hope it's better geared for women. But I'd greatly appreciate any advice from those of you who have figured it out. It's frustrating and discouraging to put in so much time and effort and still feel so weak.
Late to the meme party but I made it! Good one.
who is Corinna Cohn?
He's a """GC""" TIM better know as Heterodorx and he runs the Heterodorx podcast with a popular "GC" "feminist" artist, Nina Paley. (Quotations because I do not believe a woman can truly be a feminist when she's still clearly a handmaiden to men who think they are women.) They run an ill-named group called the "TERF-TR4NNY ALLIANCE". He's been invited to speak on behalf of women in sports at iCONIC (there are videos on youtube).
Heterodorx has admitted to using women's spaces before, and has publicly humiliated a transwidow with past trauma by intentionally inviting her to a event he knew Debbie Hayton was in (another """GC""" TIM), then laughing at her reaction and bullying + insulting her on twitter when she called him out on it, saying she would never have attended had she known he was on the guest list.
The scrote, or someone on his behalf, also somehow got an account here on Ovarit (long since abandoned, thankfully) that literally did nothing but pimp the podcast out. No contributions to engaging otherwise.
I do not like him. And I like Nina's work and the stuff she makes, she obviously speaks up about this way more than I have so maybe I should stfu, but I really am uncomfortable with how much she shills for truscum TIPs in her work. She's one of the "there's real trans people who can be GC! They are allies!" ones and I'm just like. No. No trans people get a pass as long as they continue to use our words and take our spaces and deny our rights.
she obviously speaks up about this way more than I have so maybe I should stfu
No. Please do not stfu on this. "GC" is entering its early celebrity phase and the predictable is happening, because it happens in all groups and causes. Visibility of contribution does not equal quality of contribution. (Why else would "GC" keep simultaneously adopting established radfem ideas and critiques and publicly slamming radical feminism?)
Nina Paley's not a handmaiden. She's been in this fire over this shit for years now, and lost her career and a lot of her friends. She's also one of the very few TERFs to get a trans activist to debate her in a public forum, and lord was that ever an eye opener (Daniel "Grace" Lavery, Heterodorx Ep. 26). I'll always be grateful to her for that. People don't have to agree with you on everything to fight the cause with you. I'm sick of this idea that everyone needs to be ideologically pure or be toppled from their pedestal (this goes for Stella O'Malley and her poor handling of the blue dress incident too). No one should ever be put on a pedestal in the first place. We're all human beings and we don't have so many people fighting on our side that we can afford to throw people away.
I would normally agree with you, but I find this mentality to be the exact reason why this situation has happened to "the gender critical "movement"". Men once again step in and take everything away from women because "we have common ground and no one is perfect". It's happened over and over and over throughout history, Matt Walsh took credit for raising the alarms on gender ideology when it was radfems and lesbians that did the groundwork for him to have even known about it. And now he's "where are all the feminists?" while trodding on them.
"Corina", still using a female name even though he supposedly doesn't care about misgendering or being called a man anymore, claims he started the GC movement when again, he was no fucking where to be found when shit was going down, but rather contributing to it because he was trans-identified. The twitter thread of full of """GC""" people thanking him and praising him while the feminists calling him out on his shit are more or less being ignored or else told "what did you do / where were you?" The posters on the actual r/gendercritical would never have agreed with him. But the overall narrative has been so warped and twisted by this point that any original talking points have been lost by the time they reach the mainstream.
I'm guilty of this myself and I'm not ideologically pure either. I like Ricky Gervais and Dave Chapelle and they are the fucking furthest things from radical feminism. I'm still guilty of misogyny. I don't claim myself a feminist. But I'm an angry, incoherent nothingburger nobody on the internet. These people with platforms and who have worked hard to finally have a voice that other people listen to, always boost men who end up backstabbing them because they were never ideologically compatible to begin with. Be friends all you want as much as you want, look past your differences, it's your right, and it's not a woman's fault for what a man does. But said man is literally your co-host of an "alliance", you supposedly represent the TERF talking point of this "alliance", and he spouts this clearly false shit that directly harms the TERF viewpoint, and you say nothing?
Idk. Yeah, it's not her fault, it's men's. It's always men. It's her right and nobody can force her to do anything she doesn't want to. But god fucking damn this is why women keep losing. We're too fucking nice all the time and patriarchy is a thing.
