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RantJust really baffled by how entitled TIMs are
So I was on a date tonight and having a really good time - can't give too much detail without doxxing myself and of course we run into a TIM.
Me and the date were dicking around minding our own business talking about something and I happen to look over and THERE HE IS STARING RIGHT AT US ISTG
We make eye contact and I duck my head down and look at my feet because dudes staring at me instinctively makes me nervous and uncomfortable.
I think okay he's not gonna bug us. My date is occupied with something so I can't just walk away like I normally would.
So I try to forget about it and we're chattering back and forth and bro out of nowhere just BUTTS INTO OUR CONVERSATION
No introduction. Just immediately chimes in loudly like he's been part of the conversation the whole time.
Like I said something to her and he so casually was like "Haha yea" and then just repeated what I said.
Thankfully my date kinda ignored him. Not sure if she felt the awkwardness or didn't wanna be rude, I mean it's a man and the fawn response does come out in full force sometimes when they put us in these shitty social situations.
I didn't ignore him. I made a pretty shitty backhanded comment off cuff that he honestly kinda walked right into. I could tell it hurt his feelings because he frowned and ducked his head down and immediately pretended like he was doing something else. But it's like goddamn man leave lesbians the fuck alone and then I wouldn't have to be a B word to you, ya know?
They really do think lesbians exist as their little social / validation props. They think that we're their safe-space. Irritating.
What's really funny is that I don't think my date even knew that was a TIM. I braced myself after the interaction because I thought she was about to maybe lecture me for being transphobic or something, but I think she just thought he was a guy with long hair and weird clothes LMFAO.
"Haha yeah. Right, girlies? Isn't it fun being a woman? Don't you hate when your checks notes fallopian tubes get horny??"
I'm impressed you didn't vomit on him.
"Haha yeah. Right, girlies? Isn't it fun being a woman? Don't you hate when your checks notes fallopian tubes get horny??"
Lol.
I made a pretty shitty backhanded comment off cuff that he honestly kinda walked right into. I could tell it hurt his feelings because he frowned and ducked his head down and immediately pretended like he was doing something else.
Good for you! Love to see women stand up for themselves.
I cheered for OP when I got to this part.
Hope that asshole is whining to his hugbox right now, or staring into a mirror questioning his clockability and life choices. Sorry not sorry!
He’s probably posting on Reddit right now about his invalidating encounter with “cis lesbians” 😂😂
You know, I was musing in the shower the other day about how males have crafted this entire mythology around the idea that "big dick" is a good thing. "Big dick energy" etc.
And it's, like, such a perfect patriarchal reversal, because women's more common use of the term ("Wow, that guy was a big dick") is so much more accurate.
Anyways all this to say, trans males invariably have the biggest dick energy of all males, and it is hilarious whenever they aren't actively being terrorists at the same time.
I have only known one woman who talked about dicks being really big as a good thing. For most of us it just means painful intercourse. Not that a really small one is great either, though!
Hardness matters more than size except at the extremes.
All the men with their soft ladee princess wands? Yuck. You did that to yourself on purpose?
My experience has been that women care about dicks to precisely the extent that men make us care about them, and no more.
Eh, I've met a few size queens, and am a bit of one myself. Common consensus is that it's better only when there isn't a dude attached to it at all though XD. (Silicone forever)
lesbian scribbling notes furiously
I swear they're like ticks to a dog - they detect and attach to anything giving off lesbian vibes. I think there are two motivations going on. One, like you said, they're trying to farm validation off lesbians, in that "if I insert myself among lesbians and they interact with me, I'm validated as a fellow lesbian". And two, they think "if I make friends with this lesbian, she'll either date me or introduce me to other lesbians to smash".
I'm one of those "visibly gay" lesbians so they home in on me too. When they try to pull this shit I feed them nothing other than a look that says "I see you" and they tend to look down and back off. As entitled as they are to even try, deep down they know they're coming in uninvited and begging for affirmation scraps, so just withholding what they want tends to work irl. I'm done being polite. I'll give them the basic human dignity I give any random stranger, but nothing more. Politeness is what paved the way to the loss of our lesbian communities and spaces to fetishistic, entitled men.
Glad your date went well regardless of the intrusion.
Yea I didn't think about that, being used as a gateway to other lesbians. YUCK! Especially since we're always so supportive and helpful when it comes to finding our friends dates. For them to take advantage of that 🤢
But it's like goddamn man leave lesbians the fuck alone and then I wouldn't have to be a B word to you, ya know?
He is not going to leave lesbians the fuck alone, so always be a B word, you know? He is not thinking about your safety and well-being. If he's lonely, that's not your fault. He's just like any other man. A lot of men are lonely and want female attention. But that's not your problem.
