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Thousands of people shared their Peak Trans stories on r/GenderCritical before trans activists managed to pressure Reddit into censoring us. If you shared before, please share again.


Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be tolerant and kind, until we really listened to what they were saying and compared it to our own knowledge and experience.

  • Can "woman" be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Can men give birth? Do trans women really have periods?

  • Is it fair for males to compete with girls and women in women's sports?

  • Should people be forced to "accept" that trans women are women, and be compelled to say so? Should people really be censored for disagreeing, or saying anything contrary about it?

  • Should women be called "cis women" even when they don't identify with sexist gender roles, just because they aren't trans? Doesn't the claim that gender is some kind of natural, inborn psychological phenomenon contradict decades of feminists saying gender is a limiting social construct that is forced on us by society?

  • Should girls who don't like dolls or dresses be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones? Should we be cavalier about prescribing puberty blockers to children when they can cause life-long health problems?

  • Should women be shamed as trans-exclusionary for talking about our reproductive health and anatomy? Are "pussy hats" transphobic?

  • Is it acceptable for lesbians to be bullied for not wanting to have relationships with trans women? Doesn't the struggle against the "cotton ceiling" contradict everything we've been saying about enthusiastic consent and rape culture?

  • Should women be denied the option of not seeing a penis in a women's shower room? Is it really transphobia that makes women alarmed at seeing males in women-only spaces? Is it actually transphobic for women to not want trans women in women-only rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, or prisons?

  • Should women never be allowed to exclude males from any women's spaces, groups, or events? Are people who disagree with what trans activists say really all "trans exclusionary radical feminists" or "TERFs," even when they aren't feminists or trans-exclusionary?

What is peak trans?

Many of us called this “peak trans”—that moment when you realize “trans rights” are not really about supporting a marginalized population, but about undermining the rights of girls and women and bullying people into accepting transgender ideology. –Thistle Peterson: How I Became the Most Hated Folk Singer in Madison

Are you ready to reach peak trans? Or you just want to know what those "TERFs" you've heard about are saying so you can debunk them? Read on... and get ready to add your own story!


NOTE: Please reserve this space for peak trans stories only! Brief messages of welcome are fine, but if something here inspires you to more discussion, please make a new post.

Thousands of people shared their Peak Trans stories on r/GenderCritical before trans activists managed to pressure Reddit into censoring us. If you shared before, please share again. * [Peak Trans Reprise I](https://www.ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/121/peak-trans-reprise-tell-your-story-here) ----- **Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be tolerant and kind, until we really listened to what they were saying and compared it to our own knowledge and experience.** - Can "woman" be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Can men give birth? Do trans women really have periods? - Is it fair for males to compete with girls and women in women's sports? - Should people be forced to "accept" that trans women are women, and be compelled to say so? Should people really be censored for disagreeing, or saying anything contrary about it? - Should women be called "cis women" even when they don't identify with sexist gender roles, just because they aren't trans? Doesn't the claim that gender is some kind of natural, inborn psychological phenomenon contradict decades of feminists saying gender is a limiting social construct that is forced on us by society? - Should girls who don't like dolls or dresses be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones? Should we be cavalier about prescribing puberty blockers to children when they can cause life-long health problems? - Should women be shamed as trans-exclusionary for talking about our reproductive health and anatomy? Are "pussy hats" transphobic? - Is it acceptable for lesbians to be bullied for not wanting to have relationships with trans women? Doesn't the struggle against the "cotton ceiling" contradict everything we've been saying about enthusiastic consent and rape culture? - Should women be denied the option of not seeing a penis in a women's shower room? Is it really transphobia that makes women alarmed at seeing males in women-only spaces? Is it actually transphobic for women to not want trans women in women-only rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, or prisons? - Should women never be allowed to exclude males from any women's spaces, groups, or events? Are people who disagree with what trans activists say really all "trans exclusionary radical feminists" or "TERFs," even when they aren't feminists or trans-exclusionary? ##What is peak trans? > Many of us called this “peak trans”—that moment when you realize “trans rights” are not really about supporting a marginalized population, but about undermining the rights of girls and women and bullying people into accepting transgender ideology. [–Thistle Peterson: How I Became the Most Hated Folk Singer in Madison](https://archive.is/o/XVLl1/https://uncommongroundmedia.com/thistle-pettersen-how-i-became-the-most-hated-folk-singer-in-madison/) Are you ready to reach peak trans? Or you just want to know what those "TERFs" you've heard about are saying so you can debunk them? Read on... and get ready to add your own story! ----- NOTE: Please reserve this space for peak trans stories only! Brief messages of welcome are fine, but if something here inspires you to more discussion, please make a new post.

