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GC Social MediaOn gendered socialization
I am deeply, deeply sympathetic to the horrific trauma that gender-nonconforming male/amab children are subjected to on the basis of their gender-nonconformity, but it is SO intellectually dishonest to say "I was abused because of my femininity in my boyhood and therefore I am not male socialized" when being abused for expressions of femininity that are COUNTER to how you're expected to behave is literally definitionally male socialization. Female/afab children are not abused out of their femininity in an effort to get them to express masculinity, because female socialization is centered around extorting feminine, diminutive behavior out of girls.
NO ONE is immune to socialization.
I think some people mistake 'being socialized as {x}' as 'being treated well as {x}' or 'having the privileges of {x}'.
I read an account today of an autistic female person who claimed that they were 'not socialized as female' because of their gender non-conformity and autism. This confused me until I realized that what they mean is that they did not experience a mainstream socialization. They received punishment other people did not and they did not receive any of the 'perks' of being a girl. They decided that this means they did not receive 'female socialization' but some other special socialization for 'freaks'.
Undoubtedly, being treated like a freak is traumatizing. The gender policing that gender non conforming people, male and female, go through, is traumatizing. It is alienating.
Nevertheless, socialization is not something you choose, it is something other people do to you to get you to learn your 'place' in the gender hierarchy. This is why a girl who shows interest in feminine things is not punished for it, but a boy who shows interest in feminine things is harshly punished. On the flipside, a girl who shows interest in masculine things may be mocked and excluded for it. A boy who does the same thing is praised.
'Male socialization' doesn't mean "everyone loves me and believes in me because I'm male." Because gender is about power, 'male socialization' is about educating and indoctrinating boys to denigrate girls, women, and anything associated with them so they can take their place in the masculine hierarchy. Policing boys who break that code is absolutely part of male socialization.
'Female socialization' doesn't mean "people are nice to me because I'm a girl and I'm nice to people because I'm a girl." Because gender is about power, 'female socialization' is about educating and indoctrinating girls to prepare them for subordinate roles to men. Policing girls who refuse subordination is absolutely part of female socialization.
It's worth noting socialization is not always successful. If it were, then we never would have had feminist thinkers, male makeup artists, gay people in general, and the general sense of malaise people experience being trapped in their gender role. Kids often resist socialization into adulthood. Those of us who are gender non-conforming tried to resist the socialization especially hard. Resisting the socialization does not mean that it did not occur. 'Socialization' is something other people do to you. Accepting the lessons of socialization or not does not mean that the socialization attempt didn't happen.