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DiscussionNone of these women believe you're a man [interesting reddit post]
Just had to share. Came across a reddit post in r/coloranalysis
A woman ["FTM"], sharing some wedding photos of her dress according to her colour season. She announces that it's he/him or fae/faer pronouns.
The vast majority of this subreddit is women. And you can just tell... literally no one thinks this is a man. They might say they do, but deep down, their responses betray the truth.
Here are some responses, full of the most gendered language you'd only use towards a woman.
"Congratulations! I love how radiant you are in these!" "You look absolutely radiant!!" "You look ethereal. I hope you have a happy marriage" "Everything looks magical! Beautiful! Congratulations!" "The jewelry! The makeup! The flowers! The vibes!!! SO gorgeous and ethereal! ✨" "You’re glowing!!!"
She literally wore a silk skirt. Goodness how perplexing. Can you imagine a man getting these kinds of comments?
Reddit is hilarious whenever a trans person posts. Like 15% of the comments will point out the obvious like "that's a dude", but be downvoted to hell. There will always be ONE moderately upvoted mildly gender critical comment, then the rest are overly complimentary in almost a condescending, smarmy, way over the top way 😂
A tim posted himself in a tight dress that really brought out his masculinity the other day. He looked ridiculous, obviously, but most of the comments were all "omg! It's made for you!" And a single "that's not flattering. Are you a man?"
To the male lurkers, the women saying you look good are lying to be nice to you.
This is one of those things where I never know if the TIMs know this deep down, or some of them genuinely take it to heart. Probably some from column A, some from B
Like clapping for a toddler taking their first steps.
"You're a beautiful summer woodland spirit."
Ah, something any man would love to hear!
I don't understand why the outfit choice is a conventional female wedding gown - long/white/floral - if the person identifies a man? Given that the groom appears to be wearing a suit.
Surely you would want to avoid such obvious gender stereotyping?
I bet she's one of those women going "Now I'm identifying as a man/as non-binary/as a unicorn, I am free of all those nasty stereotypes putting women down, and I can finally wear the most feminine frilly dresses with tons of lace because I'm totally not a woman any longer."
Truly baffling stuff. I didn't read the caption initially, and just though "Ahh, a Renfaire wedding, she's dressed with elf ears." Not for a second did I even think she was aiming for 'male' hah
I like her hair, and the skirt, I guess the vest/top is supposed to read as "masculine?"
She probably lives in a "genderbubble" where everyone has to identify as SOMETHING.
Is it just TIFs that use fae/faer pronouns? I don't think I've ever noticed a TIM use them; TIMs seem to very much want everyone to know they use she/her.
I think it’s more common for young women to be nonbinary (whether or not they take hormones and get surgeries), which includes all the wacky ass xenogenders and their even more wacky ass pronouns. But there’s definitely a market for attention seeking weirdo TIMs, especially if they overlap with furries or otherkins.
I always thought it was a diagraph, a leftover from Anglo-Saxon, where the a and the e are conjoined into a one-letter combo (I don't know how to find a keyboard command to show you, but you can look it up).
Now it's mostly used as a kind of an anachronism used to make a word like "fairy" sound exotic, as if derived from a time long ago ("Faerie"). Tolkien used it that way, as if "Faerie" were a place apart from our everyday world where magical things happen.
I've seen the pronunciation described as both the way you would say the vowel in the words "ray" or "mash."
Nah we had a fae/faer TIM get posted on here like this very week
fae/faer pronouns
If ever there were pronouns just begging to be disrespected it's these
You think that's bad? Try bunself and squeakself.
How do you pronounce these?
Fee/fur rhymes with He/Her
Or
Fay/Fay-ugh???
Fee Fi Fo Fum, maybe?
Here are some responses, full of the most gendered language you'd only use towards a woman.
"Congratulations! I love how radiant you are in these!" "You look absolutely radiant!!" "You look ethereal. I hope you have a happy marriage" "Everything looks magical! Beautiful! Congratulations!" "The jewelry! The makeup! The flowers! The vibes!!! SO gorgeous and ethereal! ✨" "You’re glowing!!!"
jfc, I wouldn't even say these cloying compliments to a regular woman. if I were complimenting someone on their clothing choices, I would make a more unisex remark, like "that's a cool shirt" or "I like that jacket" or "that color looks flattering for your skin tone." all of those examples would be suitable to say to a woman or man.
to be fair, it's probably less common for men to be complimented on clothing being good with their skin tone, but I just can't see anyone saying "Everything looks magical! Beautiful! Congratulations!" to compliment a man.
it does make me wonder, if a man were to receive compliments/comments similar to the ones you saw on that post, what would his reaction be? would he think that he was being mocked or insulted, or just think it's kind of strange but otherwise feel indifferent?
Well the comments make a little bit more sense in relation to a woman's wedding outfit. Blushing, glowing, radiant, etc.
I don't think it's about the compliment generally but the adjectives. At least to some degree. They would have said "Classy!" or "Wow, handsome. Great combination." "You look so happy and confident, and your wife is stunning!" "You BOTH look so happy."
I think if you told a man he was radiant... Hmm, if it seemed meant in good faith, he might think maybe you thought he was gay? If it was a comment on his wedding photo to a woman, probably indifferent, or just assume that's how women talk about things? Interesting thought. I have heard from a lot of men in my life that men don't get compliments, and it's really wonderful feeling when they do [I wonder if they realize that's because the second they get a compliment, half them treat it as an invitation to try to hook up.]
And they could...now hear me out...compliment each other!
https://metro.co.uk/2014/11/05/dudesgreetingdudes-is-switching-the-tables-on-catcalling-4936311/
I assume men are less likely to be complimented on their appearance, whether it's about their physical features or clothing. complimenting anyone's body/physical features feels more loaded and subject to interpretation as flirting, especially if it's between a woman and man, but complimenting clothing isn't necessarily as loaded that way.
I do compliment men sometimes, usually men I know and am friends with, but I have even occasionally complimented men who are strangers. It might be about their clothing choices, or for men I know, possibly about something related to their field of work or other interests, like "I liked that project you did about...."
it just never would occur to me to describe/compliment a man as "radiant" and tbh, it's not really the first word I'd think of to describe a woman either. even in the context of wedding photos, I might say something like "you look really great in these" or "you look so happy, congratulations!"
My speculation is that men don't really care about looking radiant, so if a man received that compliment, they might just shrug it off and not really take it to heart? in other words, it wouldn't mean much to them. but idk, I could be wrong.
I just can't see anyone saying "Everything looks magical! Beautiful! Congratulations!" to compliment a man.
They might say it to a TIM.
People talk to gender woo's like they talk to people with special needs.
Or old people. As if they're pets. And mentally compromised.
Well, that’s because they are. The reason people talk to TIPs like they’re six year olds is because they know that they’re mentally fragile… I mean they constantly threaten suicide and blow up over the smallest issues, not to mention the biggest tell which is that they think they are something they are demonstrably not,
The other reason is the fawning is over compensating and virtue signaling. An earnest TRA looks at a man in a dress and sees a man in a dress. They feel guilty, they over compensate by being extra super duper nice, and you get the weird compliment soups