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So I’ve got about a small handful of boob, my own handfuls, and the journey to love them has been long. I feel confident enough to say I’ve finally settled into a place of self acceptance and love after 32 years. I don’t need to explain to you ladies about the myriad of things we endure as women to make us hate our bodies, starting from the bullying all the way to straight up sexual harassment and abuse. We all suffer to some degree in this society no matter what our bodies look like. Boobs big? Reduced to a sex toy. Boobs small? Can’t be reduced to a sex toy therefore useless. So to my well endowed sisters, this is not exclusive. I love you, I see you, and I know you have it just as bad in different ways.

One of the subreddits that really helped me embrace and love myself is called smallbooblove. Now, there’s a bajillion subs about bosoms, by men, for men, but this one was different. It was female only, men were all but banned and not allowed to comment or interact at all. Which honestly was rarely tried anyway, it was kind of a sacred little corner they hadn’t found yet. The occasional douche would wander in thinking it was a porn sub, ignore everything saying it wasn’t and get himself banned quickly but the mods were great and it was a nice little feminist space. I’m pretty sure it was born from smallboobproblems and it’s sister sub bigboobproblems but I preferred this one because of the more positive tone and intention. Supporting each other through implant and explant journeys, feminist discussions about male gaze, posting cute pics of bras we finally found that actually fit and inspiring celebrities who rock flat chested looks, it was genuinely helpful and uplifting. Talk about refreshing, even the respectful deep dives into women’s attitudes and internalized misogyny towards each other, felt like a lot of healing happened there, for myself and others….You know what’s coming.

THEN the TRAs came in and ruined everything! From the very first “I’m a traaaans, do I BeLoNg here? uwu” post I knew it was all downhill from there. The mods went full Woke Bullshit mode and have either folded to or been replaced by men parading as women. More and more the posts flooded in and there were strange influxes of votes and deleted comments. It was so hard to tell what the actual user tone of the whole sub was anymore because everything was policed, scrubbed and banned if not fully endorsing these lunatics. I can’t even tell you how deeply fucking upsetting it is to finally find a safe haven to commiserate and grow and appreciate other woman and yourself and then have it snatched away but TIMS. NO! Your disgusting cross sex hormonally inflated harry man chest does NOT belong here! Go to one of your own billion subs for validation from freaks like you! And that’s the kicker isn’t it? They want validation from REAL women that they are in the club, well I REFUSE! You did not grow up from a little girl to a woman with all of the trauma, societal pressure, and downright dangerous patriarchal hatred all women have had to endure!! If I see one more bulky, ugly, angular man stuffed into a ripped dumpster sundress plastered in dollar store makeup whining about bra fittings being transphobic, I’m gonna scream!!

The fucking audacity to say they understand the entire female experience because they’re now growing “little boobies” and the phrase alone makes me want to vomit. These fetishist pigs have done this to themselves, now they want an ego stroke for mutilating themselves and playing dress up into disgusting misogynistic stereotypes?! Half the time it’s just uwu fantasies, bragging about catcalls they do or don’t receive and my eyes have almost rolled completely into my head at this point. And worse still the mods allow it, if not loudly encourage it, so the sub is ruined.

That’s it. It’s a wrap. That’s the final nail in that coffin. I’ve been officially banned from the cesspool that is Reddit and I am fucking OVARIT. Words cannot express the gratitude for this site and this community. You ladies are amazing and make me feel sane once again in this crazy world. I hope you all check out your tatas today and think they are absolutely glorious to YOU, no matter what, because they’re womanly and magical and belong to you.