46 comments

[–] Constantine 32 points (+32|-0)

See this lovely Wikipedia entry: Hypatia controversy

This completely peaked me. I was an undergraduate at the time and my mind was just blown that such a tame article that didn’t even take a position on trans issues, merely drew a valid comparison, would destroy a woman’s career and nearly take down a highly respected, professional academic journal. It was just mind-boggling.

I’d had my concerns before about where things were going with the TRAs, but I pushed them aside because it seemed like a distant issue. Then this happened, and more personally a close male friend came out to me as a “lesbian.” That was it for me.

I found r/GenderCritical once all this JKR stuff hit the fan this year, and a week later the sub was gone. Now I‘m here and on SaidIt and more ready than ever to fight back on this thing.

[–] Riothamus 19 points (+19|-0)

I'm sure the irony of men attacking a magazine named Hypatia for wrongthink wasn't lost on any critical thinker who paid attention.

[–] Constantine 14 points (+14|-0)

I would like to think so, though I fear it’s not that simple. The situation in academia right now is dire. Most of the sane ones are 55+ and on their way to retirement, while TRAs and their ilk are getting tenure track positions in droves.

The result is that an entire generation of future scholars are being brainwashed. Some of the smartest people I know buy into this stuff (though admittedly the most fervent ones are never that intelligent). It’s hard to break out of the groupthink when the people shouting TWAW agree with you on pretty much every other issue. It took me a while. And younger GC women like me are too afraid of being cancelled and/or stalked to try and peak them in person, so we retreat to the Internet.

[–] kalina 29 points (+29|-0)

I've only been here for a few days, but in principle I've always been gender critical. I had a bit of a time as a tumblr SJW that started in about 2013. I read all these posts about racism and sexism and they blew my mind. Sure, there were always points I couldn't really agree with, but I just assumed that surely all these people are much more educated on these issues than I am and I just need to educate myself more to understand and agree. After all I didn't want to be ignorant or on the wrong side of history.

One thing I never could bring my brain to agree on is that transgenderism is valid. No matter how many people commented on a picture of a man with lipstick calling them a beautiful girl, I saw a man with lipstick. I kind of assumed that there are these few poor people with gender dysphoria who are helped if they transition as much as possible and everyone agrees to treat them as their chosen gender. I was kind of whatever about it. I thought things like nonbinary, genderfluid etc were clearly bullshit. But that's not something you could really say without being risking to be doxxed or at least intensely harassed.

I eventually grew out of tumblr, in part because I began to read other sources as well and found out that some frequently quoted statistics or supposedly scientific facts that are popular on tumblr are completely fake, misused, or have been disproven for years. There is a huge culture of blindly reposting everything the people you follow posts, noone ever stops to attempt to fact-check.

Still, the whole trans issue seemed so irrelevant for my life. I live in Germany, where I have never seen or known a trans person, I have never been asked to use special pronouns for anyone or really been confronted with the topic in everyday life. Like most people I hadn't really done any research into it. And that I think is the crux of the problem - most people supporting the TWAW stuff blindly support it because it seems vaguely connected to human rights, and have no idea about the reality behind it.

So recently I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole on both kiwifarms and then youtube, and informed myself, and saw how many trans women are really just autogynephiliacs, their versions of femininity downright offensive, the fetishy aspect that shines through for so many. I feel like I can now finally say that what I believe is that 'being trans' is not a thing. For women it is probably an attempt to escape being perceived as a woman and all the bullshit that comes with it. And for men I truly believe it is in 98% of cases a sexual thing, even though most of them will of course never admit it. Either way, even if it was a genuine belief to need to be someone else - you cannot just put on a dress and lipstick and become a woman. It does not work and it will never work.

