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Thousands of people shared their Peak Trans stories on r/GenderCritical before trans activists managed to pressure Reddit into censoring us. If you shared before, please share again.


Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be tolerant and kind, until we really listened to what they were saying and compared it to our own knowledge and experience.

  • Can "woman" be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Can men give birth? Do trans women really have periods?

  • Is it fair for males to compete with girls and women in women's sports?

  • Should people be forced to "accept" that trans women are women, and be compelled to say so? Should people really be censored for disagreeing, or saying anything contrary about it?

  • Should women be called "cis women" even when they don't identify with sexist gender roles, just because they aren't trans? Doesn't the claim that gender is some kind of natural, inborn psychological phenomenon contradict decades of feminists saying gender is a limiting social construct that is forced on us by society?

  • Should girls who don't like dolls or dresses be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones? Should we be cavalier about prescribing puberty blockers to children when they can cause life-long health problems?

  • Should women be shamed as trans-exclusionary for talking about our reproductive health and anatomy? Are "pussy hats" transphobic?

  • Is it acceptable for lesbians to be bullied for not wanting to have relationships with trans women? Doesn't the struggle against the "cotton ceiling" contradict everything we've been saying about enthusiastic consent and rape culture?

  • Should women be denied the option of not seeing a penis in a women's shower room? Is it really transphobia that makes women alarmed at seeing males in women-only spaces? Is it actually transphobic for women to not want trans women in women-only rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, or prisons?

  • Should women never be allowed to exclude males from any women's spaces, groups, or events? Are people who disagree with what trans activists say really all "trans exclusionary radical feminists" or "TERFs," even when they aren't feminists or trans-exclusionary?

What is peak trans?

Many of us called this “peak trans”—that moment when you realize “trans rights” are not really about supporting a marginalized population, but about undermining the rights of girls and women and bullying people into accepting transgender ideology. –Thistle Peterson: How I Became the Most Hated Folk Singer in Madison

Are you ready to reach peak trans? Or you just want to know what those "TERFs" you've heard about are saying so you can debunk them? Read on... and get ready to add your own story!


NOTE: Please reserve this space for peak trans stories only! Brief messages of welcome are fine, but if something here inspires you to more discussion, please make a new post.

Thousands of people shared their Peak Trans stories on r/GenderCritical before trans activists managed to pressure Reddit into censoring us. If you shared before, please share again. * [Peak Trans Reprise I](https://www.ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/121/peak-trans-reprise-tell-your-story-here) ----- **Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be tolerant and kind, until we really listened to what they were saying and compared it to our own knowledge and experience.** - Can "woman" be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Can men give birth? Do trans women really have periods? - Is it fair for males to compete with girls and women in women's sports? - Should people be forced to "accept" that trans women are women, and be compelled to say so? Should people really be censored for disagreeing, or saying anything contrary about it? - Should women be called "cis women" even when they don't identify with sexist gender roles, just because they aren't trans? Doesn't the claim that gender is some kind of natural, inborn psychological phenomenon contradict decades of feminists saying gender is a limiting social construct that is forced on us by society? - Should girls who don't like dolls or dresses be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones? Should we be cavalier about prescribing puberty blockers to children when they can cause life-long health problems? - Should women be shamed as trans-exclusionary for talking about our reproductive health and anatomy? Are "pussy hats" transphobic? - Is it acceptable for lesbians to be bullied for not wanting to have relationships with trans women? Doesn't the struggle against the "cotton ceiling" contradict everything we've been saying about enthusiastic consent and rape culture? - Should women be denied the option of not seeing a penis in a women's shower room? Is it really transphobia that makes women alarmed at seeing males in women-only spaces? Is it actually transphobic for women to not want trans women in women-only rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, or prisons? - Should women never be allowed to exclude males from any women's spaces, groups, or events? Are people who disagree with what trans activists say really all "trans exclusionary radical feminists" or "TERFs," even when they aren't feminists or trans-exclusionary? ##What is peak trans? > Many of us called this “peak trans”—that moment when you realize “trans rights” are not really about supporting a marginalized population, but about undermining the rights of girls and women and bullying people into accepting transgender ideology. [–Thistle Peterson: How I Became the Most Hated Folk Singer in Madison](https://archive.is/o/XVLl1/https://uncommongroundmedia.com/thistle-pettersen-how-i-became-the-most-hated-folk-singer-in-madison/) Are you ready to reach peak trans? Or you just want to know what those "TERFs" you've heard about are saying so you can debunk them? Read on... and get ready to add your own story! ----- NOTE: Please reserve this space for peak trans stories only! Brief messages of welcome are fine, but if something here inspires you to more discussion, please make a new post.