So I’ve got about a small handful of boob, my own handfuls, and the journey to love them has been long. I feel confident enough to say I’ve finally settled into a place of self acceptance and love after 32 years. I don’t need to explain to you ladies about the myriad of things we endure as women to make us hate our bodies, starting from the bullying all the way to straight up sexual harassment and abuse. We all suffer to some degree in this society no matter what our bodies look like. Boobs big? Reduced to a sex toy. Boobs small? Can’t be reduced to a sex toy therefore useless. So to my well endowed sisters, this is not exclusive. I love you, I see you, and I know you have it just as bad in different ways. One of the subreddits that really helped me embrace and love myself is called smallbooblove. Now, there’s a bajillion subs about bosoms, by men, for men, but this one was different. It was female only, men were all but banned and not allowed to comment or interact at all. Which honestly was rarely tried anyway, it was kind of a sacred little corner they hadn’t found yet. The occasional douche would wander in thinking it was a porn sub, ignore everything saying it wasn’t and get himself banned quickly but the mods were great and it was a nice little feminist space. I’m pretty sure it was born from smallboobproblems and it’s sister sub bigboobproblems but I preferred this one because of the more positive tone and intention. Supporting each other through implant and explant journeys, feminist discussions about male gaze, posting cute pics of bras we finally found that actually fit and inspiring celebrities who rock flat chested looks, it was genuinely helpful and uplifting. Talk about refreshing, even the respectful deep dives into women’s attitudes and internalized misogyny towards each other, felt like a lot of healing happened there, for myself and others….You know what’s coming. THEN the TRAs came in and ruined everything! From the very first “I’m a traaaans, do I BeLoNg here? uwu” post I knew it was all downhill from there. The mods went full Woke Bullshit mode and have either folded to or been replaced by men parading as women. More and more the posts flooded in and there were strange influxes of votes and deleted comments. It was so hard to tell what the actual user tone of the whole sub was anymore because everything was policed, scrubbed and banned if not fully endorsing these lunatics. I can’t even tell you how deeply fucking upsetting it is to finally find a safe haven to commiserate and grow and appreciate other woman and yourself and then have it snatched away but TIMS. NO! Your disgusting cross sex hormonally inflated harry man chest does NOT belong here! Go to one of your own billion subs for validation from freaks like you! And that’s the kicker isn’t it? They want validation from REAL women that they are in the club, well I REFUSE! You did not grow up from a little girl to a woman with all of the trauma, societal pressure, and downright dangerous patriarchal hatred all women have had to endure!! If I see one more bulky, ugly, angular man stuffed into a ripped dumpster sundress plastered in dollar store makeup whining about bra fittings being transphobic, I’m gonna scream!! The fucking audacity to say they understand the entire female experience because they’re now growing “little boobies” and the phrase alone makes me want to vomit. These fetishist pigs have done this to themselves, now they want an ego stroke for mutilating themselves and playing dress up into disgusting misogynistic stereotypes?! Half the time it’s just uwu fantasies, bragging about catcalls they do or don’t receive and my eyes have almost rolled completely into my head at this point. And worse still the mods allow it, if not loudly encourage it, so the sub is ruined. That’s it. It’s a wrap. That’s the final nail in that coffin. I’ve been officially banned from the cesspool that is Reddit and I am fucking OVARIT. Words cannot express the gratitude for this site and this community. You ladies are amazing and make me feel sane once again in this crazy world. I hope you all check out your tatas today and think they are absolutely glorious to YOU, no matter what, because they’re womanly and magical and belong to you.

82 comments

[–] AdelphiMin 88 points Edited

1.They colonize a women's space.

2.Women start to leave because it is no longer a women's space.

3.Install new mods and ban the rest of the reasonable women.

4.Group becomes compromised of TIMs and a few self-flagellating handmaidens.

5.Their validation needs cannot be met by a group of other TIMs.

6.They desperately try to find where the women have gone.

Rinse, repeat... and repeat... and repeat.

I'm sure they try and get invites for Ovarit for the validation too, not just to lurk or troll. No matter how much they seem to hate radfems, the need for validation from women to feed the ego is narcissistic misogyny at its most desperate and pathetic.

Solidarity with you OP, losing these few outlets that we have left feels like such a gross imposition.

A mod actually stepped down recently because differences in gender ideology.

In the post searching for new mods

No need to have previous mod experience, but it is a plus. You MUST identify as a woman or non binary to be a mod here.

You forgot to mention the few TIMs who claim to be GC and reality-based so that they can be the darlings of GC women.

That’s my own peeve — that so many GC women think any TIMs are a good addition to fighting for the privacy and safety of girls and women.

I've seen one who refers to himself as a guy and is always up for RTing GC women's words and amplifying us in various ways. He's not my best friend or anything, and I'm banned from Twitter these days anyhow, but I always take these people on an individual basis, because you never know.

I wouldn't give them leadership positions in GC orgs either unless the org was specifically structured for that -- giving them authority or even membership in a women-only group is out of the question -- but if they want to go to bat for us, good for them. I'm not gonna give them a medal either, but I do welcome it.

Idk how they'd get validated here since their asses would get banned toot sweet lol

On a similar note, I got into an argument with a man on bigboobproblems the other day. He jumped into a thread to describe his wife’s “deceptively large boobs” so I asked why he was there? The response was a wall of text about how he’s actually the most woooonderful husband in the woooorld because his wife isn’t on Reddit so he joined a number of breast-related subs in solidarity with her? And describing her boobs to strangers is somehow the most loving and supportive thing he could possibly do, and he didn’t appreciate my tone accusing him of being a pervert. I responded that there was no way that was actually helpful for his wife and he used the word “pervert” not me. He responded with another dramatic, whiny wall of text about how much of a victim he was which I ignored 🙄

Ew, I might have seen that guy. I've also seen guys post asking for help because their young daughters are upset over being so busty. I hate it when women take those guys at their word.