Also, an hour ago I saw that my best friend (male) has started liking before/after pictures of MTF transformations on twitter. He has been on the way to becoming a furry for a while and I just tried my best to ignore it, if he ever announces he's a woman now I will flip my goddamn shit.

[–] boudica 16 points (+16|-0)

Your story is so similar to mine and many others. As women, we are socialized to be nice and accommodating, which is why there are so many "beautiful!" "queen!" "yaaaaaaass!" comments on photos of men in lipstick. No matter how attractive those men in lipstick are or how well the lipstick is applied, when many women see the man in lipstick, they automatically think "trans" and "oppressed" and "someone I should try to help feel positive!" They learned to use our female socialization against us, to ensure we don't question and keep quiet, else we get tarnished as "mean," "bitch," "Karen," or "TERF."

Also, I'd put good money on your friend going TIM or at least nonbinary soon, unfortunately. There is a huge overlap between TIMs and furries :(

[–] [Deleted] 8 points (+8|-0)

As women, we are socialized to be nice and accommodating, which is why there are so many "beautiful!" "queen!" "yaaaaaaass!" comments on photos of men in lipstick. No matter how attractive those men in lipstick are or how well the lipstick is applied, when many women see the man in lipstick, they automatically think "trans" and "oppressed" and "someone I should try to help feel positive!"

OMG, exactly! Once I tried to have a critical conversation with one of my friends and she said "But I feel like protecting those peope, they're so opressed and we're so privileged". Not only they use our socialization to demand us to take care of them, to demand feminism to embrace everything and everyone, they also affirm that *we're privileged for being cis *(what's the privilege of being born female!?), and sometimes this guilt of being a "privileged cis woman" reinforces this behavior of protecting every men claiming to be a woman, despite any flaws they might have.

[–] lilybud 2 points (+2|-0)

'we're so privileged' I feel for you so much, if I had a female friend who came out with that shit I think my head would explode.

[–] [Deleted] 5 points (+5|-0)

And that I think is the crux of the problem - most people supporting the TWAW stuff blindly support it because it seems vaguely connected to human rights, and have no idea about the reality behind it.

This is exactly what I think! And this is one of the reasons why people trying to think critically of it are immediately labeled as intolerant or even fascists.

For women it is probably an attempt to escape being perceived as a woman and all the bullshit that comes with it.

Yup, agreed :(

[–] no- 22 points (+22|-0)

Believe it or not, I used to be a hardcore TRA, the kind that worshipped transwomen and would throw a big tantrum on tumblr every time my nonbinary identity was questioned. I don't remember exactly what peaked me, it was either realizing I couldn't identify out of sex based oppression, or acknowledging that I fetishized gay men and that played a big role in my issues with my gender identity. I've tried more than a few times to ignore how I feel about trans ideology because it's so popular and I hate upsetting people, so I do my best to keep quiet, but now more than ever it weighs on my conscience knowing exactly how misogynistic and homophobic this movement is, and feeling like there's not much I can do about it. I feel like I peak a little more every single day, with every death threat they send our way and every attempt at censorship they make in the name of banning hate speech.

Radical feminism has helped me understand and accept myself more than anything ever has, which I'll be forever grateful for. It's a breath of fresh air.

[–] tervicorn 19 points (+19|-0)

I'm a bit older and had always been a supporter of LGB and T rights, back when both were deeply unpopular and it was still called transexual. In high school a MTF person in my class lived at my home for a bit because their parents were very abusive about it. A fair number of my good friends, even now, are FTM. All this to say is that I'm not exactly the type of person to peak. But I did.

A few years ago I was exhausted by, what felt to me, a sudden explosion all of the neogenders and neopronouns. it seemed an immature mockery of the real struggles of trans people.

It wasn't until after I had a child and a few trans-identified men I thought were friends decided to take it upon themselves to berate me for not raising my child as a "theyby" that I peaked. It wasn't like women having a discussion or debate. It felt so male, their anger, their yelling, their rage, their entitlement. These aren't women. They don't act like women, they don't talk like women. It was a sudden flash of realization and I am unable to go back. The curtain as been thrown back, the wool removed from my eyes, and the band-aid ripped off.