133 comments

[–] EternaEspiral evil latina terf 53 points

Like many others, the day I officially peaked was the day of the JK Rowling scandal. But I was already restless since months before. It all started when I thought I was among friends because I was among lesbians -I had just met them but you know..- and I said "oh yeah I'm a lesbian I hate dicks". They allt turned serious and one said to me "some girls have dicks". I was confused and felt threatened so I was like ah.. hahahahah.. yeah.. I've been raped so.. I don't feel comfortable you know? They started saying "oh okay, then you should take some therapy to treat that because you know that could be transphobic blah blah" I was SO confused I couldn't stop thinking about it. Some days after that they introduced me to a TiM, then as the night went on they tried to persuade me to hit on him and we're suggesting we go out together and that "we'd be a great couple". Thankfully I left.

But that got me thinking. And I remembered the one time I had gone to this rich, old TiM's house/art study/sex dungeon and he'd felt really uncomfortable seeing him hit on one of my -20 years younger than him- exes and then agressively corrected by all the attendants on misgendering him (I didn't even do it on purpose I was just talking in english and it's not my main language). They said I had just made their "safe space" feel unsafe?

Fast forward to the JK thing I was so fucking done with that shit, I had googled, I had investigated, I had read. So I positioned myself in support of JK and damn did it rain on me. Friendships I had had for a decade were telling me all kinds of crap from "why can't you accept girldick if you like dildos" to "honestly I can't talk to you anymore because you're a fascist".. Then followed MONTHS of death threats including videos of real murders of women, threats of decapitation, of rape, of my Twitter account exposed on "terfsgonnaterf" pages, of threats of violence to me and my girlfriend, of getting banned out of parties, bars, and feminist spaces as dumb as embroidery workshops, of family infighting with my "non binary" younger sister and even couple fights with my queer activist girlfriend...

So yeah. I've had enough. I'm never shutting up ever again, what else can I lose? Friendships? Lost already. Jobs? Mhm that too. Opportunities? Rather look elsewhere. So far girlfriend is still with me but we still fight about it. But yeah.

This is a hill I'm dying on because I am a female homosexual and I will ALWAYS defend my right to exist and the freedom of other women to do so too. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Fuck that mysoginistic garbage. ¡Lesbiana y feminista siempre!

What happened to you is disgusting :(

[–] EternaEspiral evil latina terf 16 points

The most disgusting thing is that its not even an exception, when I started not that other lesbians and rape survivors were going through this shit too I was like wtffff

Wow you've really had a lot of backlash.

[–] EternaEspiral evil latina terf 13 points

Yes it has been pretty sucky. I've cried a lot and even felt suicidal at some point but oh well.. coping better now :/

You're really brave to stand by your guns despite all that abuse.

[–] EternaEspiral evil latina terf 10 points

I mean.. I do get very sad/upset/lonely/desperate sometimes but I feel it's one of these things in life when once you pull the curtain there's no going back, I can't unsee all the crap now :/

so sorry all this crap happened to you, that is just sick. I don't know how these people can think they're the ones being compassionate when they behave like that.

[–] bellatrixbells BoobatrixRex 7 points

I can't believe they will tell a woman to get therapy after being raped not for her own well being, but to avoid hurting the feelings of the men who want to use her as a validation dispenser or fulfill their fantasy or fucking a lesbian. That's a peaking manufacture for me.

I can. Without exception, every single person I told about my rapist transing was far more preoccupied with respecting the rapist's pronouns and making sure I knew that was very important than they were with even bothering to check whether I was all right.