Can I just say how much I hate the "boobies/tiddies" thing? Does any woman use these infantilising terms for breasts?

Never in my life heard a woman say these terms. They gross me out too.

For real, you've never heard a woman be like, "my boobs hurt, I'm getting my period"? What do they say where you live? I believe you I just find it weird bc literally every woman I know calls them boobs

I’ve heard women say boobs, I say boobs. I’ve never heard a woman say “boobies/tiddies”

my cousin once told me that my "boobies" won't grow if I don't eat, and the rest of us looked at her like she grew three heads and burst out laughing

I also saw a lesbian couple on a youtube video where they drew each other naked, one was a TiF and she kept saying she hated her chest, she clearly had chest dysphoria. she drew herself as a man. her girlfriend said she wanted her to accept herself the way she was, and that she loved her "boobies", they're very cute, and sexy. that is so rare to see on media. usually it's all just affirmation like "oh yeah you should 100% get them cut off."

so those are two examples. one was ironic, the other wasn't.

[–] hmimperialtortie AGP = evil 11 points

Same, I loathe those terms. In fact, all the slang for breasts or vulvas.

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Is there anything more attention seeking and self centred than the ‘I’m trans. Do I belong here?’ nonsense? It should just be ignored.

They're desperate to bring it up in some way because it constitutes like 95% of their personality. I've seen posts on sites with "I'm trans btw if that matters" in it and I honestly can't tell if the poster's being genuine or trolling, it's just so common

[–] wishforsanity 7 points Edited

There could be a news article on reddit that has absolutely nothing to do with gender/sex in any way and the comments will have at least one "as a trans woman this is what I think". Shut the fuck up already. You don't need to mention that you're a trans woman when commenting on an article about a family attacked by bears at a campsite.

[–] Artistlee19 Chickadee7 2 points

Their personality constitutes 95% being trans and 5% being obsessed with anime.

[–] Hera 42 points

This is one of the reasons I've grown to detest them so much.

I have never ever been compared to loli anime by another woman. But TIM's love to do it and get offended when I'm not flattered to be compared to pedophile porn. I'm a fucking 30 year old woman.

Omgoddess PREACH. Loli porn is a fucking disease. I’ve been down that crazy making road before with exes who fetishized me. Exes. Plural.

When I was at work 15 years ago my nickname was a play on a porn actress because we had similar names, they thought it was flattering, thats what men are like.

Men who pretend to understand and mimic women's problems are so deeply sickening.

They ruin everything :(

They’re so gross the way they fetishise breasts, understanding none of the trauma that comes with having them. I fucking hate TIM’s.

Exactly, there used to be so many posts of women talking about recovering from illnesses, surgeries, mastectomies etc. That’s been completely co opted, it’s infuriating.

if you want more small boob empowerment, there is a youtuber who does styles for small boobed women.

her channel helped me accept my own small boobs immensely. I'm quite happy with my size now. i can go braless without anyone noticing! it's the biggest perk we have imo :))

I've never seen a TiM under her comments. so that's a space they haven't colonized, and if they do, I think the girls and women who watch those videos will tell them off.

I feel you. What space have they NOT ruined at this point? Also I'm very surprised that finding a bra that fits is a small boob problem because from bigger boob land it looks like all the cute stuff is for small boobs. So solidarity there, grass is not greener I guess.

I wish Ovarit would just allow making more circles because we desperately need to reclaim a lot of our hobbies, interests and support groups that aren't specifically about feminism.

Lol yesss thank you, solidarity appreciated! The struggle is real for us all! My best friend is on your side of the fence as well and we compare notes often. She calls her selection “granny styles” while I’m stuck with infantilized ones and gaping cups. I no longer glamorize either way and think of things much more from a health perspective now. Also agreed! It’s so much more fun discussing basically everything with other women. I seriously hope ovarit continues to grow and expand into all that!