I decided then to check out what those evil TERFs were saying. I ended up on r/gendercritical and everything I read made sense. I felt at home and more at peace.

I still feel a bit conflicted. The modern trans movement is so deeply problematic and unlike the one I grew up with, I just can't support it anymore, but I don't have issue with old school transexuals or most FTM. In my heart, I think that trans-identification is most likely a mental disorder that could probably be treated in way as anorexia is treated, but I don't have quarrel with trans people who are not adopting the toxic mindset of the modern trans movement.

[–] [Deleted] 6 points (+6|-0)

It wasn't like women having a discussion or debate. It felt so male, their anger, their yelling, their rage, their entitlement. These aren't women. They don't act like women, they don't talk like women.

Exactly.

[–] Fortissima 0 points (+0|-0)

"I don't have quarrel with trans people who are not adopting the toxic mindset of the modern trans movement."

Same here.

[–] AriadneOnNaxos 19 points (+19|-0)

14 years ago, I was in my mid 30s, freshly out of a terrible relationship - what I now recognise as coercive control - and freshly online. (Bear with me, this is a long yarn, but it makes its way to the centre eventually). I was reading the Guardian comments section, then brand new, and among all the misogyny and anti-feminism I found some women speaking patiently but furiously, articulately and wrathfully, all the truths of feminist analysis. They were an intellectual lifeline as I started to find myself again, to forgive myself for being abused. Later, I found and followed their handles on Twitter.

Skip ahead a couple of years and a woman I was working with closely, agreed with politically, and was becoming very close friends with told me she was really a man and would begin taking hormones as soon as doctors would prescribe them. I gently suggested that there was a lot of room to be masculine in presentation and lifestyle without medical intervention. I talked about the butch aesthetic and expressed my fear that cross-sex hormones would damage her health. I didn’t know anything much, it just seemed obvious. “I am not a lesbian,” she said. And she said it with such venom. Now, I’m not a lesbian either, but I know a fair few as friends, admire many more as activists or artists, and downright revere the lesbian contribution to the women’s movement, so I was taken aback.

Time rolled along, my friend started taking testosterone and did seem a much happier person. So I trained myself to call them “him” (which I’ll keep doing here out of habit and affection) and joined many of his social media circles, and generally - this is about 2010 or so, we were best friends and I agreed with him on most things. Around then I started to hear that the women I had so admired in the Guardian, the ones I had followed on Twitter, were monstrous and didn’t accept my friend and other trans people, erased them, etc. You know the drill. It made me sad to hear that they were awful, but I had other things on my mind. I just unfollowed them and got on with life.

I followed some trans activists that people on twitter said were wonderful, and very quickly unfollowed them. Narcissistic rage was my ex-husband’s calling card, and I should have known what I was seeing, but I just thought “that’s more anger than I can deal with”. IRL I knew a couple of MtF transsexuals socially. They seemed nice enough and I thought they deserved to be happy, as much as anyone else. And of course there was my my friend. He introduced me to a younger trans man friend and I remember thinking, watching them together, that they were interacting just like women. Meantime, I couldn’t help but notice that trans women (TIMs) angry that lesbians wanted nothing to do with their penises sounded exactly like MRAs angry that women wanted nothing to do with their penises.

Still. I was progressive. Inclusive. Hadn’t I done a drag king act as a student? Was I not still pretty gender nonconforming? Didn’t my friend and his friends have human rights, shouldn’t they be allowed to pursue their best lives? In the course of preparing my drag king act I’d read some books about gender, and even toyed with maybe I was trans myself - certainly I’ve never been interested in stereotypical femininity, used a male nickname as a child, and I had loathed the way my body changed in adolescence. But motherhood changes your relationship to womanhood, I find, as does getting older; I knew I was female alright. I’d read a Kate Bornstein book that talked about conflicts over single-sex spaces in radical NY in the 70s and 80s and she acknowledged, after some wrestling, that trans women were socialised as men and tended to ride roughshod over women. “That’s settled then,” I thought. “They get it.”