[–] bellatrixbells BoobatrixRex 4 points

Misogyny 101.

I am so fucking sorry you had to experience this. When I got raped, outside of a woke circle, I had numerous mutual friends say to me that they had forgiven him and couldn't understand why I wouldn't since they had.

People (mostly men) are uncomfortable dealing with rapists. They'll use whatever excuse they have. In Canada we have therapy that specializes with rape survivors, though I haven't interacted with them after gender craze.

In any case, assuming that wasn't clear, that guy is a fucking guy and if he's a rapist then fuck him. You didn't deserve this and he sucks. Fuck. This. Shithead.

"why can't you accept girldick if you like dildos"

Since when the fuck can a dildo make someone pregnant. Enjoying penetration doesn't make you hetero!

See this lovely Wikipedia entry: Hypatia controversy

This completely peaked me. I was an undergraduate at the time and my mind was just blown that such a tame article that didn’t even take a position on trans issues, merely drew a valid comparison, would destroy a woman’s career and nearly take down a highly respected, professional academic journal. It was just mind-boggling.

I’d had my concerns before about where things were going with the TRAs, but I pushed them aside because it seemed like a distant issue. Then this happened, and more personally a close male friend came out to me as a “lesbian.” That was it for me.

I found r/GenderCritical once all this JKR stuff hit the fan this year, and a week later the sub was gone. Now I‘m here and on SaidIt and more ready than ever to fight back on this thing.

[–] Riothamus scrote 26 points

I'm sure the irony of men attacking a magazine named Hypatia for wrongthink wasn't lost on any critical thinker who paid attention.

I would like to think so, though I fear it’s not that simple. The situation in academia right now is dire. Most of the sane ones are 55+ and on their way to retirement, while TRAs and their ilk are getting tenure track positions in droves.

The result is that an entire generation of future scholars are being brainwashed. Some of the smartest people I know buy into this stuff (though admittedly the most fervent ones are never that intelligent). It’s hard to break out of the groupthink when the people shouting TWAW agree with you on pretty much every other issue. It took me a while. And younger GC women like me are too afraid of being cancelled and/or stalked to try and peak them in person, so we retreat to the Internet.

14 years ago, I was in my mid 30s, freshly out of a terrible relationship - what I now recognise as coercive control - and freshly online. (Bear with me, this is a long yarn, but it makes its way to the centre eventually). I was reading the Guardian comments section, then brand new, and among all the misogyny and anti-feminism I found some women speaking patiently but furiously, articulately and wrathfully, all the truths of feminist analysis. They were an intellectual lifeline as I started to find myself again, to forgive myself for being abused. Later, I found and followed their handles on Twitter.

Skip ahead a couple of years and a woman I was working with closely, agreed with politically, and was becoming very close friends with told me she was really a man and would begin taking hormones as soon as doctors would prescribe them. I gently suggested that there was a lot of room to be masculine in presentation and lifestyle without medical intervention. I talked about the butch aesthetic and expressed my fear that cross-sex hormones would damage her health. I didn’t know anything much, it just seemed obvious. “I am not a lesbian,” she said. And she said it with such venom. Now, I’m not a lesbian either, but I know a fair few as friends, admire many more as activists or artists, and downright revere the lesbian contribution to the women’s movement, so I was taken aback.

Time rolled along, my friend started taking testosterone and did seem a much happier person. So I trained myself to call them “him” (which I’ll keep doing here out of habit and affection) and joined many of his social media circles, and generally - this is about 2010 or so, we were best friends and I agreed with him on most things. Around then I started to hear that the women I had so admired in the Guardian, the ones I had followed on Twitter, were monstrous and didn’t accept my friend and other trans people, erased them, etc. You know the drill. It made me sad to hear that they were awful, but I had other things on my mind. I just unfollowed them and got on with life.

