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DiscussionHypocrisy of "nice guys" and trans rights
A couple of days ago, I saw an article on Yahoo about how a Twitter account called "Muppet History" has been hit by scandal. The owner has been sending sexually inappropriate messages to women, and his wife got caught in the backlash because she defended him. (I'm kind of surprised this is a big enough story to warrant mainstream media coverage, but here we are.)
I browsed the account, and it's brimming with wholesome memes, "be kind" and so on. Now, I'm not remotely shocked that a "nice, progressive guy" has betrayed his wife and harassed other women. The part that annoyed me was that he's posted frequently about how we need to #ProtectTransKids (by castrating them, obviously), how he doesn't care if he loses followers for tweeting #TransRightsAreHumanRights, how the account is a "safe space" for trans people... You get the idea.
I'm sure some people would say, "Well, you don't need to be perfect to be progressive" - and that's true. But supporting trans rights is all about prioritising men's rights above women's. It's deeply annoying when men get "woke points" for acting as though women are bigoted for not wanting to undress in front of a man. And, lo and behold, it turns out one of the men who can't understand why women have boundaries DM'd a female friend to ask her for a blowjob, then tried to dismiss it as "playful flirting".
I'm sick of being told I'm not a real feminist by men who treat the women in their life like dirt. On the plus side, this guy's nonpology was not well-received, and he's now closing the account. He quit his job last year because he was making so much income from "Muppet History", so at least he's getting his just deserts.
Had a discussion with a family friend recently who is one of those progressive-lefty feminist men. Went to the women’s march in 2016 with the “pussy hats” and all that. And of course during that conversation he kept talking over me, dismissing any concerns I had as “well that happens on both sides” and told me one of his 50 year old male friends who puts a dress on on Wednesdays is “juSt as mUch oF a woMan as yOu!” He’s also the type that will use “mansplaining” against men when it’s convenient but of course be very happy to mansplain when he wants. These types are just not serious people at all and like the guy you mentioned it's all so predictable.
He’s also the type that will use “mansplaining” against men when it’s convenient but of course be very happy to mansplain when he wants.
Well, you see mansplaining only happens when a man hates women and wants them all to have their tongues cut out so only he can talk. Since your friend obviously doesn't want that, he can't possibly ever mansplain EVER! :P
It honestly fits pretty cleanly into how "Nice Guys" (TM) act and their attitudes towards women. They tend to see themselves as special men and resent it when women don't agree and fawn over them, treat them as special. They make little performative gestures towards us and think that should elevate them above 'men' in general, that it should buy special privileges from us. They exaggerate the amount of credit they feel they're owed by women over the most basic things (seriously, 'being nice' is, like, the basic expectation for people generally) and downplay or rationalize away the harmful, negative things they say and do to us, however beyond the pale. They get angry at any sign that women view them as being potential threats...and not uncommonly in that anger jump straight to threatening us. And generally (under the right conditions) they'll whine endlessly over how being treated with some amount of suspicion by women is SO MUCH WORSE...than all of the horrible things men do to women that teach us to be cautious of any man who hasn't earned our trust.
Editing to add: Forgot to tie it all back together. That does this sound like TIMs? It certainly sounds like TIMs to me. Think it's no wonder that "Nice Guys" (TM) find common cause with them.
that it should buy special privileges from us.
This is what I've observed too. I've had two instances where a friend of a dude I was seeing has told me in a "consider yourself lucky" kind of way that "he's the kind of guy who'd give you the shirt of his back". I've found out the hard way that what that really means is that he thinks that in return for his "good deeds", he deserves a pushover submissive woman as a trophy.
The first one kept whining for me to perform sex acts that I'd said I was not interested in, and instead of taking no for an answer he would keep trying to bargain or whine like a spoiled 8 year old. Good riddance to him.
The second one tried to guilt me that if I didn't wear a bikini, it's because I didn't have enough faith in the male deity. Like, first of all, wut? Second, I also said no to this on multiple occasions and he kept at it like I owed it to not only him, but the male deity for fuck's sake. Only when I confronted him about it with another woman present did he finally sheepishly cop to the fact that he had just wanted other men to envy him having a girl in a bikini at his side; like duh dude, you weren't fooling anyone 🙄
I'm surprised he didn't go for the "you're not empowered if you don't show off your body" line.
I reckon the "you don't have faith if you don't show your body" is just the equally idiotic religious version of that, since empowerment is kinda the opposite of what being a living sacrifice for your husband is about.
Think it's no wonder that "Nice Guys" (TM) find common cause with them.
And plenty of them become TIMs. I feel this fits Charlotte Clymer to a 'T'.
An SJW dudebro who prattles on about "trans rights" turned out to be a creepy sex pest!? I am SHOCKED!!! 🙄
Also, imagine creeping on women using a Muppet fan account. How long before we find out that he sent creepy DMs to children as well?
The blowjob comment was accompanied by a photo of Kermit smirking. And "blowjob" and "Kermit" are two words I really don't ever want to see associated with each other again.
I've learned thr I ugh my life that when it comes to feminism, men have no goddamned clue.
I had a feeling something like this would happen. I remember the guy who ran that series (Shane Madej). I watched some of his stuff along with his buddy (Ryan Vergara) and they both came across as insincere scumbags. Very preachy about trans rights and liberal feminism, which set off a lot of red flags. They were in some hot water earlier this year (I think?) when they wanted to make a streaming platform for their channel (one that you would have to pay for, even though they were putting out "quality content" for free already). People didn't like that, naturally, so they backtracked. Not surprised to see he did this. Wouldn't surprise me if his buddy is in the same boat. Nothing but money-hungry, misogynistic, reality denying scrotes.
I have noticed that people who work very hard to convince me that they are good people, and that they give a lot to charities or they're constantly hashtagging whatever social brownie points du jour are anything but.
The key word is "convince". When people grandstand the rainbow nation and be kind and all of this stuff it often puts me on alert because it feels like they are trying to convince me and themselves that they are someone they are not.
In my personal life the people who were the biggest rainbow flag grandstanders were the people that had the least amount of actual morals and values in their interpersonal relationships.
It's an easy low hanging fruit that doesn't actually mean anything and they can use it to position themselves as a safer person than they really are.
Yes, exactly. If a man has to tell you he's rich, he's not. If a man has to tell you he's smart, he's not. If a man has to tell you he's kind and "one of the good ones"... he's not.
This is a good rule for life in general. If someone needs to tell you they're a good person, they probably aren't