Still, when I came across a blog post by one of those terrible trans-hating women I had once so admired, I read it, even though I was assured it was monstrous. I found it reasonable, thoughtful, and by no means unkind. I followed her again on Twitter. I followed some of the women she retweeted. For a long time I read and thought widely and said very little.

Then came 2014, and the now famous blog post Why I Went To War. I read it; I’m not sure why, since I’ve never believed in porn-as-liberation. All the same, it seemed entirely reasonable to me that a lesbian pornographer should exclude penises from her work. I loved the idea of “cis” being like “goy”. It seemed like a solution. I don’t see myself as a goy, it’s not a category that’s relevant to me, but I don’t mind Jewish friends calling me one, and might even use it myself in context: “we goyim and our Christmas traditions,” say. The analogy seemed perfect. I tweeted the blog, said I found it illuminating, and that I though lesbians should get to define lesbianism, which as far as I knew, was about sexual and romantic interest in our own sex. I didn’t get much pushback, as these things go, but what stuck with me was the very young trans man (TIF) I’d been friendly with who told me it was vile bigotry, and when I replied that I couldn’t see how, said “because you’re cis, dear.”

The penny, I swear it, dropped right then and I suddenly saw how that one little prefix-turned-word rewrote female oppression as privilege. I read more, I found more women to follow and for a while, tweeted furiously, trying to make other people see what had become so obvious to me. We were swimming against the tide. I stayed friends with my friend, being very tactful about our differences of opinion, but he knew because, briefly, I was so very vocal on Twitter.

Eventually I realised women were coming into the discussion who were better equiped to have it. They had bigger platforms, were less likely than I am to become incoherent when angry. Grassroots organisations appeared, lawyers and academics and journalists started making the case for women’s sex-based rights so much better than I ever could. And I was tired. And I work in a profession dominated by queer theory. I’m freelance now and can’t afford to alienate potential employers. Call me a coward, but I’ve retreated to anonymity.

I’ve been looking for a radical feminist space I can be my anonymous self in. I hope this is it

[–] [Deleted] 8 points (+8|-0)

I suddenly saw how that one little prefix-turned-word rewrote female oppression as privilege.

[...] were less likely than I am to become incoherent when angry [...] And I work in a profession dominated by queer theory. I’m freelance now and can’t afford to alienate potential employers. Call me a coward, but I’ve retreated to anonymity. I’ve been looking for a radical feminist space I can be my anonymous self in. I hope this is it

I can relate SO MUCH to all of this...

[–] lilybud 3 points (+3|-0)

Same!! All of it. This is really articulately written too :)

[–] EvenMoreMinty 18 points (+18|-0)

Used to support TWAW and argue for it. Eventually learned of the "cotton-ceiling" and had my first "Umm, what the fuck?!" moment. I felt quite unsure and worried after that and stopped giving my support. Soon after, I saw people talking about reddit gendercritical and how awful it was. Curiosity got the better of me and I took a look, read some of the posts. I peaked and felt relieved that other people were also thoroughly disgusted with the rapey shit.

<3

[–] Osusanna 18 points (+18|-0)

I’m looking back and I believe it was coming across Magdelen Berns’ videos on youtube that really got me thinking. I googled her and then was led to the original GC subreddit, and what I read there just cemented it for me. I can’t recall if I was pregnant with my daughter at the time or if she was just a baby, but the fact that I am raising a daughter in this world really changed my perspective on things as well. I was very much a “live and let live” type person and had always kept an open mind when it came to lgbt issues as I have known I was bi since I was 15 years old. I had just assumed the t should be in there with the lgb and never really questioned it. I spent some time living in San Francisco and was really happy to be in a place where people’s freedoms are accepted and celebrated, although I did and do feel quite a bit of discomfort with things like Folsom St Fair bringing kink out into the wide open streets. It was just kind of pounded into my mind not to judge others and I didn’t think too critically on that. Seeing Magdalen’s videos really opened my eyes to the many logical fallacies used by TRA’s. I think one of the most eye opening things I learned about when first scrolling through GC was about AGPs as opposed to “traditional” effeminate homosexual men who pursued a transgender/transsexual lifestyle. Reading the stories of lesbians and trans wives online horrified me. Learning about women’s spaces being eradicated so that all genders feel “safe” has really upset me. I’ve tried talking to a few “mom” friends of mine and asked their opinions but they seem to have drunk the koolaid. Interestingly they are all the moms of sons, and I guess I could see that if I had a son I would think the future would look bright for him if he decided one day he was a girl/woman. Obviously being the mother of a girl, I’ve got a very different opinion.