I followed some trans activists that people on twitter said were wonderful, and very quickly unfollowed them. Narcissistic rage was my ex-husband’s calling card, and I should have known what I was seeing, but I just thought “that’s more anger than I can deal with”. IRL I knew a couple of MtF transsexuals socially. They seemed nice enough and I thought they deserved to be happy, as much as anyone else. And of course there was my my friend. He introduced me to a younger trans man friend and I remember thinking, watching them together, that they were interacting just like women. Meantime, I couldn’t help but notice that trans women (TIMs) angry that lesbians wanted nothing to do with their penises sounded exactly like MRAs angry that women wanted nothing to do with their penises.

Still. I was progressive. Inclusive. Hadn’t I done a drag king act as a student? Was I not still pretty gender nonconforming? Didn’t my friend and his friends have human rights, shouldn’t they be allowed to pursue their best lives? In the course of preparing my drag king act I’d read some books about gender, and even toyed with maybe I was trans myself - certainly I’ve never been interested in stereotypical femininity, used a male nickname as a child, and I had loathed the way my body changed in adolescence. But motherhood changes your relationship to womanhood, I find, as does getting older; I knew I was female alright. I’d read a Kate Bornstein book that talked about conflicts over single-sex spaces in radical NY in the 70s and 80s and she acknowledged, after some wrestling, that trans women were socialised as men and tended to ride roughshod over women. “That’s settled then,” I thought. “They get it.”

Still, when I came across a blog post by one of those terrible trans-hating women I had once so admired, I read it, even though I was assured it was monstrous. I found it reasonable, thoughtful, and by no means unkind. I followed her again on Twitter. I followed some of the women she retweeted. For a long time I read and thought widely and said very little.

Then came 2014, and the now famous blog post Why I Went To War. I read it; I’m not sure why, since I’ve never believed in porn-as-liberation. All the same, it seemed entirely reasonable to me that a lesbian pornographer should exclude penises from her work. I loved the idea of “cis” being like “goy”. It seemed like a solution. I don’t see myself as a goy, it’s not a category that’s relevant to me, but I don’t mind Jewish friends calling me one, and might even use it myself in context: “we goyim and our Christmas traditions,” say. The analogy seemed perfect. I tweeted the blog, said I found it illuminating, and that I though lesbians should get to define lesbianism, which as far as I knew, was about sexual and romantic interest in our own sex. I didn’t get much pushback, as these things go, but what stuck with me was the very young trans man (TIF) I’d been friendly with who told me it was vile bigotry, and when I replied that I couldn’t see how, said “because you’re cis, dear.”

The penny, I swear it, dropped right then and I suddenly saw how that one little prefix-turned-word rewrote female oppression as privilege. I read more, I found more women to follow and for a while, tweeted furiously, trying to make other people see what had become so obvious to me. We were swimming against the tide. I stayed friends with my friend, being very tactful about our differences of opinion, but he knew because, briefly, I was so very vocal on Twitter.

Eventually I realised women were coming into the discussion who were better equiped to have it. They had bigger platforms, were less likely than I am to become incoherent when angry. Grassroots organisations appeared, lawyers and academics and journalists started making the case for women’s sex-based rights so much better than I ever could. And I was tired. And I work in a profession dominated by queer theory. I’m freelance now and can’t afford to alienate potential employers. Call me a coward, but I’ve retreated to anonymity.

I’ve been looking for a radical feminist space I can be my anonymous self in. I hope this is it

I suddenly saw how that one little prefix-turned-word rewrote female oppression as privilege.

[...] were less likely than I am to become incoherent when angry [...] And I work in a profession dominated by queer theory. I’m freelance now and can’t afford to alienate potential employers. Call me a coward, but I’ve retreated to anonymity. I’ve been looking for a radical feminist space I can be my anonymous self in. I hope this is it

I can relate SO MUCH to all of this...

Same!! All of it. This is really articulately written too :)

Given what happens to women who speak out, there's nothing wrong with retreating to anonymity if we do not have the protection of being reasonably well known. ;)

[–] no- 42 points

Believe it or not, I used to be a hardcore TRA, the kind that worshipped transwomen and would throw a big tantrum on tumblr every time my nonbinary identity was questioned. I don't remember exactly what peaked me, it was either realizing I couldn't identify out of sex based oppression, or acknowledging that I fetishized gay men and that played a big role in my issues with my gender identity. I've tried more than a few times to ignore how I feel about trans ideology because it's so popular and I hate upsetting people, so I do my best to keep quiet, but now more than ever it weighs on my conscience knowing exactly how misogynistic and homophobic this movement is, and feeling like there's not much I can do about it. I feel like I peak a little more every single day, with every death threat they send our way and every attempt at censorship they make in the name of banning hate speech.