Yeah, you bring up an interesting point here. It has always driven me nuts on Heterodorx how guests tend to treat Corinna like the boy genius. "What a good question, Corinna!" All of us are socialized to give men more credit than we give women. We do all need to be careful of that--especially feminists. But I really do not like the tone of the recent discussions about Nina Paley and Stella O'Malley. We need to find a way to disagree with and criticize women within our movement without canceling them (or making noises like they deserve to be).
FWIW, there are a number of things I disagree with Nina about, but I think she has an important part to play in all of this. I've been amazed at the variety of people and viewpoints she's been able to get on her show and the conversations she's been able to have with them. I don't think the ability to do that is compatible with ideological purity. I think we need her.
But yes--as you say, patriarchy is a thing, and women do keep losing because we hold ourselves responsible to consider men's humanity and they do not hold themselves responsible to consider ours. I'm not sure what we do about that. We need the men who have spoken out because they're all men will listen to and men need to be shifted on this issue.
Thanks for saying this. I’ve had mixed reactions to Nina and Corinna in the past, and I admire Stella. I think the response to these disagreements, while important, has become absolutist and out-of-proportion. [Edit: Not the ridicule, however. Corinna’s tweet is worthy of at least two threads of chortling disdain.]
Disagreements about coalition-building, boundaries, and compromise are necessary. They belong. I don’t like Corinna’s tweet and agree that it is both sexist and silly, but the fact is…occasionally I read something I consider sexist and silly here, too. That doesn’t absolve Corinna’s bad judgement or mean we shouldn’t bring it up, but while the frustration and weariness make sense to me, these feel like in-fights and not capital offenses.
I am not trying to scold women who vent their frustration about the recycling of sexist tropes by so-called allies. Speak up. But a number of comments have emphasized that this is why we cannot or should not include TIMs in our coalition, and that is not my personal reaction. There is diversity of opinion around a more radfem ethos here in general - and I think that’s a good thing as long as we can make space for each other. That space should include room for all the principled indignation we are hearing now.
But - and I say this no-doubt as a brainwashed libfem handmaiden TIM-apologist - I think we sometimes lean pretty hard into the temptation to categorize anyone south of our personal hardline as a handmaiden.
I think we sometimes lean pretty hard into the temptation to categorize anyone south of our personal hardline as a handmaiden.
I think we tend to do that when we've been in this fight for any length of time, or we have a relative or loved one who's transed, or we've got years of feminist reading and discourse behind us.
I have a slightly different pov. Purity spirals are real, but I don't think critique of tru trans is a purity issue. I think it's more an issue of historical awareness. If you've seen the Machiavellianism of T or the mission creep of GC unfold over time, it looks more like a repetitive cycle/ spiral than anything else.
Being deeply read on feminist/radfem history, having a load of bookmarks demonstrating the timelines of those cycles, holding people (especially newcomers, therapy licenses or no) accountable to coherent definitions and logical arguments, all that taken together isn't essentialism or purity. It's disciplined discourse. Meaningful discourse must be interlinked with accurate historical memory. That's its nature.
All this to say there will always be hardliners, and we're not automatically reactionaries. We're holding that line for a reason.
I appreciate your perspective here and don’t think we broadly disagree. Asking for intellectual consistency and ethical accountability does not amount to a purity spiral, and these fault-lines and schisms do play out repeatedly. You’re right that placing conversations in their broader context is a good thing - as is the ability to express frustration, exhaustion, and anger.
I understand people want to express their opinions and hold ideas to account. They should be able to. These people are public figures talking on controversial subjects. I don’t misunderstand the intention of the line-holders, I simply haven’t been persuaded myself that these figures shouldn’t be (or aren’t) a meaningful part of my political coalition regardless. I have more in common with most of them than not, even when I disagree with consequential takes. Many women here feel otherwise or have different margins around which they can compromise, and I respect that their thinking belongs here even when I land elsewhere myself.
Well-said -- it's a complex and evolving issue, that's for sure.
I consider Nina a handmaiden for other reasons, too. She is a self proclaimed libertarian which is a political ideology that stands squarely in opposition to the stated goals of radical feminism, IMO.
Her podcast makes me chuckle now & then but she has a lot - a LOT- of seriously bad, misogynistic takes.
Why on earth would we include misogynists in our movement?