[–] calming-tea 16 points (+16|-0)

So, I used to be a TRA until around 6 months ago. Or better, I was really keen on trans rights, but still wanted to research it because I felt I had a lot of unanswered questions.

My first lowkey peak moment was WitchesVSpatriarchy (WvsP) sub when a "terf" was being effectively bullied and I remember saying that it was wrong to say "choke on my girl dick", but also "terfs are awful, gtfo". However I remember being impressed by the compassionate response of that woman, not the exact words but the sentiment.

The key question that always bothered me was "what is a woman?" because I did not feel like a woman. I thought that I identified as a woman because if someone asked me what gender I was I would have answered "woman (or female)".

Before I peaked I got a slower period where the TRA rethoric of "chicking on a girldick" started to really bother me. I quickly unsubscribed from a few subreddits were there were plenty of TRAs. The only feminist/political sub I was following was WvsP, and that is where it happened. Another "choke on a girldick" comment. That was when I had enough.

I went again to the forbidden "debate subreddit" and started reading. Then I started to take part and that is how I challenged my beliefs. I am not sure whether I would say I am a radical feminist, gender critical, or a "terf". But I have def identified myself as one of those because it doesn't bother me and sometimes it is more about having a united front than passing a purity test.

Staying on the debate sub meant being peaked pretty much every other day. There was so many crazy theories (I am distraught that I don't have screenshot of the person that kept saying that corpses don't have a sex) that kept being defended. That was what allowed me to fully understanding that TRA ideology is basically a cult and there are so many deeply disturbed people that are encouraged by those healthy ones that see everything as a game.

[–] Hollyhock 11 points (+11|-0)

I think you, along with many of, feel that to be a good leftist or feminist or even just a non-bigoted person, you need to subscribe to a list of beliefs. This is due to a breakdown in civil debate, critical thinking and the psychological pull of group identity. Some 'beliefs' once scrutinized, don't stand the test of reason, or even human compassion. I think this is what has happened with gender ideology. It's more like a religion.

[–] lilybud 4 points (+4|-0)

There's a model that people use to classify Cults called the B.I.T.E model and its frightening just how well this TRA mantra and behaviour fit into it. It's like a cult, a cult that for some reason so many 'cis' 😒 people are in.

[–] lilybud 6 points (+6|-0)

yeah I think the choking on 'girl dick' really put the final nail in my peaking casket tbh. Women don't use sexual violence to threaten other women into shutting up and Women don't think of sexual violence in such a casual disgusting way, Men do.

[–] darr 16 points (+16|-0)

Meeting female "non-binary" people was what peaked me. I thought, WHYYY would you feel the need to say you're not a woman because you're GNC?! You are throwing all other women under the bus, reinforcing stereotypes that feminism has been fighting against for ages.

Then I discovered Rebecca Reilly-Cooper's work and there was no going back.

[–] [Deleted] 11 points (+11|-0)

Ohh, I feel SO UNCOMFORTABLE with my female nb friends... When they speak about why they're nb I feel like 1) they have issues with internalized misogyny and 2) Feels like they put themselves in a superior position, above us, "cis women" as if we call ourselves women because we indentify with all the crap patriarchy expects of women. But I feel sad for them, because they're trying to distance themselves from all the pressure and violence that women suffer in a daily basis but they will never get it as this nb rethoric, in my view, just works in the virtual realm.

[–] Hollyhock 6 points (+6|-0)

I agree...I am both empathetic to NB girls, but also really fucking annoyed with them. They are pretty much telling all other women that we are feminine stereotypes. If identifying as NB would mean no more rape or harrassment plus salary equity, shit, wouldn't all women have figured this out 10,000 years ago?