Radical feminism has helped me understand and accept myself more than anything ever has, which I'll be forever grateful for. It's a breath of fresh air.

[–] darr 40 points

Meeting female "non-binary" people was what peaked me. I thought, WHYYY would you feel the need to say you're not a woman because you're GNC?! You are throwing all other women under the bus, reinforcing stereotypes that feminism has been fighting against for ages.

Then I discovered Rebecca Reilly-Cooper's work and there was no going back.

I agree...I am both empathetic to NB girls, but also really fucking annoyed with them. They are pretty much telling all other women that we are feminine stereotypes. If identifying as NB would mean no more rape or harrassment plus salary equity, shit, wouldn't all women have figured this out 10,000 years ago?

I know a nonbinary teenage girl who said something like, "Sexual harassment can happen to anyone! Even I have been sexually harassed, and I'm not even a girl!" Like, oh darling you are SO CLOSE....

Ohh, I feel SO UNCOMFORTABLE with my female nb friends... When they speak about why they're nb I feel like 1) they have issues with internalized misogyny and 2) Feels like they put themselves in a superior position, above us, "cis women" as if we call ourselves women because we indentify with all the crap patriarchy expects of women. But I feel sad for them, because they're trying to distance themselves from all the pressure and violence that women suffer in a daily basis but they will never get it as this nb rethoric, in my view, just works in the virtual realm.

It's a coping mechanism for them. It also makes you feel shitty because it feels like they're making a judgment about you for willingly identifying as a woman which you're not; you just are a woman. They don't get that you just can't identify yourself out of being what you are.

I've only been here for a few days, but in principle I've always been gender critical. I had a bit of a time as a tumblr SJW that started in about 2013. I read all these posts about racism and sexism and they blew my mind. Sure, there were always points I couldn't really agree with, but I just assumed that surely all these people are much more educated on these issues than I am and I just need to educate myself more to understand and agree. After all I didn't want to be ignorant or on the wrong side of history.

One thing I never could bring my brain to agree on is that transgenderism is valid. No matter how many people commented on a picture of a man with lipstick calling them a beautiful girl, I saw a man with lipstick. I kind of assumed that there are these few poor people with gender dysphoria who are helped if they transition as much as possible and everyone agrees to treat them as their chosen gender. I was kind of whatever about it. I thought things like nonbinary, genderfluid etc were clearly bullshit. But that's not something you could really say without being risking to be doxxed or at least intensely harassed.

I eventually grew out of tumblr, in part because I began to read other sources as well and found out that some frequently quoted statistics or supposedly scientific facts that are popular on tumblr are completely fake, misused, or have been disproven for years. There is a huge culture of blindly reposting everything the people you follow posts, noone ever stops to attempt to fact-check.

Still, the whole trans issue seemed so irrelevant for my life. I live in Germany, where I have never seen or known a trans person, I have never been asked to use special pronouns for anyone or really been confronted with the topic in everyday life. Like most people I hadn't really done any research into it. And that I think is the crux of the problem - most people supporting the TWAW stuff blindly support it because it seems vaguely connected to human rights, and have no idea about the reality behind it.

So recently I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole on both kiwifarms and then youtube, and informed myself, and saw how many trans women are really just autogynephiliacs, their versions of femininity downright offensive, the fetishy aspect that shines through for so many. I feel like I can now finally say that what I believe is that 'being trans' is not a thing. For women it is probably an attempt to escape being perceived as a woman and all the bullshit that comes with it. And for men I truly believe it is in 98% of cases a sexual thing, even though most of them will of course never admit it. Either way, even if it was a genuine belief to need to be someone else - you cannot just put on a dress and lipstick and become a woman. It does not work and it will never work.