I'll never accept trans identified men in my feminism, in the gender critical movement, or anywhere else I belong. Let the handmaidens have those scrotes
Of course but it's okay to be surprised and let down that someone you respect believes that true trans nonsense
Who knows, maybe she doesn't believe it and there's a method to her madness
I agree. Nina is not a handmaiden. She's nobody's mindless idiot follower. And if Corinna is someone who was willing to still be associated with her when others - including women - were canceling and criticizing her, then no wonder she's still tight with Corinna. I question what Corinna might be getting out of all this, but that's on Corinna if she's leeching on Nina.
Nina has put herself on the line in a way that many others have not. She's walked the walk, lost the gigs, taken the hate. She's braver than I am.
Nina Paley's not a handmaiden
She is. And how is she a trans-exclusionary radical feminist (TERF) when her "radical feminism" includes and supports "trans" identifying people?
Not to state the obvious, but, of course, we include TIFs in our feminism, just like we include every other woman we disagree with.
TIFs and TIMs are some of the worst enemies of radical feminism. They add gibberish and debris to our character, reputation, and aspirations. I won't fight for women who fight against us. By fighting for them, you're moving them further away from you
Ovarit has a circle for detrans women. They are welcome here. They were TIFs. It doesn't help us to make detrans/desisting women feel unsafe and unwelcome here because of something they once believed. Why would anyone come here if they believed they'd be hated on sight?
Did I say that I won't fight for ex-TIFs or ex-TIMs? They are former members of the cult of transgenderism. I would be proud to offer unique support groups for them
I said that I won't support TIFs or TIMs. They are the people still involved with the cult
The ones who think they don't need it and actively fight against it are frustrating and I'll be damned if I'm gonna be friends with women like that, but I'll always fight for them and include them
The book Right Wing Women really helped me understand viewpoints other than my own. But I understand how you feel
Thank you, you're a kind person and I understand how you feel as well. I'm just painfully aware that most men and women are obstacles to our goals. We take one step forward, fight for our enemies, and take two steps back. We are further behind than we were originally. And it is our kindness that doesn't let us recover from that failure
I give up on things that hinder our growth. We could temporarily work with other groups to achieve a common goal, but a long-term friendship wouldn't be healthy
TIFs need us to fight for them. No one else is. If you leave out the women who fight against us, you’re omitting a huge percentage of women from feminism.
The huge percentage of women that you mentioned don't want to be associated with radical feminism. There's no point in including them
Of course they don’t. The vast majority of the world is brainwashed and working against their own interests. Who are we fighting for if not sex workers, surrogates, veiled women, women in abusive relationships, victims of FGM, etc., etc., including female victims of the gender cult. Many of them would defend their way of life and traditions. Why would radical feminism only be for radical feminists?
How is her feminism trans inclusive? She refuses to call Corinna "she" and doesn't accept him as a woman. Are we expected not to have any trans friends now? Or never to talk to trans people and hear their opinions on things?
Can women be friends with a man they know has abused other women and girls? Can women be friends with men they know are male rapists and pedophiles? Of course they can, but why? Why are we expected to want to hear and sympathise/empathise with those views? They all contribute to female oppression. Why is it always somehow different for trans-identifying men who are literally robbing us of the ability to even fight for our rights?
If she was friends with only TIFs then sure maybe. Because TIFs are still women. But she's mostly known for being friends with Corina at this point to the point where they're associated.
Look, I'm disenchanted with Corinna Cohn myself, but he's not a rapist or a pedophile. He's very much against self-ID, men in women's sports, transing kids, etc. It drives me nuts how he always gets the man bonus--interview subjects, especially male ones, are way more interested in talking with him than they are with Nina and I do think he can be arrogant. There's no reason I can think of he should have been given mic time at the ICONS conference for example, and he should have known better than to take it. But he's not such a monster I think it makes sense to reject someone for associating with him.
I certainly don't "reject" Nina for associating with him. I'll admit I lost respect but I'm just a nobody, so that's irrelevant. She's an incredible woman who has done great work.
But I totally understand why some women might reject her for her association with this bridge troll
How is her feminism trans inclusive?
I mean she literally started a group called the Terf-Tr-nny Alliance
Right. And why is GenSpect on YT referring to Linehan as a TERF (humorously or otherwise)?
If someone publicly swipes at radfems (Linehan, O'Malley, Cohn, Paley) while adopting/bandying about the term "TERF," yeah, they can have some pushback on that. It's not purity and it's not the end of the world.
