I've been watching some Helen Joyce interviews lately, and while I absolutely love what she has to say on trans ideology and the incredibly intelligent and logical way she does it, there's just one thing that I can't stand, and that's her use of "preferred pronouns."

Pronouns are words that are used in the place of a noun that has previously been indicated, which allows us to avoid repetition and makes speech more succinct. Third person pronouns in English are unique in that there are separate words to indicate the subject's sex, "he" and "she."

These two words have always been used to indicate the sex of the subject being spoken about, not their inner "gender identity," which would be absurd as that "inner identity" is neither observable to a third party or verifiable and immutable in any way, but sex is. "Gender identity" also did not exist as a concept when these words were introduced.

We don't use pronouns to "validate our identities", we use them to convey information, namely, who is being talked about or addressed and in the case of the third person pronoun, their sex. The pronoun used in a sentence has the potential to change the entire meaning of what is being said and gives different background information and context to the situation.

"She attacked the woman and raped her," carries entirely different consequences than "He attacked the woman and raped her." "The spectators booed her as she won the women's race" carries different implications than "Spectators booed him as he won the women's race." "She has written extensively about menstrual cycles and pregnancy" is not the same statement as "He has written extensively about menstrual cycles and pregnancy." And the same with "She was helping the little girls change out of their swimsuits in the locker room while changing herself" compared to "He was helping the little girls change out of their swimsuits in the locker room while changing himself."

Third person pronouns are not typically even used when the subject being spoken about is present. They are not directed at the subject himself/herself. They are used to communicate with a different third party, and therefore, it is actually extremely disrespectful to the listener to use "preferred pronouns" instead of the correct pronouns for a person's sex.

The first reason it is disrespectful is that it is misleading and confusing to the listener. Inaccurate information is being conveyed and the listener is being led to form a picture in their head that is entirely different from the reality of the situation. This is especially true if the listener is not aware the subject being spoken about is "trans." The listener is being deceived and is not being allowed to form accurate conclusions based on the information presented. They are being fed what is essentially a lie.

The second reason is that even if the person is aware the subject is "trans," the use of the incorrect pronoun is forcing them to play pretend in a game they want no part of and did not consent to playing. The person who is not even present is dictating which words are to be used to describe them, which is incredibly authoritarian and controlling in nature, and for people who don't believe in "gender identity" nonsense, it feels extremely insulting to be forced to play this game or to allow this belief to dictate how we are allowed to use the English language. There are no other words that we are allowed to dictate others use to describe us aside from a person's name, which is a unique arbitrary descriptor that is needed to distinguish one person from another and has no added meaning behind it. "Sam" tells me nothing about the sex, age, personality, nationality, or even species of the subject, although one could try to infer certain information.

The third reason it's insulting is that as these words refer to sex, they carry all the associations that go along with females and males. Using "she" to refer to a male implies that he has knowledge of and has personally experienced all that goes along with being female, which he has not. This is, of course, offensive to all women, as we actually have had those experiences, and pretending or implying that a male person has had them as well is patronizing and ignorant of our experience.

I've heard many times that "preferred pronouns" are used as a sign of respect. By this logic, it would mean that doing the opposite would be an insult. This would mean that "he" and "she" are insulting words, which they aren't. If "she" is an insult, it would mean that everyone who is called "she" is being slighted. It's not an insult to be called "she" as a female, unless the person being talked about has a very low opinion of females in general and is inferring that the speaker is associating some negative qualities of females with them. This is the case when boys call each other "girls" as an insult to mean they're weak or gay.

Intent and context also matter. For example, calling someone a "dog" might be insulting if it's being yelled in a fight, but not insulting if used to refer to a "puppy." In this case, when I use the word "she" or "he," I'm not doing it to hurt the subject but, again, to indicate their sex in order for the listener to get the clearest idea of the situation possible. "He" and "she" have never been used to insult people we don't like, as it would be an incredibly asinine "insult" and, quite frankly, ineffective as most people on earth don't care at all how they are referred to when they aren't around to hear it.

I've also noticed many of those who demand the use of "preferred pronouns" have no issue hurling actual insulting language at others and being extremely disrespectful to them. They'll use "she" for Caitlin Jenner, but then go on to call him derogatory names. This is extremely contrary and hypocritical to demand others control their own language to be "respectful" while being disrespectful themselves with every other word used to describe the subject.

Then there are those who use "preferred pronouns" when they believe a person has "earned" it. This is, of course, ridiculous.

Pronouns are not words of respect. They are not used for the benefit of the person being spoken about, but for the benefit of the listener or reader. They aren't a privilege to be "earned" or "lost." They aren't rewards or punishments. They are a tool for accurate and succinct communication. Let's go back to using them that way like intelligent human beings.