Also, an hour ago I saw that my best friend (male) has started liking before/after pictures of MTF transformations on twitter. He has been on the way to becoming a furry for a while and I just tried my best to ignore it, if he ever announces he's a woman now I will flip my goddamn shit.

Your story is so similar to mine and many others. As women, we are socialized to be nice and accommodating, which is why there are so many "beautiful!" "queen!" "yaaaaaaass!" comments on photos of men in lipstick. No matter how attractive those men in lipstick are or how well the lipstick is applied, when many women see the man in lipstick, they automatically think "trans" and "oppressed" and "someone I should try to help feel positive!" They learned to use our female socialization against us, to ensure we don't question and keep quiet, else we get tarnished as "mean," "bitch," "Karen," or "TERF."

Also, I'd put good money on your friend going TIM or at least nonbinary soon, unfortunately. There is a huge overlap between TIMs and furries :(

As women, we are socialized to be nice and accommodating, which is why there are so many "beautiful!" "queen!" "yaaaaaaass!" comments on photos of men in lipstick. No matter how attractive those men in lipstick are or how well the lipstick is applied, when many women see the man in lipstick, they automatically think "trans" and "oppressed" and "someone I should try to help feel positive!"

OMG, exactly! Once I tried to have a critical conversation with one of my friends and she said "But I feel like protecting those peope, they're so opressed and we're so privileged". Not only they use our socialization to demand us to take care of them, to demand feminism to embrace everything and everyone, they also affirm that *we're privileged for being cis *(what's the privilege of being born female!?), and sometimes this guilt of being a "privileged cis woman" reinforces this behavior of protecting every men claiming to be a woman, despite any flaws they might have.

'we're so privileged' I feel for you so much, if I had a female friend who came out with that shit I think my head would explode.

And that I think is the crux of the problem - most people supporting the TWAW stuff blindly support it because it seems vaguely connected to human rights, and have no idea about the reality behind it.

This is exactly what I think! And this is one of the reasons why people trying to think critically of it are immediately labeled as intolerant or even fascists.

For women it is probably an attempt to escape being perceived as a woman and all the bullshit that comes with it.

Yup, agreed :(

I'm a bit older and had always been a supporter of LGB and T rights, back when both were deeply unpopular and it was still called transexual. In high school a MTF person in my class lived at my home for a bit because their parents were very abusive about it. A fair number of my good friends, even now, are FTM. All this to say is that I'm not exactly the type of person to peak. But I did.

A few years ago I was exhausted by, what felt to me, a sudden explosion all of the neogenders and neopronouns. it seemed an immature mockery of the real struggles of trans people.

It wasn't until after I had a child and a few trans-identified men I thought were friends decided to take it upon themselves to berate me for not raising my child as a "theyby" that I peaked. It wasn't like women having a discussion or debate. It felt so male, their anger, their yelling, their rage, their entitlement. These aren't women. They don't act like women, they don't talk like women. It was a sudden flash of realization and I am unable to go back. The curtain as been thrown back, the wool removed from my eyes, and the band-aid ripped off.

I decided then to check out what those evil TERFs were saying. I ended up on r/gendercritical and everything I read made sense. I felt at home and more at peace.

I still feel a bit conflicted. The modern trans movement is so deeply problematic and unlike the one I grew up with, I just can't support it anymore, but I don't have issue with old school transexuals or most FTM. In my heart, I think that trans-identification is most likely a mental disorder that could probably be treated in way as anorexia is treated, but I don't have quarrel with trans people who are not adopting the toxic mindset of the modern trans movement.

"I don't have quarrel with trans people who are not adopting the toxic mindset of the modern trans movement."

Same here.

It wasn't like women having a discussion or debate. It felt so male, their anger, their yelling, their rage, their entitlement. These aren't women. They don't act like women, they don't talk like women.

Exactly.

but I don't have quarrel with trans people who are not adopting the toxic mindset of the modern trans movement

It's really difficult though; is the modern version of the trans movement with all its misogyny truly a strange phenomenon? It is a kind of bullying-as-virtue this seems fuelled by how emboldened they are about getting away with stamping out what they feel is wrongthink that threatens them. But is it really that weird that it's gotten to this point, or is it the natural result of supporting a coping mechanism that's rooted in reality denialism?