[–] Fortissima 1 points (+1|-0)

I know a nonbinary teenage girl who said something like, "Sexual harassment can happen to anyone! Even I have been sexually harassed, and I'm not even a girl!" Like, oh darling you are SO CLOSE....

[–] [Deleted] 15 points (+15|-0)

I always thought of myself as a transally until a couple of months ago, so it was really shocking to wake up and realize I was standing for a political cause with this many flaws. I come from a working class family and I had the privilege to attend college (1st gen in my fam), so I used to teach my mom about trans people, about how difficult it was for them to be born in the wrong body, I used to show her documentaries about trans kids and once I even donated for a person who identified themselves as a trans man for them to get their mastectomy. I was living a happy happy life carrying around my Judith Butler's books and joining leftist organizations at college to prevent TERFs to take part in public speeches. I thought I was standing for social progress.

It never occurred to me that I was claiming that trans women are women but that I didn't have a clear concept of what a woman is. I used to see trans women with tattoos saying "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman" by Simone de Beauvoir and I felt like congratulating my trans "sisters" for their bravery of being true to themselves, for becoming women. No one ever asked me "what's a woman? How can one feel like one? What is feeling like a woman?". And if I had the opportunity to be around someone with critical thinking that dared to come up and ask "if trans women are women what's a woman then?" I would've had my peak trans moment YEARS AGO. I blame myself to this very day for staying this much time in a toxic community and embracing such a toxic term as cis. I'm not cis and I would never call myself that ever again.

I woke up when I saw the backlash J.K. Rowling was facing because of her statement about periods on Twitter. All of my circle of irl and virtual friends were fuming against her and I started to see lots of comments along the lines of people claiming she should get raped or killed, people asking fans to burn her books, for her publishing company to drop her... It felt like too much, but to make matters worse there were men (straight and gay) writing raping threats and my female friends were... silent. Like, who gave those men the right to write that? How can a self-proclaimed feminist woman read that and think "Oh, it's okay, she deserves that, she's transphobic". I questioned one of my friends if that wasn't too much and she replied "her opinion kills trans people". And that was such a lame excuse... Because men are the ones killing trans people. Not us.

Fast forward, due to my discomfort of what was happening to Rowling I started to look for people standing for her and I found the RadFem community. I discovered terms as cotton-ceiling and read lesbians describing virtual attacks for not wanting to have sex with "female" penises, I read about how trans women reinforce beauty standards and sexist stereotypes (why are they trans women? Because they like pink and bras?), I started to see posts questioning the idea of female being a feeling, I saw what happens to trans men when they get phalloplasty and that's mutilation... And then I started to question why do we give hormones to healthy children, I saw all those trans kids documentaries all over again and all I could see were abused children, and realizing that if I had had contact with trans rhetoric when I was a 13 girl wearing "boys clothes" I would probably claim myself as trans too and what damages could I've done to my body? Why are those kids trans? When did I "chose" to be a woman to be called "cis"?

During this whole process, I had this nagging feeling at the back of my head that maybe I was a radfem and I spent weeks and weeks feeling like pure shit, because I didn't want to be evil, I didn't want to hate on people, I was a good person, a good woman... And this is the extent to which liberal feminism and trans activism alienate women by being scared and disgusted by anything remotely related to radical feminism. Right here where I live if you're associated with TERFy stuff you can lose your job. I'm still scared of following IG accounts dedicated to radfem because if JK Rowling - a famous, rich, powerful woman - is already a victim, what could happen to me, a broke woman from a third world country?

Before my peak trans moment, I had a friend whose cousin was a crossdresser. Nobody knew about it, just a very small circle of people. Once I was at their place and my friend was dressing him in a lolita dress and asked me for help with the makeup. I felt such affection for that guy, for being true to himself. I felt so good for, in some ways, helping him to feel welcome. Recently he came out as a trans woman and one of his Facebook posts is about how insensitive is for "cis" women to deny his access to a female bathroom, that most women are raped at home by relatives and not at public bathrooms, that he would use the bathroom he had the "right" to, because he's a woman too. Not to mention a whole other bunch of crap of him teaching woman what's a woman, what's gender, since he's now enrolled in a Gender Studies PhD... Now I wonder if he has autogynephilia and a fetish for female anime characters (frail looking women) and that's why he thinks he's a woman...