It's irritating because if I wasn't visibly gay they wouldn't be pestering me! Men who aren't trans NEVER talk to me or make any effort to socialize with me. Harassing lesbians is such a core part of TIM identity
they really do think you're their safe space. even us bi girls who are openly with women become their mommies. it's disgusting. I'm sorry this happens to you. I'm glad I'm straight passing and look b!tchy unless I'm complimenting someone etc, and even tho I actually do that a lot - I love telling someone their shoes rock or hair color is cool, people deserve to hear something nice about their style choices and stuff I think - and I'd neeeeeever compliment a TIM. most of those weird skinny little incel TIMs glare at me and won't even respond if I'm forced to speak with them at work. they haaaaaaate me because I'm super effortlessly feminine without trying at all, just 'cause of my general size and stuff. I know this bc I had a TIM friend who said stuff like that to me all the time, that he was jealous of stuff like that. it got super weird.
I love you but TIMs do not feel jealous of women for being small and feminine. They love being big and strong like all the other men. They love being intimidating to us it gets them a LOT if not most of their social leeway, as most women are too afraid of them getting violent to confront them about the shit they pull. We have to completely eliminate the notion that they envy us from our minds. Males do not envy females. It is delusional to think we actually have anything that they want.
Why do you think they all join sports and then proceed to beat the shit out of women? They like being big dudes.
The reason you see so much "Boo hoo Sarah is so small and delicate why can't I be her?!" lies on reddit is because those posts are a big circle-jerk of hate towards women they're sexually attracted to And you'll note many of those posts end in violent fantasies. "I just want to kill her" or something like that. They revert back to expressing the desire to dominate and hurt us pretty quick. They can't even pretend they wanna be weak and delicate for that long.
It's the typical male fetish of the weak helpless delicate female, turned inwards. After they nut they're ready to walk around out in the real world as they are. They enjoy the privileges of male strength and size and would not actually wanna give it up.
I can agree that it's sexual as well likely. I just also think with AGPs both can be true at the same time. I'm not humble braggin or anything, I'm just repeating what someone told me a lot which was that I'm the size and shape most "trans girls" wanna be. but I will say I also tend not to see that men see me sexually so that's definitely a factor in those interactions for me. I know it could end with sexual violence so I never put myself in a position to be alone with those men but I grew up getting nothing but negative attention from my male peers so I tend to forget those things. I do appreciate the reminder but yeah... I think they can both be true. These men are fucked in the head, they probably wish they could look small but retain the strength and their "ladydick" etc etc.
It's kinda funny how these (assuming straight) dudes think joining the alphabet soup will automatically get them warm, fuzzy interactions with women. LOL.
Think of the shittiest, most obnoxious, predatory, threatening, entitled, fetishizing, always on the edge of male violence heterosexual men possible. (Straight women, feel free to help out with the worst things you have found about het men.)
Those things, to the most extreme degree, is ALL of the AGP heterosexual men that say they are "lesbians" and prey upon actual lesbians. Including the piece of garbage that foisted himself on you and the woman you were with.
Yea and it's not even all his fault. For every lesbian like me that wants them all relocated to a remote island, there's fifty handmaid lesbians that give them a positive reaction when they pull this shit
Well done for not humoring him. Glad it didn't affect your date.
Does anyone remember as a kid saying "this is an A B conversation so C your way outta it"? This feels like a good situation for that sentence.
Haha I remember being on the receiving end, that's for damn sure. I think that's why it's so irritating to me. Having never had to go through female socialisation, they just mindlessly yap at women, who of course must listen and be accommodating to his social needs immediately or we're "bad women". Well guess what sweetheart, the same rules don't apply to other women 😂 Here's that female treatment ya wanted.
I think she just thought he was a guy with long hair and weird clothes LMFAO.
It's hilarious to me that TIMs claim they pass so well, and plenty of us are just trying to figure out if they identify as trans or have an unusual sense of style.
I know they identify as trans because they talk to me lmfao. Men who don't identify as trans don't acknowledge my existence
Congrats on your good time! I hope that weirdo goes and cries to his echo chamber later. lol
I'm wondering what the set up for this was... were you sitting at a bar, booth, or private table?
I can't say without outing myself unfortunately but it wasn't any of those
It’s because they are men and men grow up in a society that caters to them. It creates self centeredness and entitlement
And you know what? If he'd said hi or started a conversation with us organically it wouldn't have pissed me off even half as much. I'm used to them soliciting attention from me at this point (they're like 90% of my dating options for some fucking reason) like yea it would have been annoying and I would have kept things short but it wouldn't have upset me to the point where I'm just blatantly insulting him.
It's the fact that he just chimed into the conversation we were already having out of nowhere that pissed me off so bad. Like a child trying to chime into an adult conversation. I've never even had a normal man be that rude.
Are you writing this down, lurkers? Stop hovering around gay women you don't know in public waiting to ad-lib your hysterical nonsense into our conversations. Try "Hi I'm Lilith how are you?" or something like that first. You're making yourselves look like the creepy entitled sex pest males you really are