I like to tell people that my youngest, when being rude, doesn't mean it.

But this is a complete lie. Youngest knows exactly what Youngest is doing and is absolutely starting shit on purpose. Now, the primary objective is to embarrass me, not you, so you still don't have to take it personally. (Or do you?)

I've tried explaining to Youngest why we don't say certain things, but I'm worried that Youngest doesn't sincerely want to know the reason. Youngest seems to just be gathering intelligence to add to the war chest. It's better to just give a flat rule: "Say this again and you're going to pay the price, kiddo."

Some kids, like my Oldest, take information/education and apply it to be an upstanding member of society. Some kids, like my Youngest, use it to subvert society and watch the world burn.

So there's that. Remember in the first Beetlejuice movie when Beetlejuice is trying to force Lydia into marrying him? And Barbara sneaks up and shouts "BEETLEJUICE!" And Beetlejuice says "EEEEE!" and slaps a zipper on her mouth? Barbara opens the zipper and shouts "BEETLEJUICE!" again and so Beetlejuice slaps a steel plaque on her mouth that's riveted shut?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-YGydQ73A4

Sometimes I wish I could do that with Youngest.

Anyway, one of the ways the universe has set me up for failure is that there are about 3 AGPs in my new complex that I've seen thus far. Luckily, Youngest hadn't seen them yet, but I knew the law of averages was going to catch up.

Well, yesterday was the day.

I was rushing to get the kids to school. Oldest still needs a lot of management and reminders so this is always a big chore. I was hoping Oldest would mature and be able to help me with Youngest, but alas. I deserve this though, because while I was a very obedient child, I was flaky and hard to get ready.

We ran down the hall to the elevator, where someone was helpfully holding it for us.

We dashed in.

And there he was, in his 6'14 glory.

I really do mean it, he was not just man huge but Goliath huge. He was wearing a jumpsuit uniform so wasn't in his usual attire today. He was, however, wearing makeup and little earrings with styled hair. Youngest was jibber-jabbering and not really looking at him and I was hoping it would stay that way. But no, Youngest eventually looked up.

"So are you a boy or what?" Youngest snapped. Youngest snapped this with all the sensitivity of a retired military grandfather.

To this guy's credit, he smiled and softly laughed. He didn't shout at Youngest and didn't try to transplain. That's at least healthier- at his height and with his features, he has no hope of passing as a woman. He can't even do effeminate dandy. Door frames are a serious daily hazard for him. If he can't take it with good grace, he'll never have a peaceful moment.

I was relieved and told Youngest in the car that we don't ask nosy questions. Youngest asked why and I did the "because I said so" thing because again- avoid giving Youngest access to social weaponry.

This AGP seems to be the most laidback of the bunch. I still view cross-dressing in public as sexually aggressive and boundary crushing, but at least he has no interest in It Is MA'AM behavior.

The other two I'm not so sure about. I'm very worried about one in particular. That one has an extremely aggressive vibe.

I know it's a free country, and people should be allowed to dress how they want, blah blah blah.

But I really wish men would not cross-dress in public. It's not being their authentic selves, it's indulging in a fetish. It's fishing for interaction, either from stares or questions. It increases the odds that a curious child will interact with them, trying to understand what's going on. And let's face it, most AGPs use that as an opportunity to groom educate a child about gender identity.

It's not only a violation of society's necessary boundaries to protect kids, but it makes my life harder. I have a child who won't stay shtum when necessary. I'm sure my parenting could be better but for the time being, Youngest will be blunt and rude. I don't encourage it but I'm having a hard time correcting it.

And this also brought back a bad memory for me. Years ago, when I was working in schools, a female teacher transitioned mid-year. I was working with a girl one-on-one. This girl had a lot of problems and was always being sent to the office because she couldn't control her behavior. She referred to this teacher as "Miss So And So" and I said "MISTER So And So." This was when people were starting to demand punishment of young children for misgendering in schools. Kids had to be sent to the office for re-education and restorative justice. She whispered "But....you know that's a woman, right?" My heart melted and I said "I know, but we have to call her Mister now, okay?"

I felt like a pile of shit. I just didn't want her to get into trouble for one more thing. She already felt like a bad kid and I didn't want her to be chastised again. For her to feel like she had failed the day once more, and she couldn't do anything right. I was so angry with that teacher for doing this to her. For doing that to all the kids, really. Shifting reality like that and then putting it on the kids to go with it or be told they're misbehaving.

So.

Any trans lurkers, your cross-dressing is rude. My kid is rude, but you are ruder and my kid is at least adorable. Stop cross-dressing in public.