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RantFriend dodged TIM bullet, still can't see
Over the weekend, I had lunch with my friend of many years. We met each other at work over a decade ago and now we work together again. She has had a super rough few years, with health scares and a nasty divorce from an abusive man. Cherry on top was when her 17-year-old son transed. Before he came out, he was a nerdy, goofy, social little turd. It was really fun being around him. Now, he never leaves his room and threatens suicide when she asks him to do things like washing the dishes. She's been "educated" and is supportive of the trans identity. She is frightened of him committing suicide even though she says she knows he's just being manipulative with the threats. All this to say, I'm pretty careful about hiding some of my opinions around her. I really do like her and her kid even though he's going through what I hope is just an asshole phase.
Due to the divorce, my friend is short on funds. She's taken in a lovely lodger, and is working with the state to get a person moved in who couldn't live on their own. Like she would would cook meals and take them to appointments, things like that.
At our lunch, she described an experience she had with a potential client who is a TIM. First thing she says is the client doesn't get along with his abusive mother because "she doesn't agree with the transgender thing". The TIM visited her home with a caseworker the first time. He had a walker and kept losing his balance and fell twice. To get to where his room would be, he had to crawl up the stairs (I'm assuming while wearing a skirt). Friend was getting set to install a ramp outside the house and a lift contraption to get the client up the stairs.
Then came the second visit, when the TIM brought his mom along. My friend thought everything went well again until the lodger showed her bizarre doorbell camera footage. You can see the TIM and his mom walking up the driveway, having an argument. Mom shakes her head, looks exasperated, and starts walking back to the car. Typical hulking male TIM, about a foot taller than the mom, picks up the walker and whips around to follow. As he's walking, he's also yelling and slamming the walker into the ground. It's clear he walks just fine. Then as soon as my friend walks out onto the porch, his posture completely changed. He hunched over the walker and slowly shuffled back up the driveway.
My friend and the lodger decided to go check at the burger chain where the TIM works every other week, and they saw him carrying food out to cars with no walker and no issues. So at the very least, he's committing fraud.
I decided to push just a little bit more than I usually would and asked if she was sure the TIM's mother was really the abusive one here. She was sure, and went on to say she was also sure he wouldn't be a danger to her or the kids if he moved into the house.
Conversation moved on after that. I've been mulling it over, these parents are in a tough position. My usually sharp, perceptive friend is burying her head in the sand out of fear of her kid dying. I'm simultaneously frustrated and heartbroken.
Editing: she declined to take the TIM on as a client due to the fraud.