I think it was only a matter of time before trans identifying individuals tried to push the bounds of what was acceptable in terms of their self-identity, since the whole thing is rooted in a request (or rather demand) that society play along with a lie that they tell themselves they need to cope.

I think I have always been peaked (?) I come from a science background and feminism was never interesting for me. More like, "I don't know, I don't care. Great that we can vote!" so I was not aware of what was going on with the feminist movement. Recently however, I started noticing a TRA's trend and the whole "trans woman are woman, pass it on" and that kind of things in FB (when I had one) and IG. Most come from female friends who identify as feminists or queer. This always rub me in a weird way, since I just couldn't wrap my head about the idea that somehow you can be born separated from your brain, or in a wrong body. Maybe because the whole concept is too metaphysical and like I said, I am a scientist. So for me it was clear that women have vaginas and men have penises, among other things which you can immediately recognize (I think they are called secondary sexual characteristics? English is not my first language, sorry!).

Anyway, I remember reposting a silly meme in facebook about "angela ponce" a TiM who was competing for Miss Universe title. The meme was very silly it was like "Because we are better than women at being women!" and a FB contact (male) completely blew on me like How dare I make fun of her and say what is a women! If "she" feels like a women then "she" is a women!! What do I know about womanhood!" And, frankly it was just so hilarious!! There I was, pregnant, and feeling like a Goddess while a man is trying to mansplain me what's like to be a woman!!!

That left me thinking though.. What is to be a women? I certainly don't shave, wear heels, or pink (except when I do because I feel like it?) and I couldn't care less about a beauty pageant!. It has to be something more objective.. what about our actual organs and gametes?! That seems like a good answer.

I didn't know my position actually belongs to GC until a few weeks ago. I was reading an article that landed on my inbox, it was something about TRAs again and the author was explaining how "TERFs are wrong" basically (and how she, a known TRA, wasn't aware that TERF was used as a slur.. Now I laugh!!). I didn't share the opinion of the author but I googled the word "TERF" since they seemed to share my point of view. Of course, google only showed me hate articles against TERF and how awful and horrible they are. I went to another browse engine (duckduckgo) and searched for TERF again and one of the results was mentioning the word "gender critical". Then I learned that the subreddit was banned.. but found Ovarit instead! and I've spent the last days browsing like crazy and learning as much as I can, and happy to be among like-minded gals!

[–] womenopausal witchbabe🧙‍♀️👶 1 points

Wow - that's a convoluted route! Thanks for putting the effort in. So glad you got here in the end.

I’m looking back and I believe it was coming across Magdelen Berns’ videos on youtube that really got me thinking. I googled her and then was led to the original GC subreddit, and what I read there just cemented it for me. I can’t recall if I was pregnant with my daughter at the time or if she was just a baby, but the fact that I am raising a daughter in this world really changed my perspective on things as well. I was very much a “live and let live” type person and had always kept an open mind when it came to lgbt issues as I have known I was bi since I was 15 years old. I had just assumed the t should be in there with the lgb and never really questioned it. I spent some time living in San Francisco and was really happy to be in a place where people’s freedoms are accepted and celebrated, although I did and do feel quite a bit of discomfort with things like Folsom St Fair bringing kink out into the wide open streets. It was just kind of pounded into my mind not to judge others and I didn’t think too critically on that. Seeing Magdalen’s videos really opened my eyes to the many logical fallacies used by TRA’s. I think one of the most eye opening things I learned about when first scrolling through GC was about AGPs as opposed to “traditional” effeminate homosexual men who pursued a transgender/transsexual lifestyle. Reading the stories of lesbians and trans wives online horrified me. Learning about women’s spaces being eradicated so that all genders feel “safe” has really upset me. I’ve tried talking to a few “mom” friends of mine and asked their opinions but they seem to have drunk the koolaid. Interestingly they are all the moms of sons, and I guess I could see that if I had a son I would think the future would look bright for him if he decided one day he was a girl/woman. Obviously being the mother of a girl, I’ve got a very different opinion.

