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HumorNext week, on Queer Island!
Posted July 7, 2024 by MaryDyer in GenderCritical

Voiceover: Next week, on Queer Island! Will Mayor Rhododendron Nightingale ever recover from her brutal misgendering?

Mayor Nightingale (to camera, tearful): “It’s like…it haunts my dreams. I’m running down a long dark tunnel in my cute skirt and thigh highs, my D cups bouncing euphorically and my makeup on point, and the evil words are just following me, until they catch up to me and pin me down, and…”

Voiceover: But she has more on her plate than just misgendering…

Mayor’s advisor: “Madam Mayor, the numbers are in. 40% of the population is named Lilith. An increase in that number could have devastating consequences. It could rip a hole in the space-time continuum.”

Mayor Rhododendron (hissing): “Do you know what you’re asking me to do, Gary? If we place a cap on the name Lilith we’ll have a revolt on our hands, and I don’t like our odds. Also, time is a cishet concept created by the patriarchal white supremacists to oppress queers, people of color, women, Muslims, neurodivergent people, and people who rely on service animals. Do better.”

Voiceover: You’ll see Uptown Queertown as you’ve never seen it before. But will it risk alienating the cissies?

Lilith (to crowd): “We’re painting the trans flag on everything! Buildings, homes, hospitals, old crusty cisbians, even over that old retro rainbow flag! C’mon, let’s get to work!”

Voiceover: There’s more drama in the Arts District as it gets a new name.

Lucy (to Artemis): “Look, I’m just not sure how I feel about renaming it the Farts District.”

Artemis: “It’s to be inclusive, Lucy! Some people have fart fetishes! Get over it and stop kink shaming!”

Lucy: “That’s it, I’m leaving the polycule!” (Tearfully, to camera): “Artemis doesn’t know that I have fart-related trauma in my past.”

Voiceover: And in Little Palestine, parents and birthing bodies come to terms with the brutal mass misgendering of their children.

Kai (to camera): “My non-binary child was misgendered over thirty times. This brutality must stop.”

Noah (to camera): “How can someone misgender CHILDREN?!?”

Jade (hugging daughter): “I don’t know what I’d have done if I lost my daughter. We’re going through female puberty together, and we just love sharing bras and measuring our booba and looking at Tanner stages on the internet together. Don’t we, honey?”

Daughter: “Please stop touching me.”

Voiceover: Will the Mayor stem the tide of Liliths? Will the revamping of Uptown Queertown alienate the cis? Will Lucy really leave the polycule, or will she come running back? Does Little Palestine even have any Muslims in it? And what size are Jade’s breasts? Find out on Queer Island, next Saturday at 9 pm eastern, 6 pm pacific, only on NBC!

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