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I go to a paint night in the town next to mine once a month.

We sit in a drafty garage with our canvas and paint and the instructor walks us through making our own painting.

I have NEVER in 2 years of going EVER seen a man at paint night.

This month the instructor had a “Girls Night” paint night to raise money or a local woman’s organization.

2 men were there. They didn’t raise a ruckus or cause any trouble but they were there. They have 24 paint nights a year to choose from and NEVER go but the one night when she says it’s “women only” 2 men suddenly show up.

As they say in “Among Us” - sus

I was chatting with the instructor after and she said she’s only ever had 1 man ever come to paint night before and she was surprised when 2 men applied and came on the same night - the first and only time she’s EVER said “girls night”. Maybe they thought that we’d be doing a live nude or something or maybe they just couldn’t stand the thought of there being something for women that they weren’t invited to. The instructor said she only said “girls night” as a kind of joke and had no legal ability to stop any men from attending. The class description said like “Girl Night! Come have a fun night with the girls to raise money for [local women’s charity]. Leave your hubby at home blah blah blah”

It annoys me that men see “girls night” “women only” and simply HAVE to invade.

FWIW they weren’t transwomen - just normal men.

I go to a paint night in the town next to mine once a month. We sit in a drafty garage with our canvas and paint and the instructor walks us through making our own painting. I have NEVER in 2 years of going EVER seen a man at paint night. This month the instructor had a “Girls Night” paint night to raise money or a local woman’s organization. 2 men were there. They didn’t raise a ruckus or cause any trouble but they were there. They have 24 paint nights a year to choose from and NEVER go but the one night when she says it’s “women only” 2 men suddenly show up. As they say in “Among Us” - sus I was chatting with the instructor after and she said she’s only ever had 1 man ever come to paint night before and she was surprised when 2 men applied and came on the same night - the first and only time she’s EVER said “girls night”. Maybe they thought that we’d be doing a live nude or something or maybe they just couldn’t stand the thought of there being something for women that they weren’t invited to. The instructor said she only said “girls night” as a kind of joke and had no legal ability to stop any men from attending. The class description said like “Girl Night! Come have a fun night with the girls to raise money for [local women’s charity]. Leave your hubby at home blah blah blah” It annoys me that men see “girls night” “women only” and simply HAVE to invade. FWIW they weren’t transwomen - just normal men.

20 comments

[–] WatcherattheGates 132 points (+132|-0)

Someone on Ovarit called this "violation thrills," and that seems absolutely right.

[–] GrilledPeaches 26 points (+26|-0)

This phrase instantly makes sense and what it refers to creeps me out so much

[–] Firestone 15 points (+15|-0)

This is the perfect term for this disgusting behavior and I'll use it from now on. It just fits too good.

[–] littleowl12 74 points (+74|-0)

When they hear "girls night" they take it in the bar sense of the term. They think it's a place to "pick up chicks."

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 51 points (+53|-2)

THIS.

Men's magazines and "bro" columns tell them the best way to meet women is to go to activities women like to do (sign up for cooking classes, sewing circles, etc..)

Lazy ones just look for "women" only events to guarantee they'll be the only males there on the prowl to increase their chances. (eyeroll)

[–] PlainSimpleTailor 15 points (+15|-0)

Lazy ones just look for "women" only events to guarantee they'll be the only males there on the prowl to increase their chances. (eyeroll)

Ugh I too roll my eyes at that so hard. Men truly believe that "scoring" a woman is only a matter of being the first/only man. Men (mostly) back off if you tell them you have a boyfriend/husband, but not if you're just not interested. "Not yet posessed by another male = up for grabs". That's their logic. The woman's desires, feelings and agency play no role whatsoever.

[–] Karina 41 points (+41|-0)

Because, they don't know. If nothing said, they can't be sure if women will be there. But once it stated, they know this place contains women. They desperately attracted to it like flies

[–] Shinyowl 37 points (+37|-0)

Men get off on violating boundaries.

No other explanation.

[–] Qiobe 30 points (+30|-0)

Men are depraved. They read "have a fun night with the girls" and immediately assume this has to mean something sexual. Because obviously there is no way women having fun doesn't mean a big lesbian orgy, right?!

[–] [Deleted] 25 points (+25|-0) Edited

Imagining their disappointment when it dawned on them that actually they were just expected to sit quietly and paint is making me cackle.

[–] mathlover 22 points (+22|-0)

The core lessons of male socialization, especially male sexuality, is violation of boundaries and domination. Everything they get pleasure from has some component of those, especially the violation of (usually womens) boundaries. Besides being there for access to women for potential dating/sex, they get off on being where they really don't belong.

[–] [Deleted] 18 points (+18|-0)

The behavior of someone who has never been told no and feels entitled to everything and everyone. Disgusting.

[–] Raea 7 points (+7|-0)

I conduct these classes. I groups are frequently coed and I even have a few guys that don't show up with ladies who paint regularly with us.

However out of six or seven classes a month at least once a month I have to escort an ogling man who wanders in and refuses to leave. As if everyone in the room wants to hear his opinion about their art.

Additionally at least three times a month men approach me while I am not speaking and tell me how I really ought to be running my business. I frequently find myself informing them that I have three degrees and have been a fine arts professional for the past 26 years and that I don't appreciate being told how to live my life.

I can't count the number of times that I have actually physically grabbed a man's shoulder and steered him out of a room because he was harassing my painters.

Last week I was in the ballroom of a local 3-star hotel conducting a class for a bridal shower. Two men were walking up and down the hallway in front of our door and sticking their heads in. During a moment where my group was just working I stepped out and stood in the hallway and waited for them. I then said I would like to leave the doors of this private event open but I will have to close them and report you to management if you do not stop leering.

If I held a women only event and two men showed up I would promptly refund their money and tell them to get the f*** out of my class

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