[–] friedparata 5 points Edited

oh god I hate the infantilized ones. i have the smallest cup size bra I ever saw, but they STILL don't fit me, there is still empty space. it makes me feel so... inadequate.

add that to the reasons why I hate wearing bras. going braless was what helped me accept my chest in the first place, but I'm forced to go back to wearing them by my step mom, and now my cousin who i live with. it's too "scandalous". i don't bother wearing bras all day, only when going out. they don't notice i don't wear bras unless they feel for a strap.

and I also hate going bra shopping with my family women because they make fun of me for having small boobs and say "lol, so-and-so's 12 year old daughter wears this size!" and "what, you want a training bra?"

they are constantly bodyshaming me and others. always making fun of me for being skinny.

and I sure as hell am not going bra shopping with a man.

Ugh I’m sorry you’re forced back into boob jail for now, and to hear about the body shaming. Those critical voices of others can become our own so easily, there’s nothing “harmless” about teasing something someone can’t change. And shouldn’t want to! Healthy bodies don’t need to be changed! The health and functionality of our bodies should be the focus and priority, but patriarchy 🙄

Bralettes we’re a game changer for me, so many styles that actually mold to your body and make you feel good about putting them on. No wire and often thin pad inserts but no formed “cups”. You might look into them, even Walmarts are great. And it’s s/m/l sizing so you can avoid the whole family shitshow!

exactly! and we desperately need a bisexual and a WoC circle. just please.

there is a circle for gaming a knitting, but not bisexual or woc. I've also come across some biphobia here, and o/lovingwomen is just... no. there's a reason that circle isn't active anymore.

[–] Future Is Female 0 points Edited

You don’t have to answer this, but I’m curious why you’re not a fan of the o/lovingwomen circle?

i agree a bisexual circle would be great, and of course a WoC circle.

in o/lovingwomen, you're only allowed to talk about just that - loving women. bisexuals aren't allowed to talk about the other side of our attraction, or the "bicycle" (I personally don't experience this, but some do. it's basically, when you cycle between attraction to men and attraction to women - yes even if you're already dating someone). i mean that's fair, it's a shared space with lesbians after all.

but then there's the biphobia and lesbophobia, women in-fighting with each other there about it. it's honestly become kind of hostile. of course lesbians would prefer the o/lesbian circle over that mess, but bisexuals have nowhere else to go. the only occasional posts nowadays are from us lol.

I went to the sub a lot and saw the first linebacker shoulder TIM with his “budding moobs breasts” 🤢. It was a really positive space for women that has now been divided and dissolved into yet another validation dispenser for these men.

I left months ago when I noticed TIMs had discovered it , the first uWu 👉🏻👈🏻🥺 “Am I welcome here?” Post and I knew it was already lost. Soon those women will have to validate every man with his hairy chesticles and subsequent despair over the fact he hasn’t developed his hentai mommy milkers or transformed into the big tittie goth gf of his wet dreams.

[–] Artistlee19 Chickadee7 6 points

I make sure to downvote every single “I’m trans am I welcome here” post as well as all the handmaiden comments that validate them. Petty I know.

Same but they made me that petty tbh if they had made their own subreddits for themselves and not barged into ours , uninvited, no one would need to downvote them

It’s so nice to hear from others who are familiar with the sub, ugh. Good riddance, at least I peaked and ended up here lol

YH same it’s nice to see others from that sub too , I knew it wouldn’t be long before the TIMs sniffed it out tbh . Not many female only subs left on reddit.

[–] Artistlee19 Chickadee7 4 points

The r/ABraThatFits (I used to work at a department store when this was helpful) reddit constantly has TIMs posting. They do the whole “I’m a trans woman and this is my first time posting” or “I’m trans idk if I belong here but…” crap too. Then the handmaidens will say “you belong here” and give them advice.

One time, there was an actual man that posted a pic of himself in a lacy bra (beard and all).

I’ve noticed that there are less and less likes on these posts but there will always be a couple of handmaidens gushing over these “amazing, brave, and strong” TIMs and giving them advice.

Yup, I left that subreddit and I've stopped bothering with MakeupAddiction as well, because it's the same old over-the-top "i hope you guys don't hate meee for posting here I'm twans~" men asking for "advice" but what they're really after is attention. And they get plenty of it, at least last time I checked the makeup subs.

[–] Artistlee19 Chickadee7 4 points

It’s so annoying that they pretend to be so meek when they know they don’t belong there. Dudes in the 20s-40s pretending to by shy little girls.

Laughing at “Im twans” haha 😂

I'm at the point of, "If you want me to call you stunning and brave, go kick a grizzly bear's ass in a fight. With your bare hands."

That'll shut them up.

[–] Artistlee19 Chickadee7 2 points

That would actually be impressive!

But many women will validate these weirdos just for putting on eyeliner badly.

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