Since my peak trans moment, I have finally read Gender Trouble more carefully and that's a bunch of CRAP. I felt hurt and stupid, and SO ANGRY. I brought up some radfem concepts to my mom and asked her if she could relate and she confirmed. My mom didn't go to college, she's a poor woman who grew up in the countryside and when I read Woman Hating for her (adapting the language, of course) she saw herself in that. So what right does a man with a PhD in Gender Studies with a fetish for lolita dresses have to claim HE KNOWS what's a woman and ignore real women experiences such as my mom's? My mom is not a woman because she performs, like Butler says. She's a woman because of the materiality of her body. Because she was socialized as one. She has no escape, I have no escape.

All these realizations came together for me to see that I'm alone in my circle of friends. I tried to speak to at least five of my friends and just one agreed, but hesitantly. One called me intolerant right to my face. I see trans activism claims and people bragging about how inclusive Queer Theory is and I feel like this is pure sexism and elitism. My country is a third world nation. Women here marry around the age of 14, we have shockingly high rates of rape... Most women don't go to college... And the privileged ones that go are now buying this colonial rhetoric that makes no sense to our reality...

I have more and more peak trans moments daily and it's a mix of anguish and rage... I feel like the path to Radical Feminism is something I can't stop by now, once the mask fells off there's no turning back. But I see ahead of me a journey of solitude, of people looking at me as if I'm a monster for daring to say that no, a woman is not a feeling, a woman is not a costume, calling ourselves nb DO NOT erase our oppression... I'm glad to know that there are courageous women like the ones in here committed to defending our rights to self-expression and political mobilization. Thank you so much to all of you. And I hope more women to have peak trans moments and realize that the pretense inclusivity of the Queer rhetoric is painted with misogyny.

[–] Cornelia241 13 points (+13|-0)

I think I have always been peaked (?) I come from a science background and feminism was never interesting for me. More like, "I don't know, I don't care. Great that we can vote!" so I was not aware of what was going on with the feminist movement. Recently however, I started noticing a TRA's trend and the whole "trans woman are woman, pass it on" and that kind of things in FB (when I had one) and IG. Most come from female friends who identify as feminists or queer. This always rub me in a weird way, since I just couldn't wrap my head about the idea that somehow you can be born separated from your brain, or in a wrong body. Maybe because the whole concept is too metaphysical and like I said, I am a scientist. So for me it was clear that women have vaginas and men have penises, among other things which you can immediately recognize (I think they are called secondary sexual characteristics? English is not my first language, sorry!).

Anyway, I remember reposting a silly meme in facebook about "angela ponce" a TiM who was competing for Miss Universe title. The meme was very silly it was like "Because we are better than women at being women!" and a FB contact (male) completely blew on me like How dare I make fun of her and say what is a women! If "she" feels like a women then "she" is a women!! What do I know about womanhood!" And, frankly it was just so hilarious!! There I was, pregnant, and feeling like a Goddess while a man is trying to mansplain me what's like to be a woman!!!

That left me thinking though.. What is to be a women? I certainly don't shave, wear heels, or pink (except when I do because I feel like it?) and I couldn't care less about a beauty pageant!. It has to be something more objective.. what about our actual organs and gametes?! That seems like a good answer.

I didn't know my position actually belongs to GC until a few weeks ago. I was reading an article that landed on my inbox, it was something about TRAs again and the author was explaining how "TERFs are wrong" basically (and how she, a known TRA, wasn't aware that TERF was used as a slur.. Now I laugh!!). I didn't share the opinion of the author but I googled the word "TERF" since they seemed to share my point of view. Of course, google only showed me hate articles against TERF and how awful and horrible they are. I went to another browse engine (duckduckgo) and searched for TERF again and one of the results was mentioning the word "gender critical". Then I learned that the subreddit was banned.. but found Ovarit instead! and I've spent the last days browsing like crazy and learning as much as I can, and happy to be among like-minded gals!

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