Thank you for letting me know. God, talk about rock and hard place. I am not saying this to defend NP at all, to be clear. However, GC feminists get smacked for aligning with the conservative right wing, and then we grab on to trans allies who are deeply problematic. If this TiM denounced and apologized for his previous bad behavior in a public statement, that would be one thing. I do think we need to not condemn anyone out of hand (TiFs who detrans are a good example of this). Its like that episode of South Park about those who voted for Trump regretting it but feeling unable to say anything for their constant mocking. I personally cannot hate all those who have been captured by the incredibly powerful--and hugely enforced, funded and socially rewarded--gender ideology--as much as I despise it and see its damage to women. On the other hand, humility and recognition (the first step is admitting you have a problem, amiright?) is needed by all the trans folks today. He could be at the forefront of admitting he acted like a dick, and others could see their bad behavior in that. But if he is claiming now that he invented the Gender Critical term, he needs to be booted by Nina. That is not an ally, that is an appropriator who has no intention of being an ally.
I hope Nina would/could be a better ally to women than this.
Hundred percent agree with you. I've just been personally disappointed too many times to hold out hope so I'm jaded and cynical and extremely skeptical now until it actually happens lol
I'm the opposite. I hate every TIF and TIM. They earned that hatred
Ex-TIFs and ex-TIMs who show remorse are a different story. The relevance of their remorse varies by the severity of the lies they told or continue to tell about their identities
A remorseful person wouldn't invade the spaces of the opposites sex, even if they underwent surgery
Tims whether current or former can fuck off for all I care. They're misogynists and their reasons for transitioning are gross 99% of the time (the other 1% would be little boys transed from a young age) and I don't bother with men.
Tifs on the other hand, I have sympathy for and ex-tifs imo are an important part of all this. They are the women who have gone through it and their experiences and insight are valuable
Oof - what about the legions of tween and teen girls getting sucked in to this nonsense? Surely they're victims in this - being fed utter lies by everyone they trust.
Allow me to correct myself, I hate every adult TIF and TIM. Adults are responsible for their actions
what do you think of the drag queen in Paris is Burning saying I am not a woman, I will never be a woman, etc? Or the video of the TiM who also said he is a transwoman, and not a woman and they are not the same thing? There are so many TiFs that never use men's spaces; I feel like this is the majority. I am pissed that only a handful speak up, though, against the TiMs. Frankly, I hate the Antifa and ACLU and the men who fund this so much more. I hate the source of the power and how they've benefited from it. I hate the incel and MRA men, sex traffickers, the Andrew Tates (esp) much more. I hate the institutions, the schools, the judges, the social workers and hospitals that have butchered young gays and lesbians in the name of normative compulsory heterosexuality. I hate the fucking academics who boycotted Hypatia, canceled feminist anthropologists, boycotted Gender Critical Feminism and Oxford UP, and who teach this shit, day in, day out. The fascist clampdown on reasoned discourse and informed engagement --makes me hate the world, tbt. It is just so much bigger than TiFs (for sure) and TiMs (gay men vs AGPs who can go straight to hell).
Drag queens mock women for the very traits men demand that we be socialized to have. They are not our friends. They are the epitome of misogyny.
I believe "drag queens" reinforce, rather than challenge gender conformity. The gendered performances of these female impersonators embody hegemonic masculinity through an appropriation of androcentric, pornographic images of traditional femininity, utilized to gain power, prestige and male status superiority within the gay community. It's not something I can support
I hate the TRAs who recruit and entrap impressionable, ignorant children, adolescents and adults into the cult of transgenderism more than their followers. That's not a question. But ignorance is the root of all evil. I hate ignorance, and the cult followers, too
I was once a follower. And I look back on my past with hatred and disgust
Yeah . . . jettison that self-disgust, it won't serve you in the long haul. You understand something differently now and your values have changed. That's life. That's enough.
Be kind to yourself. Changing your mind on such a big issue and being big enough to admit your past faults is admirable.
There are very few women here why can say they were never former TRA allies
How disappointing about Nina Paley. But lmao@terf trans Alliance. That makes no sense. Ew
Exactly, lol. Too many skinwalkers to keep track of, but feminists' work goes on underappreciated and denounced until some male claims it was all his idea.
[Men of gender] stay in our business 🤣 go pave a road or something
For real. Go fight in the armed forces or move something heavy. Make yourself useful / get the fuck away from me
Fuck, I don't care, rescue kittens. Just do something vaguely prosocial.
He threw the first brick at Stonewall directly after he wrote The Female Eunuch and The Transexual Empire.