My friends took me to the Folsom Street Fair in about 1990. They loved it, and one of their roommates--an abused 17-year-old boy--was planning to perform a bizarre sexual-masochistic ritual in it.

I was horrified. I thought, 'This is why lesbians and gay men can't win safety and equality: because bigots can point to this crap."

I'm really disappointed that many of the major LGB events have fetishy stuff so... front and center. I think it's important to keep a degree of separation from sex related events for that reason.

Used to support TWAW and argue for it. Eventually learned of the "cotton-ceiling" and had my first "Umm, what the fuck?!" moment. I felt quite unsure and worried after that and stopped giving my support. Soon after, I saw people talking about reddit gendercritical and how awful it was. Curiosity got the better of me and I took a look, read some of the posts. I peaked and felt relieved that other people were also thoroughly disgusted with the rapey shit.

<3

So, I used to be a TRA until around 6 months ago. Or better, I was really keen on trans rights, but still wanted to research it because I felt I had a lot of unanswered questions.

My first lowkey peak moment was WitchesVSpatriarchy (WvsP) sub when a "terf" was being effectively bullied and I remember saying that it was wrong to say "choke on my girl dick", but also "terfs are awful, gtfo". However I remember being impressed by the compassionate response of that woman, not the exact words but the sentiment.

The key question that always bothered me was "what is a woman?" because I did not feel like a woman. I thought that I identified as a woman because if someone asked me what gender I was I would have answered "woman (or female)".

Before I peaked I got a slower period where the TRA rethoric of "chicking on a girldick" started to really bother me. I quickly unsubscribed from a few subreddits were there were plenty of TRAs. The only feminist/political sub I was following was WvsP, and that is where it happened. Another "choke on a girldick" comment. That was when I had enough.

I went again to the forbidden "debate subreddit" and started reading. Then I started to take part and that is how I challenged my beliefs. I am not sure whether I would say I am a radical feminist, gender critical, or a "terf". But I have def identified myself as one of those because it doesn't bother me and sometimes it is more about having a united front than passing a purity test.

Staying on the debate sub meant being peaked pretty much every other day. There was so many crazy theories (I am distraught that I don't have screenshot of the person that kept saying that corpses don't have a sex) that kept being defended. That was what allowed me to fully understanding that TRA ideology is basically a cult and there are so many deeply disturbed people that are encouraged by those healthy ones that see everything as a game.

yeah I think the choking on 'girl dick' really put the final nail in my peaking casket tbh. Women don't use sexual violence to threaten other women into shutting up and Women don't think of sexual violence in such a casual disgusting way, Men do.

"Women don't use sexual violence to threaten other women into shutting up"

Well said. And, it boggles my mind that liberal feminists tolerate/deny/ignore the rape and death threats that men who self-identify as female make against their gender critical sisters.

The threats of violence against "TERFS" are shocking to me. When they are called out or examples given, it's always excused by saying that a) it never happens, b) it's a joke, or c) the folks threatening the violence are not representing trans women. What I have never seen is TRA calling the threats of violence out as inappropriate and unacceptable. It's shameful.

I think you, along with many of, feel that to be a good leftist or feminist or even just a non-bigoted person, you need to subscribe to a list of beliefs. This is due to a breakdown in civil debate, critical thinking and the psychological pull of group identity. Some 'beliefs' once scrutinized, don't stand the test of reason, or even human compassion. I think this is what has happened with gender ideology. It's more like a religion.

There's a model that people use to classify Cults called the B.I.T.E model and its frightening just how well this TRA mantra and behaviour fit into it. It's like a cult, a cult that for some reason so many 'cis' 😒 people are in.

I am not sure whether I would say I am a radical feminist, gender-critical, or a "terf". But I have def identified myself as one of those because it doesn't bother me and sometimes it is more about having a united front than passing a purity test.>

I respect this so much. This is why I have an issue with certain contrarians who don't call themselves feminists anymore even though they align with radfem 95%. Sometimes it's more important to stand under the same banner than to insist on some sort of ideological purity or, even worse, try to make yourself more likable to the general population by NOT calling yourself a feminist.

Thank you for sharing your story.

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