This is in reference to this thread: https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/227833/how-many-times-are-we-going-to-have-to-see-this

So, I am going to preface this post by saying I am on Ovarit daily. I don't usually post, but I lurk. I have been doing so since I discovered it, after having been on the original Gender Critical subreddit for years. This has been a daily routine for me for about six years, ever since I first realized the entire friend group of a family member was transitioning, and I immediately peaked and tried looking for something that would explain it. Ovarit has helped me make sense of this madness, and helped me to cope when I live in constant fear that my now trans identified family member will medically transition. It also opened my eyes to certain aspects of feminism that I hadn't considered, and I now consider myself a feminist. I have valued Ovarit for a long time, and have enjoyed what I thought was a very positive environment. The few times there were posts I didn't agree with, I found that others spoke up and the site seemed to self-correct and balance itself.

The post about detransitioners yesterday was one of the few posts that I did not agree with. In fact, it made me very uncomfortable. I was hoping the thread would self correct, with others providing a more balanced view. Instead, I saw more and more people jumping in, with comments such as detransitioners are always taking pot shots at us, they are immature, punching down, etc. I am not going to lie, I was shocked by how negative the thread became and how much vitriol was in it. Because the truth is, I am here every day because I am hoping my family member joins their ranks as a desister. Literally I think about this every day. So, is she just an immature, problematic person who I should just throw aside because she doesn't agree with me? Is she my enemy? Should I carry on as a Gender Critical feminist without her?

And punching down??? So many detransitions have had literal body parts removed. They have been filled with wrong sex hormones and in some cases, have been rendered infertile. All because they were sold a lie that all their problems would be solved by some medical procedures that at best, can be described as experimental. We have discussed time and time again, how such a large number of people who transition have comorbidities such as autism, mental health challenges, or are victims of sexual assault. Or are just plain gay with internalized homophobia. These are people who in some cases, truly needed help, and all they got was a so-called solution that just gave them even more problems. So, as detransitioners come out of the fog of this ideology that was thrust on them, I am absolutely willing to give them some grace while they figure it all out.

Plus, I feel like if we are not here for the detransitioners, who are we here for??? And yes, I know the answer is we are here to support all the woman and girls who are being harmed by this destructive ideology. But so many of the woman and girls who are being harmed ARE transitioning. It's my hope that they will detransition that keeps me here.

And finally, I am not sure why this thread was making such a big deal about the not being able to always tell thing anyway. I saw the original post on twitter before it was posted here, and while I thought the tone was perhaps a bit harsh, I used it to remind myself, no I can't always tell, and I need to remember that. In fact I have mis-sexed someone twice. Both times were biological women who were a bit "masculine" looking, and who were making pro-trans/libfem statements. So, because of what they were saying, I assumed their more masculine features meant they were trans identified males. Afterwards, I checked and realized I was wrong. This horrified me, since the last thing I want is to have trans ideology cause me to doubt the womanhood of actual women. I have resolved to be much more humble about the ability to correctly sex someone, and the Twitter post served as reminder about that

So for all these reasons, I felt compelled to post a response to this. And also because that thread was the first time I have ever considered stepping away from Ovarit. Which is shocking to me and is not what I want. But I also don't want to be a part of the tearing down of the very people I felt like I was here to support. Nor do I want to be part of a group that may be becoming burdened by tribalism and litmus tests. So, I want to say very clearly I support detransitioners. And I support women. And I don't think there should be an issue with that.